Summary: Juvia's affections continues to be unrequited, but Gray does not give up on trying to love her.

Pairing: Gruvia (Gray x Juvia)

Author's Note: Songfic, oneshot. I'm not sure how I ended up with this story structure, but I think it works anyway lol. No plot, just comfort and little fluff. Please read, review, and check out my other FT stories and oneshots!


"Do you love me?"

I can't get these damn words out of my head. I panicked at that word.

Love.

Juvia was talking in first person, and all I could think of was what she was upset about; it must have been bad enough to get her like that.

I'd never seen her stare at me so intensely. Her eyes weren't full of joy like they usually are on a sunny day. They weren't glowing radiance like they do when she's running to me after not seeing me for days. They weren't blinking passion, or burning fires. And they weren't lustful like they are at 2 AM on her bed.

In that instance when she had asked me, I opened my mouth to speak, yet no words came out. I wanted to say, "Yes! Of course I do, Juvia!", but nothing came out. I felt myself straining my throat trying to force the words out and she had noticed. That was the last time I saw her blue eyes so bright.

Juvia looked to the floor, disappointed. She just wanted a reassurance of my love for her; but I couldn't give it to her. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't tell her I loved her back. But I wish I could; I really do, because I would give anything to have her back.

Then, she had left. Juvia began to silently weep before she turned her back to me and walked away with one measly word.

'Goodbye.'

I grabbed her wrist, still wondering where this even came from, and she refused to look at me in the eyes. "Juvia, where are you going? I don't understand.."

"Do you love me?" she repeated, crying into her arm and refusing to look at me still. Juvia wore a frown and began to cry more, and I knew nothing I would do, or say would get her to stop.

Again, I tried forcing the words out to no avail.

She pushed the tears off her face and clenched her fists, pulling her wrist out of my hold. She furrowed her eyebrows and clenched her eyes shut for a few seconds to control her falling tears. Juvia held back the hiccups that were waiting to be released, and shook her head at me. I couldn't stop looking at her, like the answer would appear on her face. But it was an answer I already knew; and I guess she had known before I did.

"This is our answer. Goodbye, Gray," Juvia muttered under her breath and she walked away, her hair bouncing against the wind.

That was the last day I saw that head of vibrant, azure hair, and the last day I saw her so down and upset. And I wish to this day it wasn't the last, and I hadn't been the reason for her sadness. I wish I could love her enough so that she'd never even know what sadness was, but I can't do that for her, because I don't feel what she feels.

I wish I did, and that I could tell her so I can start mending her heart back together. But I don't, and I can't force myself to. I want to love her so bad.


It's been about two months since I last really made any contact with her. She's been avoiding me at the guild. Whenever she sees me walk in, she would immediately leave the room. Juvia won't respond to my waves or hellos, and she hasn't looked at me since then. I can't get through to her. I'm trying so hard. I guess this must have been what it was like for her, to be at the end of the other side, waiting, hoping, and wishing for something to happen; waiting for me to love her. Man, this hurts.

I miss her.

I need to talk to her, and be able to ask her how she is, and what she has been doing. I need to know that she is still taking her medication everyday at the same time, and that she always has an umbrella with her since I can't be there anymore to hold one over her. I want to know if she still loves me. I need Juvia; I need her only, and all of her.

I slipped Juvia a note under her apartment door this morning. I hope it's enough to get her to come here. I asked her to meet me here at the beach, at the spot where we always sat after swimming in the ocean, just to watch the sunset. This always was her favorite place in the world. Here, and my arms, she had once said, with the most exhilarating smile. If only she could return to them too. But she will not allow herself; yet they're still open to her. They always will be.

It's almost 5pm, and I'm still digging my feet in the sand, eagerly waiting to hear the soft sound of footsteps come up from behind me. The sun normally came down a few minutes after 5pm. I know Juvia wouldn't miss the sun setting – she hasn't missed a day watching the sun go down since she first saw it with me.

Maybe, she really wasn't coming. Maybe, she was really over me. Maybe, I had hurt her too much this time. And if she doesn't want to see me, I guess I can't say that it wasn't my fault. I'm so inconsiderate. And I'm so selfish; if I had been selfish for the both of us from the beginning, she would be here with me right now, watching the sun return home in her own home, which is in my hold where she belongs.

Minutes pass, and the shadows begin to cast down on the shore and the skies slowly darken from a cerulean blue to darkness. Juvia was like day itself, and she was my light. She always did say that her eyes were the color of the skies during day, and mine were the skies during night; that's why she believed we were perfectly balanced and made for each other. I used to think that was kinda stupid, but lately all I see is darkness in all shades, and I miss the light in my life; it was always her.

I laid down and looked up to see that the stars were already coming out for the night. It was getting late; Juvia would not show. As much as I had hoped, I would not plead her guilty, nor the victim. Who am I, to have such high expectations of her and us still.

There was a shadow lurking over me, and I looked over to see Juvia standing over me, with no apparent emotion on her face. We stared at each other for a few seconds, but then she sat before laying down about two feet away next to me. She crossed her hands on her stomach, and gazed up at the stars with me. We haven't done this in so long.

"'I'm sorry that I miss you like you were still mine'."

Juvia turned her head towards me with a raised eyebrow. Those words I had written were enough to get her to come here, but what would make her stay?

