inspired by the movie 'perks of being a wallflower' (A/N: finally saw that movie...Fucking loved it. but i do know a person like in the film and i got motivated to write this. enjoy or cry. cry if your an Axel fan.)
this story begins with a boy suffering from p.t.s.d. and is tying to get back into the world. his name is roxas.
for this story begins shortly after roxas turns seventeen, he was walking home from school alone like always. down this same dirt roads of Destiny island, nothing changing. he continued to walk until he was stopped by a person standing in his way. roxas looks up to see who it is rather than keep looking at the ground. it was a girl in a school uniform, and short black hair and blue eyes, her skin is a pale-ish color, weird since they live on a island. she smiled when she saw him. "hey your that Roxas guy right?" she asks him keeping him from getting past.
"yea. my name. is roxas." he mumbled trying to get past her.
"hey don't ignore me, listen i'm going to a party tonight with some friends and your going with me." she pouted wile continuing to block his path.
"i'm, i'm not a party person. i just need to get home." he continued to mumble.
"ok you need to drop off your book i'll go with you then your going to the party." she persisted. she wraps her arms around one of his and walks with him, he tried to pull away, but she would not let go. roxas eventually gave up, he only hopes that no one sees him with her.
once they got to roxas home she let go of his arm, and she walked in the house behind him. she follows him into his room and looked at everything, his stack of C.D.s, posters, books, she found a shelf with an old stuffed animal on it. she smiles at his music. "you have a great taste in music you know that. hmm?" she says noticing an orange bottle on his desk filled with pills, labeled 'propranolol' (chill pills). she frowned at this then she looks around some more with roxas trying to get her out. she saw a picture of him and a red haired friend at the beach the two of them looked happy wile covered in sand. a tear falls down her face as she looks at the red head in the picture.
"what's wrong?" roxas ask being concerned about this girl.
"the other boy in this picture is my cousin, or he was." she started to cry a little more.
"Alex never said he had a little cousin before, but i wish i could have stopped him." roxas tells her, and she looks at him both with sadness and with anger.
"you where there when it happened and you didn't stop it? weren't you and him close enough to stop him? you should have stopped him. why didn't you? he's dead because you couldn't stop him. Axel-Alex only wanted to live the way he wanted." she screams at roxas.
"do you know what it is like to see your only friend shoot them self, and live with the guilt." roxas yells shocking himself. imagines start to flash in front of his eyes of his best friend holding a gun to his head, slowly pulling the trigger. roxas breathing became light, he starts to loose him self in guilt. "no i- i- killed him. it's my fault- he dead because i- i couldn't- love- love him back." says roxas trying to go for his pills wile his body and mind was resisting. xion panicked and grabs the bottle and opens it to hand him two pills. he quickly swallows them. his arms shake violently, his vision go's blurry as he hears a women's scream.
When he came to he was in a hospital bed. his mother asleep in a chair, obiously she was crying. a doctor walks in, and gently touches roxas hand. "do you know were you are?" the doctor ask.
"im- at the only- hospital- on the island." said roxas trying to peace his thoughts together. the doctor chuckles a little as roxas makes a sarcastic remark wile in this mental stat.
"listen you should be glad you have a friend that cares for you as much as she dose. you had a episode, and she carried you here from your home. i would also like to be your friend. will you let me, so we can get you better?" the doctor ask roxas. he nods yes.
"good, now before we begin. you have a visitor." the doctor says walking out of the room letting in a girl with black hair, wearing a checkered skirt, and black hoodie. she looked at roxas and lightly smiled. he looked a way for a moment, so he could hide his anger that him.
"roxas before you say anything...i'm really sorry for this. i didn't mean for this to happen. i saw you at school being alone, and i though we could be friends. i heard that you where friends with my cousin-"
"we where friends until he died, by his choice. all i have left is my mind." roxas said trying to sit up.
"can you please tell me about my cousin, when i was with him all he talked about was you. so i didn't get to know him that well." xion said helping him.
"what do you want to know?" he ask calming himself down.
"why he did it." she said looking a
"the reason Axel did what he did. he kissed me and i didn't feel anything for him, plus i pushed him away. literally. i only saw him as a friend, but someone saw him kiss me. word got out that he was gay, and he was shunned, even by me. i couldn't look at him. the pain was to much for him. no one was there to help him, his family rejected him, his friends rejected him, even the community rejected him. he had nothing left. the night he died, i was there, he called me and asked if we could talk. when i got there he had the gun to his head. i tried to clam him down. i used my phone in my pocket to dial 911, but when they arrived. he was already dead and in my arms." roxas said pulling down part of his outfit to show a scar on his shoulder. " the bullet went through his head, and cut my shoulder. ever since i have been having flash backs of the day he died. when it happened. no one at school cared, but one. she also committed suicide. her death was by hanging. she had feelings for Axel, but once she had learned he was gay she had a broken heart, and when he died, she couldn't live anymore." said roxas feeling relief on his shoulder confessing the story of his best friends death.
xion couldn't help but cry. "roxas can you tell me more about him, and i will come every day to help you with your homework, and keep you caught up in school." xion was hopping he would say yes.
"can i trust you? even after today?" roxas had to ask.
"three days ago and i already brought you homework from these past days." xion said pulling out a file folder filled with papers and notes.
"then it's a deal, but i can't say i like you all that much you did put me in here." roxas said looking at the homework xion handed him.
"i know and im really sorry. i only want you to get better. your actually nicer than what i thought." xion said giving him a kiss on the for head. she opened a textbook and started to read it to him. roxas smiles as he looks out the window, thinks about what has happened and how is it that he has forgiven this person already. maybe she is right, he is a good person when he doesn't stick to himself.
"hey xion." roxas gains her attention quickly wishing to ask this girl he just met.
"hmm?" she looks up to see roxas scooting to the end of his hospital bed.
"when i get out. want to go out?" he ask her out of instinks and feeling he wants let out. she smiles and nods her head yes.
A/N. so yea. i actually know a person like how i portrait the character roxas in this story. as much as i wish for there to be a world where p.t.s.d. can't exist, all i can do is be a better person and life to make the places i go stronger and happier as i go though life leading examples for others to lead.
