Disclaimer: I do not assume any form of ownership over the characters or movie script borrowed for this story.
Jasper's P.O.V. Emmett & Jasper's 'Mission Annoy Edward'
Emmett burst threw the front door, a massive grin on his face. He had something stuffed up the front of his shirt and was hunched over in an effort to disguise the thin rectangle that strained against the material.
I darted to his side. "You've got it, then?"
The tightly wound anticipation emitting from him was answer enough. "Hell yes! Let's do this."
He grinned wickedly and I smirked back. This was going to be the funniest one yet.
"Give it to me." The flat case quickly exchanged hands. "He's in his room." Emmett's face looked about to split in half he was smiling so wide.
"Don't give us away!" I hissed as quietly as I could. I aimed a blanket of reassurance in his general direction; he rolled his eyes. He was still partially bent over as he barrelled up the stairs, enjoying the cloak-and-dagger atmosphere. As was I.
There was no way of knowing whether Edward had heard our whispered conversation. I sincerely hoped not. I prayed that he was too caught up in listening to the music that was blaring from his speakers upstairs, that he hadn't been aware of what might have been going through Emmett's head a few moments ago: I had warned him to control his thoughts, to not think about our plan directly - I had remembered, hopefully so had he.
I sprang lightly over the back of the sofa to get at the television and the DVD player. I paused to look at the cover art of the box - and burst out laughing. I checked myself quickly, throwing a hand over my mouth. This was going to be absolutely hilarious!
I waited impatiently for the machines to power up, and hurriedly placed the movie disk into the compartment. I noticed with a grin that Emmett had picked up the 'two disk special edition' version, and muffled my chuckles when I tried not to think of the hours of fun ahead of us.
Emmett had turned off Edward's stereo, and was standing in his room. I listened to what he was saying, and was amused by the growing bubble of irritation surrounding the place where Edward was sitting.
Naturally, he wasn't in the best mood, due to Bella's absence, and his annoyance made for a more interesting conversation than usual.
"Emmett, what do you want now?"
"You don't know?"
An impatient sigh. "No, because for some reason that will probably result in myself being either humiliated or embarrassed, Jasper and yourself are going to great lengths to hide your thoughts from me."
Something that was as close to a giggle as Emmett was ever going to get burst from his lips. I propelled a wave of calm up into his side of the room.
"What things you accuse us of. Someday you'll hurt our feelings, so much that we'll just have to do something horrible to you."
Another sigh. "Well, let's get this over with."
A loud guffaw. "That's the spirit, my brother."
I hit the 'route menu' button when the sound of reluctant footsteps reached the landing.
The ongoing clip at the start menu nearly had me doubled up laughing again, but I gritted my teeth and forced a straight face.
"A movie?" Edward's voice held slightly more interest now, and I could feel wary curiosity burning through the exasperation.
I turned around and nodded seriously. Emmett was standing behind Edward at the foot of the stairs, and had his fist stuffed in his mouth to stop himself laughing; I shot him a warning look and enveloped him in a cloud of serenity. Once he appeared more composed, I turned back to Edward.
"Yes. Emmett and I saw it advertised, and we thought it looked just the sort of thing you would enjoy. Don't get the wrong impression, though. It might not seem very mature, but it's a great movie."
He raised an eyebrow, but settled himself in one of the armchairs surrounding the screen. Emmett followed his lead.
I scooted backwards until I was leaning on the arm of a chair across from the one where Edward was sitting, so I could watch his expressions.
The opening scene didn't reveal much, just several deer in a forest - posing as the same one - running towards and away from the camera at various angles, with a female voiceover in the background, and snapshots of human figures among the trees. It closed with a digitally done shot of a man catching the deer as it jumped over a log. I had a fairly good idea of what that was meant to represent, and so did Emmett by the way he was bouncing up and down in his seat, but I didn't think of it; Edward was glancing at us both suspiciously, his mood apprehensive.
I worried vaguely that his attention would be turned from the movie, so I hastily washed them both with a splash of tranquillity.
Edward was beginning to relax, his eyes glued to the screen.
A pale faced teenage girl with dark hair standing alone on a scrubby desert plain, holding a cactus and a trowel. Her expression is thoughtful while she looks absently at the small spiky plant. What is assumed as her voice sounds in the background.
"I can't bring myself to regret my decision to leave home. I would miss Phoenix, -
Edward immediately sat up straighter in his chair. Phoenix was Bella's former home. I defied the muscles of my face as they fought to arrange themselves into a grin.
