So it's me again and I've been working on this for a while. Of course, my weird OCDness prevents me from posting this before it is finished, so I can edit and proofread and whatnot. (Beta readers? Ha what's that? XD Really though, I would rather just do it myself.)

Alas, I digress, hopefully you like this. Doesn't really have anything to do with the current plot of the show, other than that I guess it kinda takes place after season 8, cause Cas is human and all. And also, Sam doesn't almost die from the trials, so there's that too and I included Kevin and Charlie in like the last chapter, but that's all. No Crowley or Ezekiel and stuff, so don't worry about spoilers.

Anyways, on with the story! Allons-y! (Less than two weeks until the 50th of DW YAY!)


The one unpleasant thing about being human would probably have to be being so fragile, Castiel decides. Pain wasn't entirely a new sensation to him of course, but it had never been so intense before. Getting thrown against a wall by a djinn is definitely painful and it knocks all the breath out of him. As his vision starts to go dark and he curses himself for being so weak, he sees Sam and Dean out cold on the floor. He wants to go to them, try to find a way to help, but he's helplessly dangling in the vice-like grip of the monster before him. In one moment, eyes flash blue and tattoos swirl up the arm gripping him. He can feel the poison working through his system and while he tries to fight it, Castiel eventually succumbs to unconsciousness.


When he next wakes up, he knows something's off. What exactly is off, he's not entirely sure of, but there's just this gut feeling that there's something wrong with this situation. He gets out of bed and stretches, flashes of dreams coming back to him in the form of bright blue glowing and an unsettling feeling of helplessness. It feels familiar somehow, but for the moment, he shakes it off.

The sun shines into the room through the blinds and when he glances at the clock, he sees that it's well past ten in the morning. Just as he finishes getting dressed, there's a knock at the door. Dean pokes his head in and smiles when he sees Castiel. For some inexplicable reason, this makes his heart beat faster and a smile blooms on his face of its own accord.

"Morning Sleeping Beauty. I was just wondering if you were ever going to get up and join the land of the living," Dean says.

"Ha ha, very funny Dean," he remarks sarcastically.

Dean walks in and leans down to plant a kiss on Castiel's forehead. For a moment, he's confused about why Dean would show such affection, but his concentration is broken when Dean starts talking again.

"So, you missed breakfast, but I'm sure I could whip something up for you," he's saying.

"Uh, sure, that would be nice," Castiel replies.

He follows Dean into the kitchen and when he attempts to assist him with the cooking, the other man chuckles and directs him to the table.

"Dude, I love you and I know you want to help, but do you remember what happened last time?" he says, trying his hardest not to laugh.

And the answer, for some reason, is no. Castiel doesn't remember what happened last time. In fact, he doesn't even remember last night, or the night before. He doesn't even remember why he and Dean are living in the same house together. But Castiel doesn't say this and instead he plays along and acts like he does.

Later, after eating and cleaning up, he finally asks one question that's been bothering him for a while.

"Where's Sam?"

Dean gives him a strange look, like Castiel has sprouted another head.

"At Stanford? Like he's always been?"

"Oh,"

"Cas, we just saw him like a week ago when he came to visit. Remember?"

"Yes, I guess I just forgot," he says and it's a weak excuse, but Dean seems to buy it, so he doesn't push things.

"Alright, I gotta go to work before I'm late. Again," Dean says after a while.

"Of course,"

Dean leaves the room and when he comes back, he's dressed in a suit and tie. Castiel almost wants to ask where he works, because again, he can't remember, but he doesn't because that would just warrant more strange looks and unanswerable questions.

"See you in a couple of hours, angel," Dean says.

He leans in and kisses Castiel full on the lips for just a second before departing. After Dean leaves, he just sits there, head spinning and trying to figure out why he's so confused. Eventually however, Castiel heads into what he assumes is their living room. He gazes at pictures, older pictures, of him and Dean together. Some of them even have Sam in them and Castiel is shocked to see Ruby standing by his side. He finds an old card from a while ago in a desk drawer that reads 'Happy Anniversary!' and this confuses him even more. When had they gotten together? Were they married or was it just commemorating the date they became a couple? Why was Sam at Stanford and why was Ruby still alive? He knows that he should know the answers to these questions, but for some reason he just can't remember.

He thinks about calling someone, obviously not Dean, and trying to figure out more about this life that he can barely recall himself. He rifles through their things, ignoring the fact that he should know where these things are anyway, and finds an address book. He looks at the names and figures that calling his brother, who apparently is alive in this life as well, may not be the worst idea ever.

"Cassie is that you?" Gabriel answers gleefully, not even bothering with a hello. Typical.

"Gabriel. How are you?" Castiel replies.

"Fine I guess? What's the dealio, bro? You gotta have a reason for calling me,"

"I just had some questions I was hoping you could answer,"

"Shoot,"

"Uh, these questions might seem odd, but just humor me, okay?"

"Sure, whatever,"

"How long have Dean and I been, you know, together?"

"Tired of him already, Cassie?"

Castiel sighs and decides that, okay, maybe calling his brother actually was the worst idea ever.

"Gabriel,"

"Oh fine. Five years,"

"Five?"

"Uh, yeah? You sound surprised. He can't be that bad, can he?"

"No, I just wanted to know. Also, do you know the demon Ruby?"

"Wow little bro, I know you don't like her, but demon's a little harsh isn't it?" Gabriel says, chuckling on the other line.

