A/N: This is my first story. I'm sorry if this sucks. Leave me a comment to tell me how to write this better. I have no beta so all mistakes are mine and I am sorry for that. This is pretending that Rose never left or that she did and then came back for more adventures some how. This is a crack!fic

Disclaimer: If I owned Doctor Who Donna would have kept her memories, the Ponds would not have left the Doctor like they did, and River would NEVER have gone to the library so I do not own anything you recognize.


"I make myself. I take your molecules and divide them" says a golden woman with eyes like movable suns as another woman disappears into dust.

"Rose, did you look into the TARDIS again?" says a man with a tweed jacket and cool bow tie as he comes into the control room.

"Yes," says the woman, Rose.

He sighed tiredly, "What did I tell you about doing that? Where is River?"

"I don't know and she left," Rose's golden eyes never wavered or left the man's.

He sighed again, "We are still in flight though."

"She does have a vortex manipulator."

"Rose, I have her manipulator." Rose then notices that he indeed does have River's manipulator and swears mentally at herself for not noticing earlier. "Tell me," his voice brings her back from her thoughts, "did you divide River…again?"

Damn! He caught me. "Maybe…"

His voice takes on a disapproving tone, "Rose, if you are going to continue to be my mistress, you have to stop dividing my wife."

He is looking at her sternly, like a disapproving parent. Those green eyes and floppy brown hair, oh how can she refuse him?

"Fine!" Rose waves her hand and the woman from before is standing there with curly blonde hair and an attitude.

The woman looks at Rose, "I hate it when you do that you know." Then she looks at the floppy haired man, "Hello Sweetie" she says flirtatiously.

The man smiles lovingly at River, "Hello River." Then he looks at Rose, "Rose, I'll see you soon. River, I believe we have a date."

River smiles knowingly and says, "Oh I know we do Sweetie."

Rose rolled her eyes If I did not love this idiot… "Good-bye Doctor, have fun." Rose said suggestively.


A/n 2: Ok I am pretty sure that this sucked…but please leave a review so that I can become better!