"Shiva, the Ice Queen...

To incur her wrath is to feel

your very heart freeze in your chest,

for cold is her anger and swift her vengeance."

—Eidolon Library


As I stepped into her shrine at the Macalania Temple, the penetrating cold in the air strikes me immediately. My eyes sting from the glacial-like conditions and it's as if it has become more difficult to breathe in this climate. Still, I brave the freezing temperature to be able to catch one glimpse of her. Pushing through the pain, I eventually find myself on my hands and knees looking up admiringly at the fayth statue as I prayed. However, the anticipation of seeing her does cause me to waiver from prayer ever so slightly.

Eventually, after several hours of prayer she appears before me. The bewitchingly blue-skinned monster. Yet, she is so human like it's no wonder why I had become completely and utterly enamored with her. Her willowy figure is adorned with not only jewelry, but the frost causes her to shimmer in the light as if her body was pure crystal. Cerulean tresses flowed endlessly to her waist. To gaze upon her was to appreciate the beauty of a snow flake and to be able to do so was well worth enduring the bitter cold.

"Why have you come here again, human?"

The celestial voice spoke out to me – emotionless, apathetic, completely and utterly frigid. This was not unusual by any means - this was her usual demeanor during my visits. Every time I was in her presence, that moment became the highlight of my entire existence, but to her I was a mere annoyance. Something so insignificant and unworthy of her company.

"Before I met you, I hated being cold. Now I'd rather be standing here in the freezing cold with you, than to be outside in the warmth of the shining sun."

Still, my ice angel is forever unmoved. She turns away from me without showing the slightest bit of emotion. Sometimes I desire to be more like her, as cold as stone so I wouldn't feel a thing – a frosted heart that feels no pain. Often times I have wondered if the Macalania Snowfield is a product of remnants of her chilly soul spilling out into the rest of the world. The two coldest places in the world are the Macalania Snowfield and her heart.

"I may look alive to you, human, but I assure you that I am dead inside. There is an empty void where my heart used to be and ice flows contently through my veins."

Her harsh demeanor, her bleak words – they never fail to catch me off guard. With the countless times I have visited her shrine, you would assume I would have grown accustom to her frigidness by now. But I have not. Every visit is filled with anticipation, with eagerness; with hope that this time will be the visit my unrequited love is reciprocated.

"I love you," I call out to her in a pleading manner, but my words do not pierce that stony exterior of hers. "I love you so much that it physically pains me."

In a mere instant she had taken a step forward so that her face was mere inches from mine. I could feel her arctic breath upon my neck and it sent piercing shivers down my spine. Sapphire gems gleamed unblinking as she studied my face. Then, azure lips met with mine and I was instantly frostbitten – my lips were so cold they could bleed. A chilly tongue began to explore my mouth, causing a numbing sensation incomparable to the deadliest blizzard. It chilled me to the very core, but I fought through the pain and returned her kiss. Frosty hands began to travel from my neck and up to caress my face. I felt the goose bumps form on my skin instantaneously. It's as if winter was living in her bones. As my hands began to travel up and down her body, I could feel the ice crystals on her skin begin to melt against my warm flesh. I took pleasure in the moment. I took pleasure in the pain. Her touch, her kiss, her embrace - It was simultaneously magnificent and torturous. Nothing burns like the cold.

"Love has no meaning for those who have no emotions, silly human."

She whispered passionless words as she pulled away from me slightly. Yet, her actions did not mimic her words - she had kissed me, given me hope, showed me affection. Then without warning, she abruptly shoves me towards the ground. As I look up at her, I am forced to admire the immense strength and power she possesses. A smile of absolute delight graces her divine lips and she raises her arm in a familiar gesture, placing her nimble fingers together with a cold snap.

And she left me lying on the cold hard ground, encased in a thin layer of ice. I gave my heart to her and she just crushed it without a care in the world. I longed to be like her – to have this ability to get close to someone without any real intention of being close. She only came close to me to give me false hope. Then took pleasure in shattering it. Because a cold heart feels no pain. But I wasn't like her, I still had a heart and now I could appreciate warmth, because I had tasted the cold.