Chapter 1
*Knock* *knock*
My mother seemed to be knocking on my door. Before she opened the door I quickly closed the giraffe porn tab – but it was too little too late
What my mother saw nearly made her faint:
It was a video of a giraffe raping a midget (everybody has a fetish). To make things worse, my hand was clasped around my neck.
'ALEX!' she shouted, even though she knew I preferred the name Camel.
'Young lady, I will send you back to home country if you do not lose that boner'
'But mother-' I was interrupted by a slap in the head. This was just like that time in Afghanistan
'SHUT UP! I have a plan to fix this. We will block giraffe pornography on your computer'
She slammed the door – but not before ripping off pictures of necks from my wall. This was the worst birthday ever! #problems
I went to sleep crying that night. Just because I was different, doesn't mean I was odd.
#dickalicious
#swag
