Me: Hello world and all who inhabit it! For those of you who don't know me, I am QueenOfTheYaoi!

Axel: And for those of you who do know her, disregard the previous message!

Me: Gah! Axel! What're you doing here?

Axel: I got bored. You should write more stories starring me.

Riku: What? She writes enough stories with you! We all know you're her favorite!

Axel: Jealous, Riku?

Demyx: (pout) I thought I was her favorite…

Zexion: As did I.

Riku: Zexion, you're too emo to be anyone's favorite, let alone hers.

Zexion: You have no room to talk.

Leon: …Wasn't I her favorite?

Saix: Enough! Mindless bickering won't solve anything! …Besides, you all know she loves me.

Xigbar: As if, Scar face! (everyone fights)

Me: -.-'

Xemnas: This is rather sad to watch. May I stop it?

Me: Sure, knock yourself out. And maybe a few of them in the process, I swear I'll look the other way.

Xemnas: (smirk) If you all want to know which of you is her favorite so bad, why not ask her?

Everyone: …

Zexion: Why didn't I think of that?

Axel: Yeah, that makes more sense than fighting about it. So, Michelle-sensei? Who is it? (everyone stares)

Me: (glares at Xemnas) u-um…My favorite is…uh…Oh, I think my fanfic is still in the oven, bye! (I run off)

Everyone: …It's still me! (fighting continues)

Xemnas: You're all hopeless…wait, I thought I was her favorite.

"Hey, Axel?" Axel looked up from the book, the edges of which were singed from the pyro trying to entertain himself.

"Yes, Roxy?" Roxas sighed. He hated that nickname with a passion.

"I was just wondering…who was your Somebody?" Axel raised an eyebrow at the random topic. Most of the nobodies had known each other as Sombodies, and therefore didn't need to ask. Roxas hadn't been part of anyone's life and didn't remember his time as a Somebody, but was informed that a Nobody's past was a rather…private and sensitive subject.

"…Why?" Roxas shrugged.

"Just curious. No one here ever talks about their past." Axel nodded.

"Fine, come with me." Axel stood and walked away, Roxas following. The blonde asked questions on the way there.

"What was his name?" Axel smirked.

"Promise not to laugh?"

"…Maybe." The redhead sighed.

"My true name is Lea. Yes, I know, it sounds like a girl's name, but Lea was indeed a boy." Roxas laughed as silently as he could, but Axel still heard him. He rolled his eyes at the shorter boy. "Oh, shut up…"

"Haha, that's rich!" Roxas took deep breaths until the urge to laugh at his friend had gone away. "Did he look like you? Err…do you look like him?"

"Pretty much. His hair was shorter. And spikier."

"Spikier?" The taller nodded.

"Believe it or not. But besides that, we look basically the same." He opened the door to his room and walked inside. He pointed to the bed. "Sit." The redhead started rummaging through his drawers.

"Hmph…I'm not a dog…" He complained, but sat anyway. Axel rolled his eyes and pulled something out of a drawer before shutting it again. He handed it to Roxas, who stared at it. It was a photo of two boys. One boy had red, spiky hair. His arm was around the other boy's neck and he was smiling and flashing the peace sign. The other boy had oddly styled blue hair. He was holding the redhead's arm in place and smiling, although not as big. The blue haired boy looked as if the redhead had pulled him into the picture. "This was you? As Lea? How old were you here?" Axel thought for a minute.

"I must've been about…thirteen." A realization hit Roxas.

"Axel, how old were you when you became a Nobody?"

"…Fourteen, why?"

"You look so much older than Lea…" Axel grunted.

"Are you calling me old?"

"Wait, what? N-no!"

"Hmph…" Axel stormed out of the room.

"Overly sensitive perverted pyromaniac." ((Axel: Hey! Roxas: ~innocent smile~)) This used to be Axel. That much was obvious. But…why did Axel look older than Lea when they're both technically fourteen? Hmm…I bet one of the scientists would know… His mind flickered to Vexen and Zexion. Vexen, being antisocial, wouldn't be a very good person to ask. Unfortunately, Zexion was pretty antisocial himself. ((Zexion: Excuse me? Vexen: We're not antisocial, goddammit!)) He would need an excuse before he could get into the library. Well…he needed an excuse to get into the library, without getting kicked out. Roxas looked around the room. His eyes rested on the book Axel had been fondling with. One corner was still smoldering. The blonde stood up and grabbed the book, blowing out the baby flame. Perfect.

Roxas sighed. The walk to Zexion's library usually isn't that long. Five minutes. Not even worth summoning a portal for. Now he regretted not using that portal as he came face to face with a dead end. He'd gotten lost. How the hell do you get lost on your own turf? Another discontented sigh followed by a shiver as a hand laid on Roxas's shoulder. He gulped.

