Reflection

A fanfic, written with no specific purpose. Concentrates on Sasuke's thoughts. KakaSasu, KakaIru and KakaIta. Eventual GaaSasu .

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine

Reflections

Chapter 1: Dreams (Sasuke's POV)

Its another one of those nights... sleepless nights where in I just toss and turn in my bed. So I do what I always do. Go to the rooftop and think... think about what bothers me again.. countless nights its the same thing. I always end up thinking of hopes and dreams . Why should I even bother dreaming dreams that will never come true? Dreams, that haunt me in my sleep, that hurt me everytime they occur. I hate it. I can't breathe. I am the one who put myself in this position, I was the one who caused myself this suffering. How many times have I cried? How many more times must I injure myself just to forget this pain? I loved... I got hurt... and then... I learned to love again.

At first it seemed promising, it felt promising. I thought my love, for once, would be returned. I thought that if... this would end it would me my doing for a cause... demo... I was wrong... So very very wrong. I had felt used. He said I love you but in truth... Loved someone else... I see them now... embracing each other, living in a world where in their love surrounds them. Yes, I see them... saying sweet nothings... holding hands.. holding each other. It's just so sick. What's this? Why am I crying? Is it for him? Or is it for me? I cant stand it. Why did I love the exact same person he did? Why is it me that got hurt and not him? Countless questions without answers come to my head as I hug my knees and let my tears flow. I loved him... but why wasn't he like that when he was with me? This is stupid... I'm thinking to much of the person supposed to be my mentor and my teacher. Kakashi-sensei. The one who loved me and then left me. Nothing is fair in this world, I learned that the hard way. I suddenly remembered what he said to me when I decided to truthfully choose between Itachi and me. "I am your teacher and friend, Sasuke. I'm sorry but... Thats all I can be to you." Fuck you Hatake Kakashi. My chest hurts so bad. The pain I felt back then never left me. It still remains with me. That's why I want to end it all. Take my own life and be done with it. They'd be happier. No one would get in between.

A cold wind passes as I remember the last time we all had a talk. I was there, Itachi and Iruka-sensei too. Actually Iruka-sensei had nothing to do with this. He just got involved because of the gossips that the other upperclassmen spread around konoha. Itachi was the most affected then. I remember what he asked Kakashi... "Kakashi, do you really love me? Or are you just afraid that I will take my life if you leave me, because I am fully capable of it?" At that moment in time I wanted to run because I knew I would not like the answer. "Itachi... If there is only one thing in the world that I am sure of, that would be my love for you." I felt my heart break into pieces right there and then. Without warning my mind goes back into time reliving various memories.

It was night time I was in his arms. I remember asking him "Kakashi, do you love me?" there was silence and then he answered "Of course I do." That was the first night I asked him that and he gave me an answer. An answer that I've been waiting for, for days. "I guess I made you wait too much, didn't I?" I was happy then. My mind took a big step forward to a night of tears. I was with him again, but this time I was looking down. Tears free falling from my eyes. He stood in front of me as I said " Did you do this just because I looked desperate and you pitied me? For God's sake tell me because it hurts so much!" Ten he repeated those lines. "I am your teacher and friend, Sasuke. I'm sorry but... Thats all I can be to you." Another night as I discovered what was between him and Itachi. Yes, they had been lovers for a long time but they broke up because the akatsuki were close on finding them out. Yet even after that Kakashi still loved him and yearned for him... the time he said he loved me. Itachi was a wreck after that and him being my brother... I couldn't stand him looking like that, so I decided to confront him. Itachi and Iruka-sensei didn't know. They were in the academy, the two of them remained undisturbed since everybody had gone home. They were talking about Kakashi-sensei and were trying to persuade me to open up to them. Of course I refused and walked out. I faced him alone telling him that he should talk to us to stop this nonsense. Yet, I couldn't tell him my thoughts and how I felt during that time. I was cut short when he glared at me and said ""You all think that I'm dense! That I don't feel anything at this moment! Well your wrong! Your not the only one suffering!" He stopped at that.

The time did come when we confronted him he told us then "If only I had this thought balloon that you could see... you would see a enormous SORRY there. In bold text" Then I recall uneasiness and Itachi and I glancing at each other. Itachi broke the silence before I could. "You know what? I'm thinking that your saying sorry because... you loved us at the same time...". Itachi's mind was rather clouded after a few days as he made a very rash decision. "I'm leaving... This way... it will all end." "Itachi you idiot! Leaving would solve nothing! Do you honestly think that if you leave it will all be over! That if you leave..." I choked at my own words "That everything will just disappear?" "Sasuke... I..." "Itachi no aniki... Please don't leave..." I fell down on my knees and started sobbing.. "Sasuke... It's all right... I wont..."

Within a second I was back at the present wondering if I did the right thing...

TBC.

B.Samurai: Well... That's the beginning of this monstrous hell of a fanfiction... Actually, in all out honesty this first chapter is a true story... just got inspired... you know and that crap... well... reviews would greatly be appreciated.

Next Chapter: Chapter 2: Observing (Gaara's POV)