"Does Gray-sama really?" she asked, a question raised in her voice. Juvia's skepticism hurt, but how could I say that when I couldn't confirm it.

"Yes. But I want to miss you because you are mine."

The air became icy and the skies faded to darkness by the minute. The sun was disappearing, and so was she. I want her to stay. She can't leave again. I'll never know what it's like to have this feelings again.

She spoke, "Juvia will always miss Gray-sama. Every day, in every lifetime."

There was no change of tone in her voice, nor did she look at me still after that. I feel like she's drifting further and further away from me, yet here she was, two feet away. What do I do?

"Would you fall in love with me still then?" I asked, hopeless.

Juvia hesitated for a few seconds. The silence was eerie. The sounds of crashing waves filled my ears, waiting for her answer and the settling darkness almost made me lose sight of her. I couldn't lose her – not again.

"Every time," Juvia answered, looking towards me again, and this time I couldn't help but to look back at her.

Her eyes weren't the same. They weren't the same bright blue eyes they once were. I'd do anything to bring back her color. She used to see everything in vivid colors, and she used to see me in colors that didn't exist. I'd never be able to love her as much as she loves me.

I refused to turn away from her, carving this last image of her into my memory. "Would you still, even if I didn't love you back?"

Juvia swallowed and her lips quivered. That's when I knew that her biggest fear was rejection, and I was doing this to her. I'm such a terrible person.

"If Juvia can be with you, if Juvia can see you, if Juvia can love you...that's enough for her. Even if Gray-sama will never return those feelings," the corner of her lips curved slightly into a small smile, and she turned away from me again back up to the skies. The sun had set, and the air grew colder.

I gazed upon her face before I looked away. She's really more beautiful than I last saw her. The moon's light reflecting on the water's reflection illuminated her pale skin, and brought light back into her gaze. What did I do to ever deserve her in any way? I'd give up my life to return her love. She was light, and the darkness; the sun, and the moon.

"Juvia, I-"

I would have said something desperate and impulsive if I hadn't felt Juvia slip her fingers into mine. She was so warm, her skin like a porcelain doll. I craved her. I missed her.

Juvia closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. She often did this to focus on the ocean's waves and to relax. All I could do was follow, and I shut my eyes, tightening our intertwined hands' grip. She did not refuse me and I could feel myself weaken by the second.

"Are you afraid to fall in love with me?"

I found myself not being able to answer again. She reverted to speaking in first person, and the tension in the air grew immensely.

"Is it because I remind you of the days you've hidden in your heart?"

Did I know the answer to these questions, or was I simply not able to answer them? All I could do was look up, then back down at her, wordless. I'd give her all the answers she wanted to know if I could.

She almost whispered then, "It's okay. Because when you learn, I'll be here, waiting. As long as it takes."

She had tightened our hands when she could feel my hand shivering. It felt so cold. How was that possible for me?

But whatever she wanted, I would do anything for her. Just so she could feel my love. But I couldn't return it genuinely. Not right now. That made me sad to know; and she was an even sadder girl, alone.

"One day, when you find peace, and you know you're ready, I'll make explosions, and we'll find each other again."

Explosions.

Why couldn't I love Juvia. She was always one step away, and in my thoughts, mind, heart, yet I couldn't give myself to her. I'm so damn selfish. I wanted nothing more than for her to have all of me.

I closed my eyes for awhile, feeling her thumb brush against the back of my hand. She was someone I didn't deserve in any lifetime.

"We were never in love." My chest ached spitting out these truthful words. I wanted nothing for for this to be wrong.

I then heard her sniffle. She silently wept to herself, yet still with the most serene smile on her face. I couldn't look at her anymore. This was my fault.

"I'm sorry. We could have been in love."

I've never felt Juvia hold me so tightly. I was only inches from her, yet we both knew how far from each other we really were.

"No, we couldn't have. You know that," Juvia chuckled lightly, "not in this life. I can't get you to love me. But you will learn."

She'd never give up on me. I wish I could love her unconditionally. I want nothing more than for her place of home to be with me.

"How do you know?" I asked, gazing at the twinkling star ahead of me. My thumb caressed her skin like I would never feel it again. And maybe I wouldn't.

"Because I know we will find each other another time. And I'll love you then. And then maybe, just maybe then, you could love me too?" Juvia's hair fell from hair face onto the sand when she looked to me. Her eyes were pleading, begging me for my affection. I can't and I feel a pit in my stomach. If I could rip open my chest and give her my heart, I'd do that for her.

"I'd give my eternity just to get the chance to love you."

Tears streamed down her cheeks and all she did was smile at me so happily, like her heart wasn't broken. I'd do anything to make her smile genuinely again – apparently anything, but love her.

"Juvia knows," she said quietly, her tone accepting my confession.

We laid in silence a bit longer and she still didn't mind my touch. I wanted her longer, forever maybe even. We both stared up at the sky, and I didn't want this to ever end.

"The moon is so bright. Juvia is glad she can see it with you. And Juvia will always be glad that she got the chance to fall in love with you."

Me too. We could see it every day, together, at the same time. And I'll accept your love, and we could do this and more, if we were in love. And maybe then, in another life, we could be. I'll feel your explosions all at once in that moment, and I'll know. For now, all I can do is hold you and wish that we could have fallen hopelessly for each other – or at least, that I could do all the loving for the both of us, to make up for all the last lifetimes. I'll love you another time, Juvia Lockser.