It was a day no person would like. Dark clouded sky with heavy rain pouring over the earth with no hope for sunshine. It was cold; if you left your home you would get a feeling like your skin is being covered with thin layer of ice and it's freezing the blood that's flowing in your veins. But not for Penelope. She loved such weather making her feel completely numb in those moments of life when you don't want to carry on. Sometimes she wondered if the weather knows that a catastrophic moment is coming to her life and sent rain to soothe her.
Penelope was sitting on a sidewalk in front of her house feeling the rain trying to hide her tears behind the cover of cold droplets hitting her face. Her long blonde hair darkened from the dampness and gently covered her shoulders. She was sitting there trying to hide away from the world, from the person she loves, even from herself. She didn't want the things that were happening but they were unavoidable.
She turned around when she heard footsteps just to see the person she loves more than world. Jake Dunn, her husband, the one who had enough courage to make her Mrs Dunn, the one who would sacrifice himself or the sake of her happiness. And he almost did.
There was this one time when Penelope was dating someone else. That person had an opportunity to leave for Europe and planned to take Penelope with him. She was sure that leaving with him was right despite the feelings she had for Jake. She didn't have the courage to tell him about her feelings and Jake himself rarely showed interest in her. He knew she always dreamed of traveling to Europe with someone she loves and she had the opportunity so Jake never told her what he felt until the day before the flight. He asked her out that evening and simply told her everything he feels.
Jake walked up to her and sat down next to her on the sidewalk. She smiled at him with clear sadness in her eyes. Dunn smiled back to her and tried to hug her but she moved away.
"I don't…" she began saying but didn't manage to continue. The words were meaningless. She couldn't change what was happening. "How many times this will happen? How many times I will sit here on this sidewalk losing you again?"
"You're not losing me, Penelope." he said and sighed. "It's my job, you know that. And I always come back."
"But one day… One day you might not come back. What I will do then? How I will live without you?"
"The way you lived before we met."
"It's not the right time to be joking or be sarcastic, Jake." she said that was really close to shouting. "I miss you so much, Jake. I spend months and months and months without you. I feel lonely."
"I know, Penelope. You mean the world to me and I want to spend all my time with you. But I can't. Military service is military service. You can't just say 'fuck it' and just leave."
She sat there in silence for a few moments to shake off all of the bad thoughts and let him go. "You're right. I have no power over it. And you should go."
Jake moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned closer to him and felt the way she always wanted to feel. She felt loved, his love soothed better than any rain.
"Let's go inside to dry, shall we?" said Jake and as Penelope nodded they walked back home.
Soon they were sitting in front of a cozy fireplace with fresh new clothes and blankets covering their bodies. Penelope cuddled up to Jake putting her head on his chest. She relaxed when Jake gently stroke her hair and kissed her forehead.
"I love you so much, Penelope." he whispered holding her close.
The following morning she woke up in her own bed. Penelope sat up and looked around. The other side of bed was empty. Jake left for his military service. She sighed and got out of bed feeling a little hurt that he didn't say goodbye to her. He always did.
Penelope walked down the stairs to the first floor where the kitchen was since she felt thirsty. Still brooding about Jake and their relationship she walked up to fridge and took orange juice and poured into the glass. She was unaware of her surroundings but felt a really sweet aroma. Once she had her drink Penelope turned around to look for a source of the smell. She walked to the living room to see a bouquet of peonies, her favourite flowers, standing on the table. There was also a letter next to it.
Dear Penelope,
My biggest love, I hope you like the flowers, I know they are your favourites. It's the least that I can do for you, but the best for this moment. I wish I could show you how much I love you; I wish I could give you all of myself. Despite our situation please know that I do this for you, for all of us. You mean the world to me and so I have to protect the one you live in.
Next time I am free from this torture, because it feels like torture when I'm not around you, I will show you how much I love you. I promise I won't make those stupid jokes; I will be less sarcastic and let you choose what we order for dinner on Friday night.
This might not seem like much, but I also know that you love handwritten letters and I guess you also know I am not good at those, but I put my heart to it just for you, darling.
One who will never stop loving you,
Jake
She looked at the flowers and the letter with tears in her eyes. Penelope started sobbing like mad and all she could do was curl up and repeat the same words: "I love you with all your flaws, silly. I love you so much…"
