Title: A Case of You
Author: Littlestkitten (saratu on lj)
Fandom: Kyou Kara Maou
Pairing: Conrad/Yuuri, one-sided Wolfram/Yuuri
Series: Without You I'm Nothing arc
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,306
Summary: Wolfram decides to act on what he's discovered. Yuuri makes some decisions of his own.
Notes: I decided to put Rainy Days and The Edge of a Precipice into an arc with Realizations. So Precipice is a direct sequel to Rainy Days while Realizations is a companion piece to both. I'm arbitrarily naming the arc the "Without You I'm Nothing" arc. This piece follows Precipice and Realizations. And I've finally decided to set a time to this. It takes place a year or two after the end of season two, so Yuuri is about 17 or 18.
Yuuri sighed as he looked over the mountains of paperwork piled on his desk. The castle had been a flurry of activity ever since an earthquake had hit the western part of Christ territory. Soldiers had to be sent to evacuate survivors and help people to temporary shelters. Supplies had to be sent to feed the people in these camps, and workers to rebuild the villages that had been destroyed. Gunter had left earlier that week to organize his people and Gwendal had had to take over his duties while he was gone.
The added administrative work was bad enough, but with Gunter gone it was almost impossible to finish everything. For once Yuuri wasn't complaining about all the paperwork. As much as he hated it, he knew he wouldn't be that much help at the actual site, and he wanted to help however he could. He had been begrudgingly convinced that signing his name over and over again was the best way to do this.
And while he knew that it was important to allocate funds and manpower, he still couldn't help but feel that they were trying to distract him with busywork. He sighed and reminded himself that one more person wouldn't help the relief efforts all that much, but him signing a document to send another platoon would.
With all of this going on, he had been surprised when Wolfram had asked for an official meeting with him. Usually Wolfram just said what he wanted to say whenever he wanted to say it. He knew that the prince was a stickler for propriety but he'd always thought that Wolfram just didn't care when it came to his fiancé. Whatever it was it must be pretty serious though, Wolfram had asked Gwendal and Murata to the meeting as well to act as witnesses. Yuuri felt dread well up in him as he thought about why they would need witnesses. The only thing he could think of was a wedding, but surely this crisis wasn't enough to allow for an elopement? Whatever Wolfram's reasons were, Yuuri figured he'd soon find out. The other boy would be arriving soon and he could ask all of his questions then.
Murata had already showed up and Gwendal was finishing his last signature when Wolfram appeared. Yuuri was instantly concerned for his friend, as he seemed paler than usual and looked as if he might have been crying recently. Yuuri's feeling of dread increased drastically as he started to panic about what might be upsetting the boy. Before he could start hyperventilating, however, Wolfram opened his mouth to speak.
"I know this is sudden. And I have no reason that I am willing to give, but I must regretfully terminate my engagement with Shibuya Yuuri, 27th Maou of Shin Makoku."
Yuuri felt his mouth drop open as Wolfram bowed deeply. Gwendal's brow seemed to gain even more wrinkles and Murata's glasses glinted even though there was no direct light in the room. The Great Sage stepped forward and turned to Yuuri to ask if he would agree with this. Wolfram wouldn't meet his eyes and seemed to be waiting with bated breath for his answer. He slowly nodded his agreement and watched as Wolfram slumped before appearing to marshal his resolve and march proudly out of the room.
Wolfram's sudden breaking of their engagement was a relief but also something that Yuuri knew he should worry about. Something must have happened to make his friend suddenly decide this, and Yuuri was scared to think of what it might have been.
That night as he tried to sleep, he found himself feeling surprisingly cold in the large bed he had always shared with someone else. He hadn't been in love with Wolfram, but he had grown used to his presence, and he would miss the constant companionship.
Yuuri should have known that just because their engagement was broken it wouldn't mean that Wolfram would leave him alone. Sure Wolfram had locked himself in his room for a few days. He'd also only allowed Greta and Cheri-san to enter and even tried to refuse food. But all too soon he was back to his old self. The only real difference was that Yuuri now slept alone and was no longer accused of being a cheater. Although Wolfram seemed to be making up for the loss of that privilege by accusing him of being a wimp doubly often.
The news of their broken engagement had spread like wildfire and Yuuri almost wished they were still engaged just so he didn't have to deal with all the women that had suddenly flocked to the capital. Some of them seemed to be old enough to be his mother (if she'd been a mazoku) while others seemed barely old enough to be away from their parents. When he had first arrived in this strange world he probably would have loved having all these lovely ladies hanging off of him, but things had changed. They no longer had any hope of making his heart race or (and Yuuri blushed to think this) of making him weak with desire.
Both of those things were reserved for one person and Yuuri wished more than anything that he was here right now. Wolfram's dissolution of their engagement had been like an answered prayer that Yuuri hadn't known he'd been sending. He'd wanted nothing less than to break his friend's heart, but he couldn't love him the way he deserved. It was best for everyone that they not try to be together.
But he was still unsure of how to proceed with Conrad. A part of him wanted to just throw caution to the wind and see where they could take this. Another part of him was scared of what that would mean. He had spent so much time fighting against the idea of two men together that this particular paradigm shift was difficult. And what would Wolfram think? Yuuri knew how this would look to the other boy. It had been his one voiced excuse against their engagement. Him disregarding it now would essentially be saying that there had been something wrong with Wolfram, not just his gender.
And Yuuri still wasn't sure if what he felt was love. They had learned in school about infatuation and how people would think they were in love before suddenly realizing a few months later that all they felt had been lust. He didn't want to use Conrad that way. The man deserved more. If they were to start something then Yuuri needed to know what it really was that he was feeling. He couldn't take the risk that his teenage hormones were just fixating on a convenient person.
