A/N:

I don't think I'll have much of a problem making people agree with me when I say "root A sucked ass"

I hated it so much I drew kaneki in a bridal gown carrying hide bridal style who's wearing a matching groom's wear. Res liked it, and now that I think about it, I have yet to make her the finished product since that doodle was just a "prototype"

after that headcanons came and now this fic is born in the form of a (very late) birthday present.

Anyway, the usual:
WARNING: UNBETA'ED (which kind of reminds me, I need a beta)


He failed.

The Manager, Koma, Irimi,Touka, everyone at Anteiku. He failed them all.

He wasn't strong enough, and now not only will he lose the only place he belonged in, he'll also lose Hide. Forever.

There was numbness, it took a while to get the reality sink in before tears started dripping from his eyes.

His tears are red, the color of blood. It drip-dropped onto Hide's cheek. The warm blood tickled his cooling skin, and Hide's mouth twitched into a smile.

Kaneki's smile drops.

Hide moved.

There is still a chance that he can save him.

But then what?

He promised Hide home, and if he ever succeeded in helping his friend the CCG will be right outside, waiting to slaughter him like an animal.

There are so many variables to consider if he dare execute the plan, and the longer he sit here, thinking and planning it to perfection, Hide is getting closer and closer to death's door.

He had no time to waste.

Everything has to be perfect. For Hide.

So what he does next was wipe his tears dry and carefully lie his friend carefully on the cold floor, a hand pressing onto the wound and trying to lessen the bleeding. Hide's protective armor was torn off along with his shirt before Kaneki runs to the kitchen to get the torn cloth wet.

Not too long he comes back with a first-aid kit, they always kept one around.

He immediately moves to clean his friend's wound, Kaneki's face growing grim as he assesses the damage done.

He read a number of medical books back when he was training with Touka so patching a wound as severe as this was no problem.

Hide is wearing a ccg battle suit, which means the rest of the ccg could be looking for him. Hide needs to disappear. The ghoul they call eye-patch or centipede has to disappear too.

Apologising to the only place that accepted him with open arms after the incident, he sets the coffee shop on fire.

The tunnels were like a labyrinth.

It was designed so that the humans who wanted to harm the ghouls who used to live underground would be lost. Touka had warned him not to venture here without her or someone who is familiar with the tunnels. You may really end up getting lost and never be found. Forever.

But Kaneki took his time before to learn the maps. He read them and added them into his sets of plans in case his other plans fail. So this is where he goes, carrying his unconscious, but breathing friend.

The CCG won't be able to chase them underground, with their casualties and damages sustained from the raid and the sudden ambush of Aogiri Tree.

Once they reach the end of a tunnel that exits somewhere far from 20th ward, they go up.

The sky is almost orange, the dawn is near.

The beginning of an end.

Anteiku is officially gone, and so will he and Hide.

He stole some clothes from an apartment nearby, and smuggled themselves out of the city.

They sought refuge in a delivery truck that is heading home to province. He strategically hid Hide and himself in one of the empty crates, enduring the pungent smell of crushed fish remains. They're in a delivery truck that used to carry fresh fishes to Tokyo. It's on its way back to where it came from, outside the city. Hopefully somewhere faraway the CCG won't be able to trace them.

When the smell of Tokyo slowly dissipated and the air became salty, Kaneki thought it was a good time to see where the truck has taken them.

It was at the sea.

A grey eye was wide as it peeks through a hole in the truck's metal wall, the sun has completely risen up in the sky, illuminating the waters in the shore. There are people lying and running by the beach, smiles etched on their faces.

It was beautiful.

Kaneki has never seen the beach before, growing from a very poor family. His aunt and her family did go to the beach yearly every summer, but they never took him along, his aunt says he should stay indoors and take care of the house instead.

There was one emotion that rumbled deep inside his gut as he continued to gaze at the view: Excitement.

Then he feels Hide shift in his lap, and the emotion crumbles.

He frowns. Hide was shivering.

It's quite cold inside the truck, even though the supposed delivery had already been delivered that morning. It must be to avoid the left-overs to rot and make the truck smell.

He runs his hands in his hair, feels the sweat accumulating in his roots despite the coolness of where he lays. He checks Hide's temperature and it feels like he's about to have a fever. His wound must've been infected after all. This is bad.

He needs to make another plan, fast.

The truck finally stops.

Kaneki hides the both of them behind the farthest crates and waits.