"No means no, Marluxia, so go away."

"Are you comparing me to that…effeminate rapist? Rather rude, XIII." A strong voice came from behind him, one that was definitely not Marluxia's. It sounded more like… He turned and found his hunch to be correct. Saix.

"Oh, Saix. I didn't know it was you, sorry." Saix nodded.

"It's fine. Might I ask why you are walking about the castle?" Most of the nobodies stayed in their rooms when they weren't eating a meal or training.

"Axel borrowed one of Zexion's books. I guess he didn't like it because he started burning it." The blonde held the book up for him to see.

"And you were heading to the library to return it to him before Axel turned it to ashes?"

"Yeah, but I guess I took a wrong turn somewhere." Roxas hung his head. Saix smirked.

"Number VI's library is back down this hall. Take the first left and the third door down should lead you to him."

"Thanks."

"You keeping Axel out of trouble is thanks enough." Saix summoned a portal and began to walk through, only to be pulled back by his wrist. He stared at the blonde. Nobody, or at least nobody smart, dared touch him. Roxas had just noticed striking similarities between his superior and the second boy in Axel's picture. He pulled the picture out of his jacket and handed it to the Diviner.

"Are you the other boy in this picture?" Saix's eyes went wide. Saix, calm, stoic Saix, showed emotion. Damn, hell must be freezing over.

"Where did you get this? You haven't been raiding my room, have you?"

"From Axel. You have one, too?" Shocking Roxas still, his lips curved into an unconscious smile.

"Yes…This was Axel and I when we were young…When I was known as Isa and he was known as Lea. This picture is one of the few remnants of my past I found. I remember it was printed twice, one for each of us. I can't believe he kept it…"

"You two knew each other before?" Saix nodded.

"We did. We had been best friends since we were children. Hard to believe, seeing as we fight more than anything now. In fact, I can't remember anything from before that doesn't involve him and that spiky red hair of his." The blonde raised a curious and confused eyebrow.

"But…I thought nobodies wanted to forget their pasts and start new."

"Many of us do. Although there is a thing or two from my past that's worth holding onto." Saix laughed a bit. Yup, hell is definitely freezing over. "Lea and his antics being one of them."

"'antics'?"

"Yes, antics. But stories of Axel's past idiosyncrasies will have to wait." Saix returned the picture, smile still on his lips. "You should go return the book to Zexion. I think I'd like to have a 'chat' with our resident pyromaniac." I nodded.

"Don't kill him." A "chat", in Saix language, was hardly ever an actual conversation. It usually meant something physical. And honestly, he couldn't see Axel out-muscling the berserker anytime soon.

"Your companion will still be in tact when I'm done, I swear." Saix wasn't one for dishonesty. One of the many things he was respected for. Although he was also known for being a bit manipulative. Contradicting, isn't it? Roxas decided to believe him.

"Let's hope so." Saix walked through the portal he'd never bothered to close when Roxas jerked him back. The shorter noticed a gleam in Saix's eyes that looked almost…mischievous? Oh crap. ((Saix and Axel: … Saix: ~evil smirk~ Axel: …I feel the need to run…)) He made a mental note to ask Axel about said chat when this was all done. The vortex closed with a hiss. "Now…Where did he say to go? Shit…" A sweat drop rolled down the back of the blonde's head as he walked down the hallway again.

After another half hour of walking, wondering what Axel and Saix were doing, and random bits of cursing at nothing in particular out of annoyance for his own forgetfulness, he finally made it to the library. He knocked gently and listened for voices.

"Come in." He heard a quiet voice say. The blonde opened the door, peering inside. He saw a boy with periwinkle hair curled up on a lounge chair. Next to him was a cup with some kind of tea in it. In his hands was one of the thickest books Roxas had ever seen. "XIII, come in means to enter the room and shut the door behind you. It does not mean stand in the doorway and stare blankly at the back of my head." The blonde turned faint pink.

"Right, sorry." He walked in the library and shut the door behind him. He walked in Zexion's direction, taking a minute to marvel. The library was huge, with millions of books held on dozens of white shelves. He briefly wondered how many of these books the blue haired boy had actually read. He stood in front of the schemer.

"I'm assuming you're here for more reading material." Yes, Zexion said more reading material. Roxas had been here several times before, in fits of boredom. Zexion had promptly handed him a fiction novel and sent him on his way. The blonde had found he actually enjoyed reading fiction. From then on, the taller library goer had kept a few fiction books nearby for Roxas if he ever popped in. They had shared the quietness of the library several times, but this was the first time words had been exchanged.

