Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.
There's nothing more freeing than giving your blood, bones, skin, thoughts, words, heartbeat, and breath to just one thing. To direct all you've got, all your energy, every scrap of your being, to one ideal, with every other minor concern in your life to be weighed against it in terms of importance. To never let that one thing be put at risk, despite how it may force you to sacrifice your dreams or your plans or your future.
It's even better when that one thing is a person.
Arthur often speaks of destiny, always in those rare moments before a tournament or melee where he isn't completely positive he'll come back. Generally he does so in the context of claiming I could never understand the pressure of having one. He doesn't know, and, as infuriating as it can be, in the end I can't really blame him. If he knew all that I knew he probably wouldn't be able to handle it. His destiny is enough for him. I certainly can't imagine having the weight of all of Camelot on my shoulders.
I supposed, indirectly, I do. But for me that only comes down to one thing: protect Arthur every day, every night, every hour, with all I've got, even if all else fails.
It seems confining, and for a long time I thought it was and I resented it. Why don't I deserve my own life, for instance? Or, if I must dedicate my life to someone, why does he have to be such a prat? So do I just never get to have a family or a bloody hobby? Eventually, though, saving him over and over again (while getting absolutely no credit for it) showed me otherwise.
Because it means that, for me, nothing gets to be more important than protecting Arthur with everything I've got, with the last breath in my body. I don't have to worry about morality, although I do. I don't have to worry about Gwen or the King or anyone else, although I can't help it. The one and only thing in my existence that I am obligated to care about is Arthur. And I do. More than I can even describe.
My one and only true duty is to make sure Arthur gets on his throne when the time comes. His peace of mind, happiness, and whatever else is secondary, as long as he can fulfill his destiny of being the greatest king to ever live. It doesn't get much simpler.
As soon as I accepted that, it became my greatest pleasure. Now, I find myself acting to help him, not because I know I must, but because there's truly nothing I want more. I've done incredible, unbelievable things to save his life, and it's because I'm happy to do it and I run straight ahead without deliberation, without hesitation.
When the thing you want most happens to be the thing that is also your destiny, your destiny doesn't feel restrictive at all. And all I have to do, forever, is protect Arthur with every ounce of my blood, every bone in my skin, every thought in my head, every word on my lips, every beat of my heart, and every breath in my lungs.
Conveniently, there's absolutely nothing I'd rather do.
