Disclaimer: Bleach is the property of Kubo-sama.
Horizontally Challenged
"You're so thin!" Rangiku exclaims.
Izuru frowns (even more than usual). "I. . . am?"
"Yes!" Rangiku continues. "I mean, compared to Renji or Ikkaki – heck, compared to Yumichika – you're as skinny as a twig!"
Momo smiles slightly from her position beside Renji. "Rangiku-san, he's not that bad." She sneaks a look at Izuru. "Not compared to Yumichika-san. . ."
Renji crosses his arms. "Yeah. He's even worse!" He grabs Izuru's arm and pulls the sleeve upwards, exposing the lean limb underneath. "Look! All skin and bones!"
The buxom Lieutenant nods. "It's like being vertically-challenged, only sideways."
"Horizontally-challenged," Renji chortles.
Izuru sits up straighter. "I am not horizontally-challenged!" He winces.
Rangiku snorts. Renji laughs. Momo stifles a giggle.
"I'm not!"
Renji pats Izuru's back. "You keep telling yourself that. Wanna train with me and Ikkaku? I'll bet we can get you at least on par with Shuuhei by the time we're done with you."
"But. . ."
"Take up the offer, buddy," Rangiku advises. "We need you all buffed up. The SWA's thinking of doing another calendar."
Izuru's eyes widens. "A-another. . . calendar?"
"Mmhmm." Rangiku stands up. "You weren't so bad last time, but there was definitely room for improvement."
Momo looks at Izuru sympathetically.
"Fine," Izuru mumbles, shoulders sagging. "Not like I have a choice, right?"
Renji laughs again.
End
Random. . . I wrote this in an effort to ward off writer's block.
This was a nice practice for writing in present tense. . .
