The Wager - Chapter One - Bets in the Death Room
"I have gathered you all here for a very important meeting," proclaimed Lord Death, taking a sip of the coffee he held in his hands. He stared intently at everyone gathered around the table: Professor Stein, Ms. Marie, Sid, and Spirit. The Grim Reaper put down his cup and clapped his hands together excitedly.
"We will be deciding who will chaperone the Valentine's Day Death Dance!" Everyone groaned. The Death Dance was always the longest, wildest dance of the year. No one ever wanted to chaperone. "Ok. This year I am going to mix it up a little. We are going to guess who asks who to the dance, and whoever is right doesn't have to chaperone!"
"Well, this should be interesting," Stein muttered to himself.
"Who are we supposed to be guessing about, Lord Death?" asked Marie politely.
The Reaper snapped his fingers together. "Oh, that's right! I figured that this year, in honor of my own Death Scythe, we will be placing bets on who will be taking Maka Albarn to the dance!"
"WHAT!" screamed Spirit, jaw dropping. "I'll cast my vote right now! No one will be taking my Maka to the dance. She's too good for all of them! I forbid her to go." Spirit got a far away look in his eyes, and he started to tear up a little. "Makaaaaa...don't go with any of those nasty boys. Your daddy's here. He'll protect you!"
Stein chuckled softly. "Right, like you forbidding her to do something has ever affected her in the past."
Spirit slammed his fists on the table? "You want to go, Stein?"
He just smirked, tightening the screw on the side of his head, "Bring it on."
At that moment, Death decided to chirp in with his opinion, "Stein has a point, you know. Maka really doesn't ever listen to what you have to say. In fact, if you forbid her from going, she'll probably make sure to go."
Spirit's jaw dropped, and he started waving his arms around frantically, muttering incoherently about how nobody knew his Maka as well as he did.
"But, if that's your vote, then so be it. Moving on."
"I'll vote for Soul," Stein said, leaning forward onto the table, "Their wavelengths are remarkably compatible. As long as he catches her in a good mood, I'm sure she won't refuse."
"THAT BOY IS A WOMANIZER! HE IS NOT NEARLY GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY MAKA!"
Stein just flashed Spirit another smirk, "So...he's like you then?"
"Stein, I swear if you say one more thing..." Spirit stood up, bumping the table and accidently knocking over Death's coffee cup.
"REAPER...CHOP!" Death yelled, bringing down his hand on Spirit's head, "Spirit, I've had enough of your blathering, so just shut up and listen."
Spirit muttered something unintelligible, massaging the 2-inch dent the Reaper had just put into his head.
The Reaper turned back to the table, looking around at his assembled staff. His eyes landed on the blue-skinned zombie, "Sid, you've been rather quite. Who do you think will ask Maka to the dance?"
Sid took a long sip of his coffee and then placed in down on the table with a definitive nod of his head. "When I was alive," he began, "I used to be rather good at this sort of thing. Figuring out who likes who. I'm sure lots of boys will ask Maka to the dance. But, the question is, who will she say yes to? My guess would also have to be...Soul."
"Ah, ah, ah," the Reaper tutted, wagging his finger. "Stein already bet on Soul. No copying. Try again."
"What?" Sid rubbed his chin, muttering to himself. "I'll have to think this over again. That's the kind of man I was. Always thinking things over. Save me for last, then."
"Alrighty. I guess I'll go next," stated the Reaper. "I choose my son, of course. He is quite the ladies' man, if I do say so myself. He takes after his father."
Spirit, foolishly, decided to speak up again. "Ha. Yeah, right. Like my Maka would ever go anywhere that asymmetrical freak."
"What did you say? REAPER...CHOP!"
Spirit fell to the ground unconscious, blood squirting out of his head.
"Well now that I've taken care of that little problem, let's move on shall we?" Death turned to Ms. Marie. "Now, Marie, who do you think will take Maka to the dance?"
She replied confidently. "Crona."
Stein looked at her incredulously.
"Don't look at me like that, Stein," Marie quipped, glaring back at him. "Crona has already told me that he's been mustering up his courage to ask Maka to the dance. And I tell you what, I think he might have a shot."
Stein just grinned. "Right, like Crona would ever be able to work up that much courage. Besides, what I'm worried about is Ragnarok. Maka might go with Crona, if he asked, but she'd never go anywhere with Ragnarok. She doesn't, as Crona might say, 'know how to deal with it.'"
"Well, then we'll just see, won't we?", Marie replied curtly.
Stein just grunted. Challenge accepted.
"Ok, Sid. It looks like we're back to you."
Sid just stared intently at his coffee cup, talking mostly to himself. "Right. It seems I really only have one choice then. And, as much as I hate to say it, I'm going to have to go with...Black Star," Sid sighed, "I might as well just go buy my tux now, then. At least I'll be able to chaperone in style."
"Ah, yes, that reminds me," Lord Death stood up, looking at each person respectively. "All the chaperones are required to come as couples, to keep up with the spirit of the dance. Alright, you are dismissed. Feel free to try and influence Maka and the others anyway you wish. It'll be sure to keep things interesting. Ok. Tah, tah. Good-bye, now! See ya later!" Death started to wave his large hands ridiculously as Marie and Sid both left the room.
Stein paused by the unconscious Spirit, giving him a good, hard kick in the gut.
"What the hell was that for?" Spirit screamed, jumping up from the floor.
Stein just shrugged. "I was only lending you a hand, or, in this case, a foot." At that point, Stein walked off suddenly, tightening the screw in his head until it clicked. He was muttering something about hand for feet and how he could make that work.
When the Death Room was empty, Lord Death waved Spirit over to him. When he got there, he laid a hand on Spirit's shoulder. "So, Spirit, about finding a date to chaperone the dance with..."
Spirit cut him off with a wave of his hand, "But, I haven't lost the bet yet. I probably won't even need a partner!"
"Riiiight...Well, just in case...I've heard Kami was back in town. And, she's already agreed to volunteer as a chaperone at the Dance!"
Spirit jumped back, his eyes widening. Suddenly, he began to dance around the room, singing extremely off-pitch, "My Kami...my beautiful Kamiiiiiii. My wonderful, beautiful, wonderful Kami has finally come back to me! We'll go to the dance together, and then we'll get some drinks, and then we can go back to my house and..."
With that, blood started to burst out of Spirit's nose, and he passed out on the floor, once again unconscious.
"Oh, my," Lord Death said, tilting his head to the side, "It looks like this is going to be the most exciting Valentine's Day Death Dance ever!"
A/N: Ok, here it is. My first Soul Eater Fanfic. The following chapters will probably be a lot funnier than this one...so read and review, please!
ALSO: Whoever guesses which teacher has choosen the right date for Maka (or if you side with Spirit...the right non-date) will get a special feature in the final chapter. Review with your guess, or PM me if you want to keep it a secret.
Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater. Oh, but the things I would do if I did...
