11th of Second Seed, 4E 201

I was born Lofn Direnni, treasured only child to a powerful and beautiful Altmer sorceress and her human lover. Him, I do not remember. She took many lovers during my lifetime, and even shared some of them with me. Perhaps there are flashes of memory of my father that I hold unknown in my mind. Perhaps that's where I get what my mother called my fetish for human men. I remember laughing and telling her it was only practical. "Human attachments can only last so long," I told her. "Their lifespans are short. If things do go horribly ill-fated, one can always wait it out." She laughed then, and told me to take what I wanted from this life. She said that 1,000 years can pass in the blink of an eye if you love your life or can seem like an endless torture if you don't. There was a haunted look in her eye as she said the last part. I remember that, even all of these many years later. At the time I couldn't fathom why she would worry for me. Each day I grew more beautiful, powerful and charming. I was the desire of the courts across three provinces. My destiny stretched before me, an endless sea of golden possibilities, and all I had to do was choose.

Indeed, my life has been rich and full of pleasure. I've lived scandalously and amassed power and fortune. Sadly, I've been widowed three times in the last ten years. I loved all the men I married, in my way. They were all powerful. They all advanced my position or wealth. Unfortunately, my world in a violent one, and they all met untimely ends. I grieved for them, but I am not a creature that likes to be alone – and there were always others to take their places. My children understand. But now, with the golden rays of my youth fading, fear clutches at my heart. This marriage, my fourth and the most illustrious, was supposed to put my children on unshakable ground and secure their future. Instead, it may have put everything I love and hold dear at risk. My daughters – beautiful, charming and talented – are set to be used as bargaining chips, playthings of the emperor and the Elder Council.

I hear them laughing now, splashing each other in the shallow waters of the Lower Niben, most certainly with their skirts hiked up scandalously and their hair falling loose. I have to smile as I hear their prettily pitched giggles. No doubt they are amusing themselves by driving their bodyguards and any number of the local boys slowly mad. Oh! I cannot let them come to this end – my beautiful girls. I have only the summer to make my plans - only the summer to save them. I had the servants open the old summer mansion outside Leyawiin. I said it was to escape the smothering summer heat of the Imperial City, but it was to escape so much more. I told the girls that there would be no visitors, no callers, and no acquaintances stopping by, for the whole summer. There was a bit of pouting at first, until one of them giggled and declared that my restrictions just left them scads of time for outrageously improper summer romances. They were all smiles again in no time as they began plotting, with their heads together, in quiet whispers, as though I'd do anything to discourage their scandalous behavior. I tell them often to take all they can from this life.

I have only the summer to formulate a plan. Less time than that really – pieces will have to be set in motion soon. Around me the birds sing, the sun shines, and my children's laughter carries on the warm breeze. But my heart is heavy, my thoughts are troubling, and my doubts threaten to cripple me. In these quiet moments of desperation, alone with my thoughts, I begin to understand the darkness behind my mother's eyes.

Lady Lofn Direnni Caro–R'un-Ashcroft-Mede