"How'd you know it was me?"

"You're the only one who bothers knocking. A fact I appreciate, by the way."

"Oh. Well, no, I'm not here for a new novel today. I'm rescuing a book." Zexion peered up from the edge of his book.

"Rescuing a book? From what, exactly?" He held the book out for his superior to see.

"From the impatient book murderer we know as number VIII." Zexion closed his book and took the thinner one from the younger.

"What has he done?"

"He got the book to read it but got bored and found other uses for it. One of which was apparently firewood." The older closed his eyes and ran two fingers over the charred pages. Roxas watched as the pages fixed themselves under his touch.

"How'd you do that?"

"Let's just say I've developed a…connection with the books here. They're easy for me to fix. And with Saix losing self-control when the moon is full, and Demyx accidentally flooding the place every few years, and Axel…well, it's Axel. You understand." The blonde nods.

"Yeah, I get it. Speaking of Axel and Saix, I had a question."

"A question that only I would have the answer to?"

"Well, you or Vexen, but I'd prefer you over him." ((Zexion: Ha. Vexen: Am I that unapproachable?))

"Ah. Okay, ask and I'll see what I can help with." Roxas handed the picture to the blue haired boy, who took it and held his bangs to the side to get a better look. The blonde watched his eyes as they scanned the picture. Zexion had nice eyes. Deep midnight blue that, despite his claims that Nobodies cannot feel, always seemed to sparkle with a childish curiosity. How old had Zexion been when he became a Nobody? He had been younger than eighteen, the blonde knew that, but the actual age was a mystery. As was the rest of the blue haired boy's past. He had bits and pieces about everyone's past, except his. Was he hiding a shameful past or something? Possibilities swirled in Roxas's head. He didn't hear Zexion calling him. The taller shook his shoulder, out of characterly making physical contact.

"XIII!"

"Huh? Oh, sorry, what?"

"This picture. Who's it of?"

"Oh, um…It's Saix and Axel, kind of. Before they were Nobodies." Zexion cringed. Cringed! Nothing makes Zexion cringe! Said Nobody pinched the bridge of his nose in what Roxas assumed was annoyance.

"So this question of yours, it doesn't involve my past, does it?"

"It involves everyone's, sort of. When someone becomes a Nobody, they stop growing and aging, right?" The schemer was still pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Correct."

"Look at the picture and compare it to current day Saix and Axel. If we stop growing and aging, how come they both look older than their Somebody?" Zexion swung his legs so he was sitting correctly in the chair.

"That is an excellent question…"

"So excellent, you don't know the answer to it?" Zexion sighed. He wasn't fond of admitting he didn't know something.

"No, actually, this one I don't…" He stood up and summoned a portal. "I'll consult with Vexen and see if we can develop a hypothesis." The blonde smiled at him and nodded.

"Okay, thanks."

"Of course. You should ask me questions more often, if they can lead to possible breakthroughs."

"Can I ask one more? It won't lead to breakthroughs, I'm just curious."

"I don't see why not, ask away."

"Can you tell me about your past?"

"Beg pardon?"

"Your past. You never talk about it. Will you tell me about it?" Zexion's eyes shut and he pinched the bridge of his nose again. The palm of his hand failed to cover the smirk that had appeared on his lips.

"Curious one, aren't you? Curiosity killed the cat."

"Heh, listen to your own advice." The smirk grew into a smile that Zexion tried and failed to hide.

"…Fair enough. I'll tell you about my past, but now isn't the time."

"And that time will be?"

"After I return with a sensible answer to your first question."

"Fine. Hurry and find the answer then."

"I'll see what I can do." Zexion ruffled the blonde's spiky locks, again being very uncharacteristic. Roxas sighed contently. The fact that the blue haired boy was starting to come out of his bubble that contains nothing but him, his books, and his research was strangely comforting.

"See you later, number VI."

"Yes, 'see you later' too, Roxas." He walked through the portal that most likely led to the laboratory or Vexen's room. Roxas smiled inwardly. Zexion said his name. Zexion never said anyone's name. He said their number instead. But he'd said his actual name. That was a first. And a definite sign that Zexion's bubble had popped and was now oozing out books and lab equipment.

Roxas walked into the white room that Demyx called "the room that never should have been". The only reason Demyx hated the room so much is because that's where Saix assigned missions. He looked down as he walked, a warning sign that said 'I'm thinking, bug me and die' that no one picked up on. Either that or they ignored it. The room was surprisingly full today, with the exception of Axel, Saix, Zexion, and Vexen. Luxord patted his shoulder.

