Chapter 1

It was the day of the Reaping.

I cant believe that in a couple of minutes I will be forced to go out on that stage with a smile on my face and condemn the people that mean so much to me to death.

It makes me sick to the stomach, mind you I have been feeling a little off center since I arrived in District 12. I`m finding it hard to walk straight let alone think, my mind is somewhere hazy but my feet are somehow on the ground.

A peacekeeper comes to alert me that it`s time. As I walk through the hall and through open doors I am greeted with the sorrowful faces of District 12. At the very front are the ones closest to Katniss and Peeta , Haymitch however lost his family a long time ago, I had been told the tragic story and have always strayed away from talking about his past with him, not that we had a very conversation based relationship, it was bickering more than anything.

I stepped up to the microphone awaiting there arrival, I could feel a thin layer of cold sweat gather on my forehead and my hands were terribly shaky. I couldn't slip up no matter what, I had to control myself and disregard any human emotion. That was the one lesson always probed into us at the Games Academy. I never show anything that would make people think I care, I put on a happy face and pretend everything is fun and that its an honor to be chosen for this, but it isn't. The only time I let myself be open and emotional is usually at night when Im washing off my Capitol mask, no one can hear my sobbing over the shower water.

I see Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch making there way towards me, I cast my eyes downward not wanting to look into the poor girls eyes. Katniss and I have most certainly had our disagreements and at times I have found her to be quite rude, but no one should deserve this.

I get the cue that we are streaming live, I take a deep breath in and begin the introductions. "Welcome, Welcome, as we celebrate the 75th anniversary and 3rd quarter quell of the Hunger Games, As always ladies first". I step over to the glass bowl and reach in to collect the slip of paper that we all know contains Katniss`s name. My face is having a hard time concealing my emotions, thank goodness for the makeup, without the thick white powder people would see the real me. A woman with shadows under her eyes from lack of sleep and hollow cheeks because she barely finds time to eat. I always thought that if one of my tributes won then I would be the happiest woman on earth, a celebrity without a care in the world. But of course my world came crashing down when I heard the announcement of the 3rd quarter quell, I smile but I want to cry, my lip quivers as I read out her name and look back to her to see the single tear sliding down her cheek in silent anguish. I want this to be over, I pick out the next paper that reads either Peeta or Haymitch. Peeta is next to be standing by my side. How did this come to be that the 2 kids I reaped last year, the kids that fought for there lives, the kids that won over all odds are here again, standing beside me, I feel the weight of guilt on my shoulders as I stand with them.

The citizens of District 12 salute there new tributes, the Peacekeepers take hold of Katniss and Peeta and drag them back towards the exit and straight towards the train. I look back and see shock in little Prims eyes, this could be the last time she see`s her big sister and all she would have to hold on to was the vision of Katniss being taken away by guards and shouting mother is stroking her hair with a small amount of disbelief etched on her face, What woman should watch her child being sent to there death..again.

Haymitch and I are still remaining on the stage, so with shaky legs I head towards the door and follow the peacekeepers to the train, Haymitch is not far behind and I have yet to smell one drop of alcohol on him, maybe he was preparing himself to go without it just in case he was chosen.

The one thing I want right now is a shower so I can wash away everything people think I am. There is not one person I can confide in except for Cinna, he is a true friend and the only person who knows me underneath this mask. Portia however has her own circle of friends in the Capitol who I know love to gossip and practically live on knowing and exposing peoples secrets, To tell her anything on a personal or emotional level would be suicide.

Haymitch doesn't like me, I know that for sure. He finds me utterly over the top and brainwashed. He calls me all sorts of rude and unsettling things, most of the time I know its the alcohol that enhances his emotions but he still says it so he must deep down mean it.

We arrive at the station and as I ascend up the stairs the air conditioning is most welcoming, I touch my forehead and realize that I must be running a fever, its hot to the touch but within a few seconds the coolness of the carriage brings an unwelcoming chill. Katniss and Peeta are not here so they must be in there rooms. The doors slide open and Haymitch enters without a glance in my direction, he probably doesn't know im here, he usually chooses to ignore me anyway. I stand up and walk past him, I must also look through the medicine cabinet to see what I can do about this brewing sickness, It is no the time for an escort to falter.

"Hey Princess, whats up with you?" I turn around and try to look as confident and poised as possible "I ,um I guess im just tired". He scoffed "The great Effie Trinket is tired? I didn't know robots had that ability, oh no wait a minute your a clown, that's it, the makeup reminded me. I don't know where I got robot from, must have been the way you enjoyed yourself up on that stage earlier, reciting your perfectly practiced speech to the poor citizens of District 12". I gave him a confused glance, I must have underestimated my ability to cover up my grief at the reaping, the sadder I felt the bigger the smile it seems. "Haymitch, I don't know what your talking about, I will be in my room for the remainder of the night so please do not bother me unless it is something of importance".

"Whatever you say Princess".