"I just don't think she's good for Sam. But that's beside the point. There's something off about all of this,"

"This?"

"Everything. This life, my life with Dean, I can't remember any of the past five years in this world. I remember the strangest things, like being an angel of the Lord and fighting demons. I remember fighting all these supernatural things with Sam and Dean. But in this place, it's like none of that happened! The end of days didn't happen, I didn't become God and practically destroy Heaven, Dean and I are together, Sam is at college and Ruby is alive and not a demon. And you're alive too!"

"Uh, yeah, obviously. Um, Cassie, are you hungover? Or high? Because you just spouted some totally crazy nonsense, dude. And whatever drugs you're on, I would totally love if you could hook me up,"

"I'm being serious Gabriel! I don't remember anything!" Castiel exclaims, growing more frustrated, confused, and worried by the second.

"Okay, jeez, don't get your panties in a bunch! Have you talked to anyone about it?"

"No, just you,"

"Well good, since you would've sounded like a crazy person to anyone else. Hell, you still sound crazy, even to me,"

Cas!

"What?"

"What?" Gabriel says, sounding even more confused by his brother's odd behavior.

"Why did you call me?"

"Uh, I didn't,"

"I know I heard someone call my name,"

"Dean maybe?"

"He's gone,"

"Well then you've probably just lost your marbles Cassie. Hang on a sec. Huh? Oh, sorry bro, gotta go for now. Uh, for your whole delusional thing, I'd suggest you see a shrink or something. I don't know. Whatever works. Adios,"

The phone clicks and Castiel hangs up, sighing. This had gotten him nowhere. All it had succeeded in was getting his not-dead brother to think he had lost his mind. Which, maybe he has.

His head jerks up when he hears someone call his name again. He swears that it sounds like Dean and for just a split second he feels pain and cold and sees nothing but darkness. Then things snap back to how they were before, leaving phantom pains tingling throughout his body and his eyes adjusting to the lights in the living room.

He takes a shaky breath and attempts to stand, grabbing onto the table when his knees almost give out. What's happening to me? he wonders.

There isn't much to do until Dean gets back. As far as he can tell, he doesn't have a job or anything. He watches TV and cleans up their home, but mainly he just goes through old photo albums of the two of them. He feels that weird warm feeling he got when Dean had kissed him. In the photos, Dean is mostly not even looking at the camera. Instead he's directing that brilliant smile at Castiel who actually is looking where he's supposed to. In other photos, neither of them are even paying any attention to whether there's a camera. They're either hugging or kissing or just plain smiling at each other. And for the first time since he woke up this morning, Castiel wants to remember this life. He doesn't care about whatever strange things are happening to him. He wants to remember being happy with who is quite obviously the love of his life and he wants to remember all the silly things they did together that actually got them together in the first place.

When Dean finally returns, Castiel greets him at the door with a hug and an enthusiastic kiss. While the other man has no problem with this, he still pulls back and gives Castiel an odd look.

"While I do appreciate your uh, warm welcome, is everything good, angel?"

"Yes. More than good. Very good, in fact. I just…really love you," Castiel says, mentally scolding himself for how spectacularly he failed at finishing that sentence with something not 'chick flick'-y as Dean would say.

But Dean definitely doesn't protest the statement. He smile brightly and his green eyes shine just a bit.

"Good, cause I love you too, Cas," he replies.

A goofy smile spreads across Castiel's face and he can't seem to stop it. Dean smiles back and pulls Castiel closer, resting their foreheads together and it feels like his heart is going to beat right out of his chest, but it's a pleasant feeling.

"You, Castiel Novak, are the most amazing and adorable man I have ever met. How did I get so lucky to end up with someone like you?"

Castiel figures that this is one of those rhetorical questions you don't actually have to answer. Not with words at least. He closes the distance between them and presses their lips together, feeling like he's flying with the way Dean is kissing him back so lovingly.

That persistent voice that keeps calling him is back again but Castiel can't find it in himself to acknowledge it when he's so deeply absorbed in what he's already doing.

One of Dean's hands comes up to cup his cheek and Castiel manages to get one of his hands up into the other's hair, loving how soft it feels against his fingers.

"Dean," he sighs against his lover's lips.

Dean pulls back and just smiles at Castiel, green eyes so full of love that it takes his breath away. And suddenly, he doesn't care about this weird other life that he remembers. All that matters is the here and now. He only cares about that delightfully warm feeling he gets when Dean tells him that he loves him and the way it spreads through his whole being when they touch.

He lets Dean take him to bed and while his mind not remember what it was like last time, his body certainly does. It's after they've cleaned up and are snuggled together under the covers that Castiel realizes how much he loves Dean. He hadn't known it before, in that other place where they were always fighting just to live another day, but in this calmer and safer world, it's blatantly obvious to him. He thinks about all those times that he almost lost, and sometimes did lose, Dean and he never wants to go through that feeling again. So he tightens his grip where his arm is wrapped around Dean and rests his head on his lover's chest, taking comfort in the sound of a heart beating steadily underneath.


So, there you go! Like? Hate? Okay? Thanks for reading either way :D

And no, I cannot write smut. Like seriously, I don't know how some of you do it (I commend you for it though and applaud you *applause*). So use your imagination. XD

It was kind of fun to write Gabriel in there, I wish they'd bring him back to the show already :P