There was also the problem of his past life. The thought that Conrad might want him just because he had Julia's soul made him go cold and feel physically ill. Yuuri was nothing compared to the beautiful woman that Conrad had been in love with. He wasn't beautiful for one thing. He was still gangly and he couldn't understand why anyone would find him attractive. Yuuri knew he couldn't compare to how beautiful Julia had been. He didn't want Conrad to one day realize that it had simply been the idea of Yuuri he'd been attracted to, and not the reality.
These thoughts were constantly spiraling through his head during any activities he tried to partake in. Sleep wouldn't come, and when it did, it was fitful and full of vague nightmares formed by his insecurities. Yuuri was excited to see Conrad again, but he was also entirely terrified of what would happen once they had time to talk.
Their reunion was anti-climatic after all that time Yuuri had spent worrying over it. Conrad returned with many other soldiers that had been sent out with the relief effort. Some of the survivors had traveled with them to resettle in the city and Yuuri was forced to make a speech to welcome them. Conrad had resumed his usual place as one of Yuuri's retainers and it was almost agony to have him so close but be unable to speak freely.
The general hubbub lasted for the rest of the day and Yuuri wasn't allowed to rest until well after dinner. He knew that Conrad had retired earlier, claiming fatigue from the long journey, and he was annoyed yet relieved that they hadn't had a chance to talk yet. He still wasn't sure what he would say but he felt that it would be cruel to leave this off for too long. There was no longer any excuse for them not to be together, and Yuuri was afraid that Conrad would take it the wrong way if he spent too much time avoiding the issue.
Yet with all his relief at avoiding the talk for one more day, Yuuri still couldn't stop thinking or worrying about it. He found himself tossing and turning before finally giving up on sleep. He missed Conrad. It had been especially hard to be away from him for so long with all these newly uncovered feelings. Even though he'd known that there wouldn't be much of a chance for injuries, he'd still had an irrational fear of losing the man.
He hesitated for a while before finally deciding to do something that would put a rest to his uneasiness. He would just take a quick peak in the soldier's room, prove to himself that Conrad was well and uninjured, and then go back to bed and sleep. No one would have to know (except for the guards) and Yuuri could hopefully rest undisturbed afterward. His mind made up, Yuuri pulled on a night robe and shoes, before slipping out of his room and into the corridors.
The guards stood at attention and he felt one follow him as he made his way to Conrad's room. In the past this would have annoyed him but he understood now the practicalities of it. Yuuri was not a skilled fighter and it would be ridiculous to be assassinated just because he'd wanted more privacy. The guard waited at the end of the corridor when he realized where the king was going. Yuuri slowly pulled open the door to Conrad's bedroom before sliding between the small opening he'd allowed.
The heavy curtains were drawn and Yuuri cursed inwardly when he realized he would have to stumble around to find the bed. He couldn't risk a light, as he knew that would instantly wake the soldier, so he slowly made his way across the room with his arms outstretched. And promptly ran into the bed. He fell with an oomph onto the occupant of said bed and felt his face heat up as the man immediately woke up.
He scrambled up quickly as he started babbling out excuses. After the ninth "I'm sorry" and the seventh "I'll never do it again" Conrad moved away from him to light a lamp. Yuuri blinked owlishly at the sudden influx of light before eeping and covering his eyes when he realized the other man wasn't wearing a shirt. He uncovered them indignantly when he heard the soft chuckling coming from the soldier.
"Heika," Conrad said smiling. "What ever are you doing here?"
Yuuri blushed at the enquiry. No one was supposed to have found out about his nighttime visit, but he'd already ruined that possibility. Telling Conrad why he'd come was out of the question, Yuuri felt embarrassed even thinking about his reasons, there was no way he could actually voice them. But he also couldn't come up with a reasonable excuse for being there. He frowned before shrugging and turning away slightly. He knew his behavior would trouble Conrad but he still wasn't ready to put words to his feelings. They were scary enough in his head.
Instead he reached for the lamp and turned down the oil until the flame went out. He groped around in the darkness before finding Conrad and pulling him down onto his back. Yuuri cuddled up to the man before whispering a goodnight. He could feel how tense Conrad was, and even though any other time it would bother him, he was too exhausted from weeks of getting little sleep. He drifted off to the feel of Conrad breathing and the sound of his heartbeat under his ear. It was more soothing than any lullaby he'd ever heard.
The next morning was one of Yuuri's only days off so he had the luxury of sleeping as long as he wanted. He woke up lazily to the smell of breakfast and the sounds of someone bustling around the room. Yuuri soon ascertained that it was Conrad setting out food for them at his desk. Yuuri knew he should feel awkward about last night but the contentment he'd felt, and was still feeling, wouldn't allow for it. Sleeping in Conrad's arms had been too perfect for regrets.
That didn't mean that he wasn't still nervous about the talk they would have to have. But Conrad hadn't pushed him yet and Yuuri knew he wouldn't any time soon. He would take this morning and enjoy it fully before discussing the thing that would change their relationship forever. The atmosphere was one to be cherished and Yuuri wouldn't allow anything to stop him from doing just that.
He padded over to where Conrad was and smiled at him when the man looked over. The sun streaming through the now open windows chose that moment to create a halo around Conrad's head and Yuuri's breath caught at his beauty. He wanted this man. At the very least he knew that much was true. Yuuri couldn't spend his life second-guessing everything. What would happen would happen. And life was too short for maybes and regrets.