When people started unloading, he carries his friend, makes sure he's lying comfortably in his arms and pays attention to not to disturb his wounded side.

When the exit was wide open, he jumps out of his hiding place, causing people inside to jump and yelp.

He was already gone by the time the people inside or nearby made a big fuss about a stowaway.

Kaneki finds refuge in an empty house by the beach.

By the looks of it, it hasn't been occupied for years. The furnitures and most of the house were covered in cloth to avoid dust from accumulating on them.

At first glance, one would think a family owns this, but upon further inspection, it wasn't. The house was bare, no signs of family pictures, a child's toy, or anything that says this house has been lived on.

It was empty.

There is no power and the water isn't running. It wasn't occupied but this is obviously a private property, so as long as he's careful, they won't get discovered. Unless the owner, whoever they are, finally chose this time of all things to come visit.

Kaneki was thankful for the cloths covering everything for when he pulled one off of a big, fluffy bed, it was clean and dust-free for Hide to lie on. He hasn't retained consciousness as of yet but as long as he's breathing, Kaneki wasn't worried.

But there was one problem.

Hide is human, which means he'll to eat to survive, unlike Kaneki who can last at least a month without eating anything.

Hide is also wounded, which means he'll require medicine and supplies for cleaning and maintenance.

Kaneki won't be able to provide for those unless he has something to spend with, and Kaneki has no money to his name right now. After all, what's the use of money for a runaway ghoul?

It was dark; that was the first thing he notices the moment he opens his eyes.

His eyes felt so heavy, his body too, it felt like he never went to sleep at all.

The smell of cooked (roasted) fish was strong and that was when he sees light creep through the corners of the door of the room where he is currently in.

The door creaks open, and no matter how much he had mentally prepared himself for the worst, it still surprised him to see his friend right outside, carrying a candle (so that was where that light was coming from) and a plate of something nice and warm (based on the smoke wafting from whatever was in it, but he's definitely assuming its fish).

He couldn't quite see the expression in Kaneki's face right now, the candle light's intensity wasn't strong enough.

Hide watches silently as Kaneki enters and closes the door, walks with such grace he had never seen in the other before, patiently waits even when Kaneki sits on the floor right next to the bed Hide is currently lying in and places the plate of cooked fish (so it is fish, after all) in the night stand. The smell of newly cooked food is currently so appealing, Hide's stomach started to growl and he feels his mouth start to salivate. Its like he can already taste it in his tongue. He didn't know he's hungry at all.

It felt like ages before one of them finally spoke.

"You're awake." It was Kaneki.

It's strange, hearing his voice like that.

It's like he's an entirely different person. Hollow and deep, contrary to the sweet and rather soft voice his friend usually has. Sometimes it's rather loud when Kaneki expresses his disbelief in some (most) of Hide's ideas, calling him stupid, an idiot, too carefree. Most of the time he does it on purpose now, just to incite some pleasing reactions from his friend.

This Kaneki here, that expression is definitely new to Hide. He's not sure if he likes it but he hopes this is not Kaneki's permanent expression. He looks too stiff, too distant, he doesn't like this look on his friend at all.

Kaneki's words were followed by silence, and Hide hears the sound of water. Like waves hitting land. Ocean waves hitting the shore. The night breeze blows into the open windows and Hide can smell salt.

They're in the sea, aren't they? That sounds far from Tokyo. Just how did Kaneki manage that?

There are so many questions running in his head right now, so many things he want to know, to ask. But all he says when he opens his mouth was,

"Can I eat that?"

Days went on with Hide spending the entire day occasionally passing out or curling in pain, bedridden. That aogiri ghoul really did him good.

At least his fever went down a day later after he (finally) woke up. Apparently he was out for two days. Or so he thinks, because that's the number of plates of (spoiled) fish Hide found not too long ago underneath the bed he lies on. Gross.

Kaneki would occasionally enter the room to bring him food, which is always fish. From the looks of it, it was cooked directly over fire. Hide continues to wonder where in the hell his friend gets them, because he sure as hell Kaneki had never once fished in his life. Unless that's another lie, too.

Hide's eyes opens wide when he hears the door creak open, and he stills. He hurriedly closes his eyes, feigning sleep when he feels Kaneki's presence walk around the bed to face him.

What time is it? He couldn't quite tell when it's so dark in his room, not to mention that the heavy curtains were down today.

When Hide felt the mattress dip near his face and feel Kaneki's soft breath touch his face, he goes "ah, bath time."