"You okay there, love?" Roxas didn't jump at the touch. He'd gotten used to being interrupted.

On the other hand, he wasn't used to being interrupted by a tall, British man that can out drink Jack Sparrow and should really check into Gamblers Anonymous.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a bit confused." Xaldin, being nosier than usual, walked up.

"About?" Roxas felt a drop of sweat roll down his face as everyone turned to him.

"Well, you know how we all look somewhat like our Somebody?"

"Somewhat?" That came from Marluxia, who looked basically exactly the same as his Somebody.

"I was wondering how come when we become Nobodies, we end up looking older than our Somebody."

"An interesting topic, XIII. I hadn't noticed, but you're correct." Xemnas's deep voice filled the room.

"The way I see it, none of us actually know how old we are. Just guesses based on how we look and how old we were."

"Yes, interesting, but do you have a point?" Larxene looked at her nails, uninterested with the current conversation.

"I was trying to figure out which of us is the oldest and who's the youngest." The room fell silent for a minute. Xigbar laughed.

"Isn't it obvious? Xemy is the oldest and you're the youngest, kiddo." Xemnas stood up

"You truly believe I am the oldest here? Your ponytail has gray in it! And don't call me that ridiculous nickname."

"My hair is sexy! And yours is all gray!"

"No, My hair is silver. As in shiny. Yours is dull. Gray hair."

"Hell no, You're the oldest, not me. And Roxas is the youngest." Xemnas and Xigbar glared at each other in silence. Marluxia raised one of his perfectly waxed eyebrows.

"I think Demyx is the youngest. He's just tall."

"What? I don't want to be the youngest! How can I be the youngest? I have my freakin' eyebrow pierced!"

"One piercing doesn't mean much." Larxene pulled her shirt up, revealing a bellybutton piercing. "Got that done when I was ten."

"Yeah, but you're psycho!" Electricity crackled in Larxene's palms.

"What did you call me, mister hippie hair and music?"

"Psycho!" Demyx was truly tempting fate. And fate got to him. Larxene glared at him as if looks alone would kill him. Demyx suddenly feared for his non-life. He stood and backed up, Larxene taking steps forward to mirror him. "U-um…AAAAH!" Demyx ran.

"GET BACK HERE, HIPPIE!" Larxene followed. Everyone in the room, with the exception of numbers I and II who were still glaring knives at each other, sweat dropped as Demyx ran like a headless chicken, trying to avoid the impending doom of a painful electrocution. Roxas smirked. This was getting fun.

"Y'know, Xaldin is pretty old, too." Everyone looked at Xaldin, who looked at Roxas.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Wrinkles. Sideburns. Dreadlocks. Everything about you is old." Marluxia laughed, followed by Luxord until everyone was busting a gut. Xaldin turned red. Xemnas and Xigbar looked at III.

"We aren't the oldest, he is!" They said at the same time. Xaldin flipped.

"I AM NOT!"

"Well, you can't prove you aren't the oldest." I nodded and II snickered. Lexaeus looked at them. "Neither can you two." Roxas looked around.

"Where did Xaldin go?" Everyone looked and Marluxia pointed at a corner where III sat, blue aura surrounding him. He was mumbling something along the lines of 'I'm not old' and 'my sideburns are chick magnets' and 'dreadlocks are fashionable'. Axel and Saix walked into the room, one looking disheveled while the other looked just plain high. ((Axel: I bet you're the high one, Sai. Saix: Coming from the man who acts high even when he's clean? I don't think so.)) Axel raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, Larxene's trying to kill Demyx…Did we miss something?" Roxas chuckled at everything they had missed while they were off doing who knows what.

"We're trying to figure out who's the oldest and who's the youngest." Saix smirked.

"Easy. II is the oldest and IX is the youngest." Demyx appeared out of nowhere, looking shocked in more ways than one.

"I am NOT the youngest!"

"You act like it."

"Oh, shut it, Saix…" Xemnas smiled mockingly.

"You ARE the oldest, II!" Xigbar turned faint red.

"That hasn't been decided yet!" The arguments started again, Axel and Saix now actively participating in it. The rants went on for another five minutes before a corridor of darkness opened right in the middle of them. Everyone stared as the two scientists walked out. No sooner had the portal closed, the arguing continued. Zexion raised an eyebrow at Roxas.

"I am getting the feeling that you are at least partially responsible for this, XIII."

"Correct. I didn't mean it, I just wondered who the oldest and the youngest members are."

"And what happened?"

"We all started arguing about if I, II, or III were the oldest and if me or IX were the youngest."

"…You started this on purpose, didn't you?" Roxas blushed and smirked slyly.

"Perhaps. But you can't prove it."

