Hi hi my little kittens! It's been a long time, i know and i'm sorry but i've been really busy with my studies and i had to travel all around France to pass some important tests. Actually, i'm exhausted and in need of parties :D
During my stay in each cities, i wrote a new story because i didn't have the chapters of PRISONER but don't worry i continue to write this story. The chapter 4 will come soon and is nearly finished so be careful ;)
Coming home is really about feelings and deep love, a change for me and i really hope you will find it interesting.
Please, enjoy! (Like a bonus for the wait?)
CHAPTER 1
The moon rose high in the sky and was shining brightly like the powerful celestial body she was. Some rays of dark blue light pierced the window and fell right on the beautiful raven hair of her lover.
She raised her left arm and gently traced her slim waist. Her skin was so soft, so pale, it should be a sin and her well defined muscles… Mmmm…
Oh what she would give to hold her forever and never let go…
But she couldn't.
She turned around in the bed and saw the time on the clock: 2:00 AM.
She sighed sadly and got up lowly, careful of not awaking her companion. With the sheets tightly wrapped around her body, she began wondering around the bedroom in search of her clothes.
Still silently she got dressed and brushed her hair, unaware of a stirring sleeping beauty.
Said girl opened her eyes and breathed deeply, knowing perfectly what was happening. Despite that, she tried her luck and patted the space behind her…Empty… as expected, but disappointing nevertheless.
She closed her eyes again, swallowing her pain and whispered faintly "You're leaving again?"
The curly brown haired girl in question stopped her movements "You know, I have to go before he comes back…"
"Just some more hours please" pleaded the dark beauty.
"I'm married, you know that"
"I know that pretty well thanks! One fucking night! It's just what I'm asking for, to be able to wake up beside you and not beside an empty cold bed!" fired back the hurt woman.
"Natsuki…" prayed Shizuru facing her lover.
"Leave him, come with me, stay with me" breathed desperately the biker.
"I don't have the choice…" answered the brunette with a sad face and teary eyes.
"We all have the choice" spat the lying girl.
"Natsuki… Please, not again." Begged Shizuru.
"Fine, Go! Get out! Go to him!" cried Natsuki.
Unable to restrain her tears anymore, Shizuru let them fell on her soft tan skin. She stood up, grabbed her bag and headed to her other half.
She bent toward the girl and tried to kiss her goodbye but Natsuki turned her head at the last second, refusing to give in.
Clouded by despair, Shizuru kissed her beautiful strands of raven hair and murmured longingly "I love you, I love you so much mon petit coeur" and left.
The door closed and Natsuki broke in sobs and tears... Heartbroken once more by an nth argument with her soul mate.
Have you ever been in love?
Not the sweet and kind one but the real love, the passionate and ripping one. Just like the ancient Greeks thought: something so strong, so hard, so consuming, it could be dead dangerous; a passion like no other.
A love which eats you from the inside, a love which blinds you from everything, a love which makes you crazy with want and desire, a love which can send you into oblivion in one little minute.
It seems you can't survive without your lover, you're jealous as hell, you just want to hold her/him forever and ever, you want skin to skin contact, in fact you crave it. You discovered your romantic side more pronounced than ever and you would die for any of her love words.
It's the meeting between ice and magma, it's an explosion between your souls, it's a constant firework in your mind but you melt every time she/he comes near you.
It's so intense.
It's unavoidable.
It's fate.
But at the end, you wouldn't change it for anything else.
And I, Natsuki Kruger, the former Ice Princess of Fuuka High school, fell in the depth of the passion.
I fell so deeply with no other than the great, successful and amazingly beautiful Shizuru Viola.
Meaningless, what I am about to do is going to kill a part of me.
You see, she was forced to marry with the heir of the Kanzaki's Empire to assure the alliance of the two best company of Japan.
An arranged marriage where she couldn't say anything because her parents didn't believe in true love and more particularly in me. Well, how could their dreams of great success and unlimited wealth be if their biggest asset turned her back to them to be with me, a simple daughter of a French mechanic and German woman exiled in Japan who just began a new lingerie company with little success in Europe?
That is the question. That is the problem.
So we bypassed it. During the last two years, she came see me late at night and left early in the morning, she stayed at my apartment when he went to business trips, she made up excuses to phone me longer or hold me more.
We hated, we loved, and we hid, always in the dark but we were together and that was what was important.
But now? Now as she left me once again just like the last two years, just like the last 730 days, it hurts.
It hurts, it hurts us, and it hurts me. Too much.
And I can't bear it anymore, it's splitting my inside in two. I don't want to live like that, I don't want to wait in the dark eternally.
I don't want to be hurt anymore, I want the pain away.
I have to take my life back and move on. I need to take the lead of my future. It's not just a want, it's a need now.
My health and my sanity are at sack, it has to stop. We can't go on like that.
I open my eyes and I know when the first rays of the sun light my face and warm my freezing cheeks that I take a final decision.
I look at the clock, 6:00 AM, I shake my head softly and get up to shower. I send a message to my close friends and tell them to meet me at 8 o'clock at Mai's coffee shop because I have important news to announce.
I grab my leather jacket and helmet and go to my bike without even one last glance at the crime scene.
If I can't have you beside me, if I can't hold you when I want, if I can't be with you, I will have to learn to live without you.
The worst of it all? Now, I understand you more: I don't have a choice and it's killing me.
8 o' clock
I push the door of the coffee shop and to my surprise, all my friends are already here, even Nao with worried faces.
I try to smile in greeting but seen their heads, I didn't succeed…
I sit on the bar's stool and take a deep, deep breath, ready to spill it out.
They watch me silently but curious and still worried as if I will tell them my imminent death. Well, almost the same.
"I'm leaving" I state bluntly.
