The Hogwarts Chronicles
It's a parody, so calm down if the characters aren't canon. ALL LULZ WILL BE REVEALED IN TIME! Written by me and my friend Jen (she wrote this first chapter).
Chapter One
The day was sunny. Mariah was sitting on her front porch. Sixteen and a bit dead inside. School was dragging on, the days were getting longer and she wished they would just get shorter. She knew in a year she'd be in the same exact spot, doing the exact same thing. She rocked back and forth in her rocking chair, clutching her book to her chest.
"Yes" she thought, "Yes, tomorrow may be different but it's all just the same anyhow."
Just then, she saw a shadow move across the sky. Her eyes flickered up to the sun, and something screeched. With a flutter of wings, and a brown feather dropping into her paint-stained lap, there was a letter lying at her feet. She bent over, picked it up, and opened it...
Mike was sitting in class. The teacher kept on teaching them incorrect facts. Everytime she said something, he would raise his hand and correct her.
"That's not true, woman, the holocaust did not happen."
She smiled tightly, and then went back to writing on the white board. The smell of dry erase filled the room, and his frustration filled his blood. He growled beneath his breath, then raised his hand again. This time, the teacher didn't call on him. He shook his hand a bit, getting more and more frustrated by the second, but still... she did not call on him. Finally, he broke out.
"Miss, I need to use to the facilities." She rolled her eyes, and with a wave of her hand, dismissed him.
He walked casually out of the room, down the empty hallways, his eyes exploring the lockers and the pictures taped to them. Finally, he turned a corner and entered the bathroom. He popped some pimples in the mirror, looked at his reflection, then moved to wash his hands. In the sink, there was a letter addressed to him with a red wax seal. He sputtered, confused, wondering if he had dropped it and then he opened it....
Holly was laying in bed, the bong next to her. Her bedroom smelled like marijuana. She casually picked up a bottle of cheap perfume and sprayed it. She knew it was a feeble attempt to cover up the smell, but at least she tried. She was messed up on Valium today, and she felt good, though if perhaps a bit bored.
"Holly, mail!" her father said, and he dropped a letter on her bed. Huh, funny, he didn't seem to notice the smell... or at least he didn't say anything.
Who was writing to her? She picked up the letter, looked at it. It had no return address. Hmm... she broke the seal...
Kyle hadn't done shit all day. He had dropped out of highschool, and was sitting around. The bong was next to him, but all he had was shit weed. It was brown, and dirty, and didn't get him high unless he smoked mass amounts of it. He took another hit of the bong. The television was on in the background. He was watching the discovery Channel, and right now, there were whales swimming in the ocean. He took another hit of the bong. He wasn't even high. His life sucked. He didn't have a job, his girlfriend was a whore. It was always the same old shit.
"Kyle!" his dad called down to him. He sighed, and he hid the bong at the foot of his bed. He was allowed to smoke, he just didn't want for his father to ask him where he got the weed.
"What!?"
"There's a letter for you. It looks pretty fancy. Maybe you finally got a fucking job and will stop mooching off of us."
Kyle ran to his father, grabbed the letter, wondered for a second why they would send him something about a job through the mail. He ripped it open and it said....
Brandon was in juvie. He had been behind bars for fifteen days now. He had been caught stealing five nyquils from a grocery store and was stuck here. They were trying to make him better, they said, well fuck being better. He was now in his room, the boy next to him had a teardrop beneath his eye.
"Hey bro, did you kill someone?"
"No, did you?"
"Nawh, just a dog, but it was badass!"
Brandon rolled his eyes, wanting nothing more than some marijuana, morphine, cocaine, anything.
"Mail's here, kids," the cop said. Brandon sat upright, surprised. He rarely got mail, and usually if he did, it was from his mother. He knew it wasn't from her because it had a red seal on it. Maybe it was finally his ticket out! He snatched the letter and tore it open....