"True, I can't. But I do have an answer to your question. Could you get everyone's attention for me?"

"Sure." Roxas summoned his key blade and smacked it into the nearest pot, making it shatter on impact. The room fell silent.

"That was a bit severe…"

"Hey, It got the job done."

"That it did. Listen, everyone. Vexen and I have reviewed this thoroughly and have discovered that biologically, we are the same age as our other."

"Well then why do we look older than our somebody?"

"I was getting to that, XIII, be patient. Now somehow, in the process of becoming a Nobody, our… well… long story short, we look older because for whatever reason, the maturity of our somebody affected our appearance. Therefore, the older nobodies aren't necessarily older. If you want to figure out who the oldest and the youngest are, you can't go by looks. Rather on how old you were when you became a Nobody." Zexion turned to Xaldin, who had come out of the corner. "How old were you?"

"Twenty-seven."

"II?"

"Thirty-two."

"And superior?"

"…Thirty-eight. Damn it all!" Xemnas stomped angrily to his bedroom. Everyone sweat dropped except II and III, who were celebrating not being the oldest.

"Okay, IX, how old?

"Sixteen." A large, simultaneous collection of gasps rang out. Nobody was expecting that.

"And you, XIII?"

"Thirteen."

"Thirteen? Then you're not the youngest." Everyone looked around. Who was left that could possibly be younger than thirteen? Then a realization hit Roxas like a ton of bricks. He leaned in and whispered in the blue haired boy's ear.

"Zexion, when did you become a Nobody?" A small laugh came from his throat.

"Figured it out, huh?" Roxas smiled.

"Now would be a perfect time to start explaining your past."

"Fine, in the library over some tea." Zexion put his hand on the blonde's back, leading him away from the rest of the still puzzled nobodies.

"So how old are you?"

"Technically speaking? Eleven."

"Really? Tallest eleven year old I've ever seen." The bluenette nodded.

"Yes. I was rather cute, really, my lab coat was too big for me. I may have a picture floating around my room somewhere if you don't believe me."

"I believe you, it's just so hard to imagine!" Zexion laughed. Yes, laughed. Hell and heaven must both be Popsicles.

"Well, I suppose I can't argue with that. It's hard to picture me as an eleven-year-old boy wearing a lab coat too big for my body, isn't it?"

"Uh, yeah!" They both laughed as they continued their walk to the library, knowing full well they could open a portal and get there in ten seconds flat, but neither actually wanting to.

Meanwhile, the rest of the members were still trying and failing to figure out who could be younger than thirteen. Saix rolled his eyes.

"Has anyone considered the possibility that VI was bluffing?" Axel glared.

"Shut up, don't ruin it. This is fun to watch!"

"You are such a sadist."

"And you are such a hypocrite."

"For what?"

"I'm a sadist? You don't have room to talk."

"Grrr…" Axel and Saix continued to argue, Larxene and Marluxia continued to discuss the youngest Organization member, and Luxord had started playing poker to pass the time until the Castle was peaceful again. Demyx chewed at the inside of his cheek.

"Hey, guys? Vexen was pretty old when he became a nobody, too." Everyone stopped and looked at the long haired man who gulped nervously as they crept in to corner him.

Me: What do you think?

Everyone: …

Saix: Are you stalking us?

Me: no, why?

Luxord: Because this actually happened, you hormone crazed twit.

Me: …He just called me a hormone crazed twit… ~evil aura swirls~

Luxord: What the bloody hell?

Me: …He has to die now… ~aura gets stronger~

Axel: ~Grabs me~ Luxord, run for your damn life!

Luxord: Don't 'ave ta tell me twice! ~Runs~

Me: Axel! I almost had him!

Zexion: We'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from killing our comrades.

Me: (pout) Only for you guys.

Demyx: Thankyou!

Roxas: This fanfiction is cute.

Zexion: Agreed.

Axel: Funny too.

Demyx: I still want to know what Axel and Saix did in Axel's bedroom…

Me: What I always make them do.

Saix: We fucked like confused bunnies?

Me: Yup.

Axel and Saix: Oh great…

Me: haha, I'm the writer, what I says, goes. And I say…uh…Roxas, what do I say?

Roxas: You say something smartass-ish and say to review.

Me: Something smartass-ish, to review.

Everyone: …

Axel: Every review she gets makes her just a tiny bit weirder. If you enjoy her weird writing style, press the button and review.

Demyx: Please?

Saix: Or don't. It'll save me from having to screw Axel.

Axel: Don't act like you didn't love it.

Saix: Who's acting?

Me: WHATEVER! Just press the button and review so these guys will shut up!

Everyone: HEY!