"Hide," Kaneki whispers.

Hide had always wondered why Kaneki would whisper, softly and gently he calls Hide from slumber every time. How can you wake someone up with such soft voice? Aren't you supposed to be shouting or shaking them awake? 'Cause that's what he does, to be honest.

Hide waits for Kaneki to call his name some more, a lot, before he slowly cracks an eye, pretends to squint as if his vision is still blurry from sleep before rolling on his back and stretches and yawns.

Only he fails, because just after a bit of stretch, so did his healing wound, and God, does it hurt. He started with a yawn, he ended with a hiss and a moan. The look it incited in Kaneki's face made him regret.

Regret for encouraging his friend to pursue that woman.

Regret for being too laid back to worry too much after Kaneki's accident.

Regret for not worrying enough to get Kaneki to tell him.

Regret for not telling Kaneki earlier that he knew, and its okay.

Regret for not being enough.

Hide had regretted too many things.

Kaneki had never wanted him to see.

That was why when he woke up inside Anteiku and see Hide, upon realizing that his kakugan was activated, his reflex was to cover up.

Suddenly, the feared eye-patched ghoul is no more. Just Kaneki. The tragic hero of this story, who was living a simple happy life in his little hole but one day he was forced out. Forced to spend his days outside under the presence of the horrible bright light, with eyes on him everywhere, whenever. Forced to act out a play he doesn't want to be a part in, more so play as the main character.

He's so disgusted with himself. He's a monster. The very thing children and adults alike fear.

If Hide ever finds out what has become of him, definitely, Hide would-

He would definitely, beyond doubt would be-

-rejected.

He wanted to cry. He felt like he would, as he stares down at Hide's body, almost lifeless if it wasn't for the constant rise and fall of his chest, the soft snores that come out of his mouth as he lies in the softest bed that Kaneki can find inside the house.

A day has yet to pass since their arrival, so why is he feeling so hopeless?

Hide's breathing has stabilized, his fever is getting lower. That's an improvement, but he couldn't get himself to leave and drop the worry. The fear.

Hide might die.

It doesn't sound too impossible at the moment, considering his condition a few hours prior.

Hide is breathing but his complexion is pale. Kaneki remembers he still need to do something about it.

Antibiotics, gauges, disinfectants. He needs them.

Panic starts to settle in again. He walks around the room, back and forth, pulling at his hair with every step.

The first question is how.

He searched the entire house, finding medical kits in its numerous bathrooms filled with expired medications.

One of the plastic boxes he found ended up getting crashed between his hands. This house is long abandoned, but at least it has been tended to. It is in perfect condition, if they're careful, they can hide here for as long as they could. The problem is the supplies.

Kaneki is a ghoul, he doesn't need to worry about things like injuries when he's a rinkaku. He heals fast. Faster if he's well-fed. Feeding on small fries wouldn't be a problem for him, but Hide…

…Hide's human. He needs to eat, he needs the supplies or else his condition might drop from bad to worse. He's still unconscious so eating won't be much of a problem until later but the harder part is getting him the medicine he needed. Kaneki is no doctor. He knows the basics, yes, but if Hide's condition won't get any better after a few antibiotics and proper attention to his wound, then he'll need a doctor. A human doctor.

Doctors mean hospitals, and hospitals mean trouble.

If he brings in his friend inside the building under a different identity, Kaneki thinks he can pull it off, but if they started asking questions on where and how Hide got his injuries, that would be the problem.

They'll get easily suspicious of his character, might call the cops and worse, the CCG.

The very reason he tried to run as far away as possible from Tokyo was to get away from them and if they report him, all this sacrifice would be all for naught now, wouldn't it.

Not to mention there is also this unsettling feeling that something bad is bound to happen to him whenever a hospital is involved. He couldn't quite tell why, but it just does. Same goes with doctors.

Kaneki hated doctors. Just the thought of the "what ifs" if Hide were to fall in the hands of a doctor like Kanou makes Kaneki stop those thoughts immediately. No, he can't get Hide a doctor.

He inhales then sighs deep through his nose.

He carefully lies his head on the bed right next to his sleeping friend, gazing at that peaceful face. Kaneki thinks, and thinks until he could think no more.

He felt like giving up, really.

He presses his face into the bed's soft surface, hands covering his head.

He ended up sleeping like that. Head on the bed, knees bent at the floor.

He's tired.


E/N: its not that clear but this is a "honeymoon au"