"- I would miss the heat. I would miss my loving, erratic, hair-brained mother." The girl is still holding the cactus, being embraced by her mother, outside a comfortably sized home, on an otherwise unpopulated street. A man is loading a car with bags, which is parked on the drive.
"And her new husband."
He signals to the two women, "I love you both, but we've got a plane to catch!"
Nothing much happened for another few scenes, so I sneaked a glance at Emmett. The calmness appeared to be working more effectively than before. He was still grinning like an idiot, but no more than that.
Edward, on the other hand, was in need of a stronger dose, it seemed.
The rapidly changing landscape gives way to snow covered mountains and vast pine forests. The name of the movie, Twilight, fades in, then out.
My hands clenched together in anticipation. It couldn't be long now…
The voice over returns.
"In the state of Washington, under a near constant cover of clouds and rain, there is a little town named Forks. Population, three thousand, one hundred and twenty people. This is where I'm moving."
A windscreen shot of the same girl sat in the passenger seat of a car. A older man with a moustache is driving.
"My dad's Charlie. He's the chief of Police."
My eyes were glued to Edward's face, as were Emmett's. Edward's jaw was slack, he was all-out gawking at the screen in disbelief. He had unconsciously leaned forward, his hands gripping the cushions in a way that might prove dangerous for them.
"What is this?" he spluttered.
"Shhh!" Emmett's voice was choked up with laughter. "It gets better."
Clamping my teeth over my bottom lip to keep from smiling, I continued to watch the movie.
The police cruiser the girl's father is driving pulls up outside a whitewashed house, with a muddy drive and wet forest in the background. She gets out of the car, the little cactus still in her hands, and looks up at the house.
"I used to spend two weeks here nearly every summer, but it's been years."
They enter the house and walk straight upstairs, exchanging mumbled conversation.
After a brief few words, the father leaves the girl alone in her room. She stands for a moment.
"One of the best things about Charlie: he doesn't hover."
The sound of voices leads the girl to the window.
Outside are two men of American Indian origin; one roughly sixteen, with long dark hair, the other older and sat in a wheelchair. They are stood with Charlie, next to an old rusted red Chevy. Charlie hails the girl as she joins them.
"Hey Bella, you remember Billy Black?"
Edward sprang to his feet, glaring daggers at both of us. Anger bubbled and spat at me from where he was standing, an uncomfortable pressure in the back of my head. But that did nothing to help the almost hysterical laughs that were coughing out of my chest. Emmett actually fell off his chair he was laughing so hard, his amusement overpowering even Edward's simmering fury.
"What the hell is this?" he spat. The sight of his scowling face made me laugh even more.
"Sit… down, Edward… and… watch the… damn… movie!" I gasped, rolling onto my side so that I couldn't see his face. I made an effort to compose myself, taking several deep breaths. Emmett, beyond help, staggered from the room, his booming laughs echoing off the walls.
"I swear to God, Jasper, if this isn't just another one of your stupid pranks, I'll... I'll..." Edward fumed, struggling to find a harsh enough threat.
I laughed even harder. If he only knew!
When I was in control enough to concentrate again, I sent a soothing mist of peace towards the quivering Edward, still standing stiff with rage.
After half a second, he fell back into his chair, unwillingly accepting the calm for the moment.
I sighed, happy in the knowledge that this would only get better.
Almost the end of the current scene. The younger boy, 'Jacob', and 'Bella' are sat in the cab of the truck. They are talking together.
"Hey - d'you wanna ride to school with me?"
"Oh, I go to school on the reservation."
"That's too bad. It would have been nice to know one person."
The end of the scene.
I waited impatiently for the next good bit that would guarantee a reaction from the silent Edward. I let the swirl of composure surrounding him ease off slightly, trying not to think about it.
Then Emmett re-entered the room, having recovered sufficiently. I gave him a high five as he passed.
Finally, 'Mike Newton' and 'Jessica Stanley' became part of the story line. I allowed Edward to feel the anger that I knew would come, watching this imitation of his former human enemy, trying to impress the impersonation of Bella, after she hit him on the head with a volley ball.
But I wasn't expecting the relief that coursed through him once she had turned away, unimpressed sarcasm obvious in the actress's face.
He was really getting into this. I pursed my lips, trying not to smile.
The resentment returned for the next scene.
'Bella' walks into the shot with 'Mike', to join 'Jessica' and 'Eric Yorkie' at a table in the school cafeteria. 'Mike' offers her a chair.
"Dorito, my friend?" 'Mike' goes to hand 'Eric' something wrapped in foil.
"Hey, Mikey, you met my home girl Bella?"
"Oh, y-your home girl?"