"WHAT?!" they all shout in unison.
"I'm leaving Japan and going to France."
"What the fuck mutt?! Did you hit your head or something?" Nao asks dumbfounded while Chie and Mai continue to gasp mouth wide open.
"Don't start Nao" I growl "I need to leave, I have to conclude some deals and control my company directly at the base to hope expand my subsidiary."
Before Mai or Chie could answer, Nao narrows her eyes and hits the bar with her fist "BULLSHITS Natsuki! And you know that! I am your friend-"she mentions to the others "- we are your friends, do you think so poorly of us to lie like that? Don't we even deserve the truth?" her frustration grows double when she sees the destroyed look of pain in her best friend's eyes "Oh god, is this because of her?!"
I look away, ashamed of my tentative to hide my feelings but what can I say, bad habits are hard to quit.
Thinking about Nao's speech, about my current love's situation and everything, I break down again. I succeed to stammer between loud sobs and sharp cries "I…can't….it's..too…hard….i'm…dying ..slowly..I'm sorry"
Mai reacts immediately and cradled me in her motherly embrace. She rocks me slowly whispering sweet nothing in my ear "It's okay Nat, it's okay. We will be here for you, everything will be okay, I promise"
Chie grabs my hand and caresses it softly with her thumb and Nao? Nao is fuming with pure rage "I knew it! I knew she will destroy you!" "I swear, I swear I will beat some sense into that bitchy Kyoto woman-"
"Nao! Please, don't …" I cut her almost inaudibly.
She slumps in a chair and turns her head to hide her tears and escape the bright sad emeralds which are begging her to stop.
I calm down a little and speaks again "I need a fresh start, to begin again and I don't want anything to remind me of her. I will let this part of me die here"
"When do you want to leave?" demands Chie
"In two hours, I already got my ticket"
Mai's hug tightens and she begins to cry too. Nao refuses to cross my eyes and continues to stare at nothing sadly while Chie shakes her head "So soon?"
"It's now or never Chie"
After one hour of intense cries, hugs and ripping goodbyes, we decided to part to let me finish my last chore.
I throw my head back and look at the sky. I close my eyes and reopen them a few seconds later. I take my phone and slowly compose her number.
The ringing resounds during 2 or 3 minutes before her answering machine comes.
I sigh, as usual, she didn't answer, it would be too much of a clue… Funny don't you think?
And once again, I don't have the choice (twice in one day, it becomes really annoying to not control anything), so I let her a message… Smooth and charming to 'break up' I know, but what can I do? She doesn't answer my calls, I can't meet her without an official appointment and we're not supposed to meet before god knows when.
So I let her a message and I thank the karma 'cause maybe for once, things will be easier.
"Hey Shizuru, it's me. As usual you didn't answer my call so here I am, talking to your phone. But at the end, it's funny (I let a nervous laugh escape my lips but I steady myself quickly,) in some way it makes things easier. I don't really know how to tell you this-"my voice begins to crack and my husky tone tremble "-I can't do this, I can't pretend everything's right anymore, I'm not happy anymore-" with my last words, my huskiness disappears and I am almost whispering, hurt and pain evident "-You and I…it hurts. It hurts mon amour, it hurts to love you and it hurts so much more to not be able to love you fully at the same time. And I just realized that it's not normal. It shouldn't hurt. I can't bear it anymore, the vision of you leaving me in the morning for him. I can't bear the thought of him touching you, kissing you and only god knows what you let him do. I can't." all the frustration, all the pain, all the longing are clear in my voice maybe they are worse than my words "-So I'm leaving Japan, I'm leaving you and I'm leaving a part of me with you. Je t'aime, je t'aime tellement que s'en n'est plus possible*-» despair takes over me now "-But don't worry, I will never find someone like you, I will never love someone like I do you. I will never forget you or try to replace you. It's useless because it's impossible. Nevertheless, there is something i will have to do… and it's to learn to live without you…"
I think my last sentence is the more intense and deep because I pour all my love in it and surely, they are the last words I will ever tell her...
"Shizuru, ma chérie, mon amour, mon ange, mon coeur, mon bébé, mon tout, mon âme soeur, ma moitié, l'amour de ma vie… Adieu.**"
One hour later
I wait at the airport, ready to go and restart everything. I just took a little bag with all my important papers and one change of clothes. I don't want anything from my past, I will just have to buy another set of clothes and stuffs. It doesn't matter, it's just material after all.
Suddenly, I hear the last call for my flight. I stand up and with one last glance at this country, I spot my three friends fifty feet away.
Finally, they came to say me goodbye.
I grin, happy to know that I still have people in my life, real friends and I realize this grin is the first real smile I wear in months.
Maybe it's a sign, a good soothsayer for my new life, I don't know, but I like that.
Before I step across the final door between I and the plane, I turn around and I yell "NAAOO!"
"What's up mutt? Miss me already?" she shouts backs smirking
I laugh heartily "Burn my old apartment!"
She gives me two thumbs up and adds "You can count on that butt-head!"
And with that, I climb on the plane.
TBC…..
*Je t'aime, je t'aime tellement que s'en est plus possible = I love you, I love you so much it's unbearable.
** Shizuru, ma chérie, mon amour, mon ange, mon coeur, mon bébé, mon tout, mon âme soeur, ma moitié, l'amour de ma vie… Adieu = Shizuru, my dear, my love, my angel, my heart, my baby, my everything, my soul mate, my other half, the love of my life…Farewell.
So, what do you think about this chapter? Did you love it or hate it ?
I decided to mix French and English a little more for the next chapter but i will always translate, i hope you will adore it.
I think it will be a short story nearly 3 chapters.
Don't forget to review, i love to read them ;)
See you next time!
Kisses.
