Hello sweeties,

so this is my first Destiel fic. It takes place in 8x08 during one scene where I just had so many feels that I had to write it different. Lets just say, Sam is five minutes later than in the episode.

I would love reviews

Enjoy :)


Dean sat in front of his laptop, searching for a possible explanation for the weird stuff they saw today. Cas sat on the bed, reading the journal of John Winchester. He looked at through pages. He couldn't suppress it any longer, and he couldn't bear with the silence in the room, so he said the first thing that came to his mind: „Your father... beautiful handwriting."

He turned the page. From the corner of his eye he could see how Dean turned his head towards him and he felt the hunter's eyes on him.

„How are you feeling Cas?"

The question filled Cas with heat, but it was a nice heat. He risked a short glance into Dean's direction, acting like everything was alright.

„Fine", he answered, turning another page without even paying attention to the things written in the journal. He could just thing about the warmth Dean's voice caused inside his belly. That feeling was weird. He felt weird in Dean's presence since he got out of Purgatory. He didn't know why, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to know.

„Well, it's just, when I got puked out of Purgatory it took me a few weeks to find my bearings."

„I'm fine", Cas repeated himself. He couldn't let Dean worry about him.

„I'm happy you back, I'm freaking thrilled, it's just this whole mysterious resurrection thing, always has one mother of a downside."

Cas closed the book. He wasn't reading anyways. Everything he could think about was Dean's soft voice in his ears.

„So, what do you want me to do?"

„Maybe take a trip upstairs"

„To heaven?" Cas didn't liked that idea, but he would discuss it with Dean, just to have a reason to look into those eyes. He knew that wasn't right, but in contrast it felt so right.

„Yeah, poke around, see if the guys squat can tell us how you got out."

„No"

A little laugh escaped Dean. He looked at his hands „Look man, I hate those flying ass-monkeys just as much as you do, but.."

Cas interrupted him „Dean! I said no!" He loved the sound of the name Dean on his lips.

With one movement Dean shut his laptop and came over, sitting down on the opposite bed. Cas' heart jumped in his chest, beating faster in excitement.

Dean clapped his hands, looked in his eyes „Talk to me."

„Dean I..", Cas turned, looked directly at Dean, „When I was... bad, I had all those things, Leviathans, inside me. I caused a lot of suffering on earth, but I devastated heaven, I vaporized thousands of my own kind, and I, I can't go back."

„Cause if you do the angels will kill you.."

„Because if I see what heaven has become, what I", he took a deep breath, „what I made of it, I'm afraid I might kill myself."

Cas could see the feelings these words caused inside Dean. He looked hurt, so hurt and sad.

„Cas, you, you need to promise me that you won't kill yourself." Dean's voice was quiet and he couldn't look into Cas' eyes.

„Why?"

„Because... because I wouldn't manage it to lose you once more. It, it would kill me." With the last word, the hunter caught Cas' eyes with his. Watched deep inside them, and Cas got the feeling, that in this very moment the hunter was able to look inside him.

He looked straight into Deans eyes and said those few words: „I will stay, but I will stay only for you." Cas regretted saying this immediately. He shouldn't have done this, it wasn't right. But Dean seemed to see that different. In his eyes formed a tear, it rolled down his cheek as he started to move. He carefully took Cas' hand into his, holding it. „Thank you", he said.

Those two simple words were everything Cas needed. He couldn't take it any longer. He leaned in, moved closer to the hunter and pressed his lips on Dean's.

Dean was surprised about the sudden kiss, but he loved it. Cas had obviously never kissed someone before, but he had a natural talent. Dean answered the kiss, slowly and carefully. He wanted to give Cas all the time he needed. He raised his hand and laid it on the cheek of the angel, feeling his warm skin against his fingers and the lips against his own. His eyes were closed.

Suddenly Cas moved back, stopping the kiss. He looked into Deans eyes, still having he hunters hand on his cheek. „Do you really want this?"

Dean couldn't do anything else but smiling. He started to move his thumb about the angel's cheekbone. „I've wanted this so long." He pulled Cas closer, their lips crashing together, this time with more passion.

Dean moved his tongue along Cas' lips. The angel responded and opened them, letting Dean deepen the kiss. Cas could feel Deans tongue inside his mouth, exploring it , moving along his teeth. A small moan escaped him. He had never experienced such a thing and he just loved it.

Dean's hand moved on Cas' neck, pulling him closer. He stood up, still kissing Cas, and joined Cas on the other bed. They sat now next to each other, still kissing.

The hunter moved closer to the angel, pressing him down on the bed. His hands started to explore the body beneath him, moving other Cas' chest, still very careful. Cas let his own hands wander over Dean's back, feeling the mussels under his fingertips, how they moved while Dean touched him.

Suddenly Cas stopped and broke the kiss. „Sam is coming."

Dean nearly jumped off the bed, while Cas sat up again.

„We won't tell him a single word Cas, understand?", Dean said, quickly leaning in for a short last kiss.

„Okay.", Cas said the second the door opened and Sam rushed in.