A/N: This is my first fan fiction, be gentle with me. I wrote this because I am obsessed with Sherlock. Also, I got bored and decided to whip this up. I am not sure if I will elaborate on the story, it is partly up to you, partly up to your comments, and partly up to my schedule. I do know it is a bit late in the year to be writing this, as Series 3 will be coming soon, but deal, okay. Now, we read.
- S. K. Regan
Sher…Sherlock, H- He's dead.
I…... O….. U
A fraud
Take my hand.
3 Bullets. 3 Gunmen. 3 Victims.
Don't think for one second, that I am one of them.
No, no you're not. You're just like me.
This is my note.
Sherlock!
For me. Don't. Be. Dead.
11 months since the fall. I am broken, the life of Sherlock Holmes is over, whether I can bring it back, I hope I can. Because I think I miss John, I feel collapsed without him, no, I feel worse. I don't know what I feel, honestly, and it infuriates me, I hate not knowing, I hate not being able to understand.
I cannot say life is dull. Sure, it isn't the life I want; I want to be solving crimes with John. But I am occupied; Mycroft's cameras keep me busy. If I can't be with John, then I can watch him.
When I am not watching him through screens, I trail him. It is hard though, not to run out of my hiding place and tell him I am alive. I want to so badly. I can't though, if I did he would die, along with Lestrade, and Mrs. Hudson. I follow him every where, just to see what he is up to. If there is a place I can't go, then I check the cameras; anything, just to be near him, to know that he's okay.
Of course he isn't okay. Even I can see that. He isn't fine, like he tells anyone with the arrogance to ask. In a way it almost makes me feel better. I don't want him to be hurting like this, I want him to be happy. It just lifts me up a bit more to know it isn't just me feeling this way, whatever/however I am feeling. Being me though, I can tell from every detail, he is not okay.
Lonely.
Depressed.
Angry.
Nightmares Returned.
Lost.
Not sleeping well.
Limping again.
Guilty.
That is what I see. I did that, it was selfish, but I couldn't let him die.
Of course, as much as I hate to admit it, I am grateful that Mycroft has given me use of the cameras. He feels bad; I don't know what for, which is irritating, but he wouldn't tell me when I asked. John is mad at him; I know this because Mycroft had tried to contact him. When John finally answered it wasn't pretty; John came over and they got into a huge argument, I still don't what about. Needless to say, it ended with Mycroft's nose broken.
Mycroft won't just let me hide; he made me get a whole new identity: name, job, look, everything. My name is Peter Smith, I hate it, and I have cut my hair shorter, I wear lightly colored clothing, sweaters and ties. According to Mycroft, if I stay away from dark clothing I am less recognizable. I now hold a position at a university as an etymologist professor, studying bees.
Mycroft isn't happy about my chosen profession. It is at the same university John now works at: as an on campus doctor and a teacher. But I like it that way; I can keep a better eye on him.
Moriarty is dead, there's no denying that. But his people are still out there, and they are watching, to make sure. Mycroft is working to get rid of them; he is failing miserably though. Moriarty's second in command, Colonel Moran, is now head of the organization. He isn't as smart, or creative, in fact he's an idiot. Not in the general sense though, he really isn't bright, not by a long shot. He makes up for it in brutality. Moriarty would use his mind to manipulate situations, yes, he is the cause of many deaths, but he did it cleanly, he caused emotional torture. Moran is different, he causes physical pain. The thing is he won't simply kill someone; he will torture them, keep them alive until he gets what he wants. I could handle him hurting me, I wouldn't care if he did that, but if he got John, I don't know what I would do then.
That is why I can't tell John. If I'd let Moriarty kill John, it would simply be a shot to the head. If I let Moran get a hold of him, it would be so much worse. Even Sherlock couldn't handle that; I am no longer him.
A/N: So how was it? Should I go on with the story or make it a one-shot? I have ideas, but I am not sure, so I would deeply appreciate a comment on whether or not I should. Also, I am an American writer so if I make any mistake using (UK)English please correct me.
