In Lily's Eyes
Third year was busy: there were new classes, more advanced skills to learn, trips to Hogsmeade, and best of all, James as team captain had made Lily Gryffindor's seeker. Liam Finnigan was brought on to replace their cousin Fred as a beater and Lily discovered how convenient it was to have a beater with a crush on her. James had to yell at Liam to defend the chasers sometimes, but Lily hadn't had a bludger within ten feet of her all season and she appreciated it. Liam had joined her company of friends and cousins on all the Hogsmeade trips, which was fine with her. He was cheerful and made a good snowball-fight opponent. There was another boy she would have liked to come also but he claimed he needed to stay at the castle to do homework.
Ever since she met him on the train, Lily had been fascinated by Tony Dolohov. He had obviously had a difficult childhood, and she saw the same kind of toughness mixed with sadness that she sometimes saw in her dad. She liked Tony because he was polite, and inside his frightened and reclusive shell, he seemed friendly, gentle and steady. He was as much unlike the infamous Dolohov Death Eater as a thunderstorm and a thimble. She wasn't sure how other people couldn't see that.
Sometimes she felt like shouting at people, "he's just Tony! He didn't Cruciatus your aunt!" But it wasn't that simple. In Quidditch, players could attack each other and still come out of it best friends, but in real life friends get hurt and defensive, and that made things difficult. So, without lecturing her friends, she tried to show them that she was willing to accept Tony so they would eventually accept him too.
Tony didn't make it easy. When they were alone he seemed so happy, she knew he didn't dislike her. There were even times when it seemed like he loved her, but the next moment he would shut her out. He seemed willing to receive her friendship but not to reciprocate it, and that became exhausting. She knew it was hard for Tony to have people associate him with his father, but she didn't understand the depth of his self-doubts.
Then Professor Fenwick brought a boggart to class.
Lily didn't know what fear the boggart would choose for her. She wasn't bothered by spiders, snakes, or heights. Dad had started teaching her to make a patronus before she even had her own wand. Maybe the boggart would turn into Rita Skeeter...that would make things easy, because Lily wouldn't even have to change it to make it ridiculous.
After Liam's speeding bludger met its squishy defeat, she stepped forward. She recognized Dad's hero, Albus Dumbledore...glowing like she imagined from the story of the Deathly Hallows. He told her the train would leave her there, at the deathly station, because she had taken the easy life that was handed to her and never stood up for what she knew and loved. His words made her feel empty. To be forever alone, unable to move forward because of her own unwillingness to give. Yes, that was Lily's worst fear, but she reminded herself that the current task was the boggart. She remembered another story about Dumbledore...
Most of the other students succeeded against the boggart, with three or four exceptions when Fenwick stepped up and took care of the boggart for students who were overwhelmed. As Tony too often did, he came up last looking apprehensive.
When the boggart turned into something like her own dad's evil twin, angry at Tony for daring to speak to his daughter, Lily felt disoriented for a few seconds. Then she began to understand, that her friendship must mean more to Tony than she realized if being denied it was his worst fear. Did he shy away from her because Tony himself believed what people said about him—that he was like his father?
Tony stood paralyzed. Lily wondered why Fenwick wasn't coming up to help him, and then she saw that the Professor seemed to be stuck in some kind of inner conflict herself.
They had to see the real Harry Potter—a normal wizard with a life, weaknesses, and a definite mischievous streak. She pictured one of her favorite memories of him, and cast the spell: "riddikulus!"
Everyone was delighted by the story of the great Auror making himself puke on the Minister of Magic's desk just to get out of a meeting, but the boggart was focused on Tony. Lily watched him; if he wasn't amused, it was no good.
His smile was fleeting, like a glimpse of a golden snidget in a thick forest—there and then gone. Lily thought if she could catch that smile and keep it, it would be more thrilling than any snitch she had ever caught.
oOo
Thanks to lindahoyland (author of some excellent LOTR fanfictions) for pointing out a typo. Specifically, a whole duplicated paragraph. How did that paragraph sneak in twice, I would like to know?! Riddikulus...