"My girl!" A boy with dark skin and short hair plants a kiss on 'Bella's cheek, before pulling 'Mike's chair from under him. 'Mike' chases the boy out of the cafeteria.
After a small conversation involving 'Bella', 'Eric' and 'Jessica', 'Angela Weber' is introduced into the scene.
'Bella' recommends to 'Angela' that she could do an article on eating disorders and "Speedo padding on the swim team" for the school newspaper.
She looks over her shoulder, then turns back to the girls.
"Who are they?"
The girls look for themselves and answer in subdued voices.
"The Cullens."
A frenzied explosion of humour barked from Emmett's throat. I clamped my hands over my mouth, in case something similar happened to me, and stared at Edward, tightening the belt of poise around him: Edward often broke things when he was angry, and I had a feeling that no one would be very happy if we needed to wait for another TV to be shipped over from Japan before we could watch the news again. His outraged confusion battled against me for a split second, but he soon succumbed.
My attention strayed back to the screen.
"They're the Doctor and Mrs Cullen's foster kids, they moved down here from Alaska, like, a few years ago."
"They kind of keep to themselves."
"Yeah, 'cus there all together, like together together. Dr. Cullen's like this doctor slash match maker." 'Jessica' gossips.
"He could adopt me." 'Angela' says, twining her fingers together and looking wistfully across the table.
A blond woman wearing skinny jeans and a tight fitting jacket weaves between the tables, holding hands with a larger man with black hair and pale skin, and walks past 'Bella' and her friends.
"See the blond girl? That's Rosalie, she's with Emmett, the big guy with dark hair." 'Jess' tells 'Bella'.
"Hah!" Emmett snorted. "Rose would have a fit if she saw this - she'd sue for sure."
"They're like a thing. I'm not even sure that's legal."
"Jess, they're not actually related."
"Yeah, but they live together, it's weird! Right, okay. See the little dark haired girl? That's Alice, she's really weird."
All the amusement drained from my face. What did they know about Alice? Nothing. For an instant I forgot my objection to Edward breaking the television, and considered doing it myself.
But at that moment, I noticed a change in Edward's mood.
He was smiling. Looking away, trying to hide it, but smiling all the same. I fought back a hiss.
"And she's with Jasper, the blond one who looks like he's in pain."
Emmett laughed and reached down to punch me on the shoulder. Edward chuckled reluctantly, shooting a humoured glance at me.
'Bella' looks over her shoulder again.
"Who's he?"
A tall, pale boy with carefully styled hair pushes open the cafeteria door and saunters into the room.
"That's Edward Cullen. Totally gorgeous, obviously, but apparently nobody here's good enough for him."
"Hmmm." Edward had his eyes narrowed and was glowering at the screen.
Emmett hooted with laughter. "Huh, nobody apart from Bella Swan!"
"That guy is pretty gorgeous, though." I pretended to nod seriously.
"Yeah!" Emmett agreed. "Him over you any day." he told Edward, before directing at me, "In fact, we'd better not show this movie to Bella, she'd probably agree with us, and decide she wants to ditch Edward and have that guy instead!"
"Hmph." Edward's eyes were trained on the TV, but I could tell by the arising swell of irritation that he was listening.
"Don't you think he's gorgeous then, Edward?" Emmett asked innocently.
"Surprisingly, no." his answer was almost a growl.
"You have some serious self-esteem issues…" I muttered, shaking my head.
Emmett chuckled. "Ha, good one."
And suddenly, Edward's feelings changed so dramatically, so quickly that it caught me off guard.
A glimmer of pain intertwined with shame and regret danced across the surface of the frustrated outer shell he was encased in.
Had we said something to really offend him? Or was it something from the movie?
My eyes went from his face to the screen and back ten times in a second.
His jaw was taught, his posture tense, and one hand cupped his face to hide his eyes which were fixed on the screen.
I stared at the moving pictures, trying to decipher what could have inspired the hurt.
'Bella' is sitting at a desk in a biology lab, next to 'Edward'.
Her expression is daunted, almost fearful as she sneaks glances at the boy sat beside her.
He is leaning away from her, but his torso is pointing in her direction, and he is obviously glaring at her. Anger is prominent on his face as he glowers, and the more he stares, the more confusion and hurt leaks into the expression of 'Bella'.
Close-ups of his face emphasize the inexplicable fury. His jet black eyes are slits and his brows are pulled together; an image of hostility.
And then it clicked.
The first day Bella and Edward had met. What it had done to him. How it must make him feel now to relive that day, with such a vivid reminder. To see the fear on this fake Bella's face…
The bell rings, and 'Edward' stands up and quickly walks out of the shot, a look of disgust on his face.
