So this is written to go alongside S5E01 - Bury Your Dead. Enjoy!
'D'ya ever lie to someone you love, Ziva?'
'Yes.'
'They ever forgive you?'
'They never found out.'
Ziva found herself talking on autopilot in response to Tony; he was so sliced up over Jeanne that it was all she could do – be there for him however she could. And for now, that meant talking to him, and investigating as best she could. His green eyes were filled with sorrow and pain, and all Ziva wanted to do was change that, make him as cheerful as he normally was. Without his smile and jokes, life at NCIS was going to be hard; she did not know if NCIS could cope with two people who were lost deep within their own mind. She, as one of these people, had been trained to let feelings float over her and not let them impinge on her when it mattered, but Tony? He lived for feelings, and to see him so broken pained her. He was the person who had been teaching her to feel, had taught her to care despite the deep-set Mossad training. Anyone from her life in Mossad would say she had become soft, and to an extent, she agreed, but when she looked at Tony, she knew she was just learning to be human.
As Ziva walked to the door, about to leave, she paused and watched her partner. He was holding the letter from Jeanne and had sunk to the floor, despair evident on his face. Tony was the cause of many feelings that she learnt to deal with over the past 2 years, but this one trumped annoyance and scheming, it was only beaten by jealousy. But when considered, jealousy was simply a branch from it. It had become crystal clear when Tony was with Jeanne and was ever-present in her, especially at times like these. Ziva David was in love with Anthony DiNozzo. There was no defining moment of creation when it had happened, no spark or shock; she had grown into the emotion. She noticed it when he corrected her English, when he helped her on a case, and she had noticed an undercurrent to their flirting – it was not as jokey as it once was.
And yes, she had lied to someone she loved. She still was, and it was slowly destroying any walls she had built. She still was lying to Tony, and she hated to do it to her partner. But if it salvaged their friendship, then that was the price she would have to pay. She hoped that he never found out the extent of her lying and covering up her love, because that could ruin everything. Equally, she hoped that Tony would be the sort to forgive her, to not take umbrage at her deception.
Hope that wasn't too bad. Am still trying to get into NCIS-writing mode. Only my second NCIS fic, and there will be a longer one coming at some point!
Please review - I live off them, and I need as much concrit/help as I can get =)
Thanks, Woody2792x
