Everything you recognize belongs to the brilliant SM


Every day in this rainy little town was just the same.

School. Work. Chores.

Homework. Sleep. Repeat.

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

Every day just the same.

Every rainstorm like a song on a loop.

Every sunrise and sunset a fast-forward and a rewind.

I'm not sure which anymore.

Am I stuck in the same place?

Am I moving forward or going in reverse?


x


"What are you writing about?"


It wasn't the words that caught my attention but the hand flashing across the page, disrupting my view. I look up from my notebook to see Quil and Embry lumbering up to our little group.


Claire lights up every time she sees Quil. She's been like that since she was a kid. He's always been around and she's always been in love with him, even when she didn't know it. The obnoxious one who can't stand for the attention to be anywhere but on him is Collin, or is it Brady?

I can't keep them straight. They're not actually twins, just brothers but all of the boys are like that around here, especially the ones that run around together.

We call them the "Pack" as a joke. They're all super muscled and super hot. All the girls on the reservation drool all over them and fall at their feet. Except me. I have no interest in the Pack. And I can't seem to get away from them.

Oh, I'm Amaya Song. I'm originally from the Makah tribe but my mother moved here when she left my father two years ago. She says we came from here but we don't seem to have any family in the area. My only friend here is Claire. She moved here from the Makah reservation when she got to high school.


I didn't really intend to have any friends. I thought if I refused to make any friends that mom would move us back home. But Claire didn't give me a choice. She ran into me that first day at school and just wouldn't go away. The Pack came with her.


"Hello? Earth to Am?" "Go away Collin." "Ouch, she bites." "Leave her alone, man. You know she'll kick your ass before breakfast." "School's about to start, she should have already had breakfast." "Quil, make them be nice to Amaya." "Cool it boys." "We didn't do anything!" "She's the mean one."

"Shut up, the both of you. Go pant at someone else's knee." They looked like I had smacked them, then they looked like they wanted to smack me. I didn't mind. I'm not entirely sane these days and I don't care who knows sometimes. So long as they don't interrupt the day-to-day anyway. But you can always count on Quil and Embry to keep the peace.

Embry chuckled, "She's got you boys pegged. Go on to class. If you're late again Sam will have you running circles until your legs fall off." "Claire, I'll pick you up here after class and take you to the library to work on that history project. Amaya, would you like to join us? You're partners, right?" "That's right. When is that due?" "Thursday. You promised you'd actually help this time." "Fine. I'll text mom and let her know." "You should come stay with me tonight after. Aunt Emily won't mind." "I don't know Claire." "Come on, you keep putting me off but I won't have it. If you don't come over tonight I'll force you to come to the bonfire Friday and spend the whole weekend with me and my family." "I'll come over tonight." "That's what I thought."

Quil was smiling down from his lofty height of 6'3" when Claire turned and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I didn't wait to watch their mushy goodbye but picked up my notebook and headed through the drizzle to class.


I didn't sit with any of the boys or Claire in our three shared classes before lunch thanks to assigned seats. It was a nice reprieve for all of us. I was always grumpier between meals and never afraid to take it out on the nearest person stupid enough to speak.

I don't particularly like school.

It isn't that it's difficult. It's not. But I get bored.

I don't like being forced to conform to what society demands. I want to be free to sit where I choose and wear what I want and dye my hair whatever color strikes my fancy that morning.

I don't want to rebel just for the sake of rebellion. I don't think. I just want to keep my options open. I want to be able to choose.

My mother tried to tell me what time I had to go to bed once so I disappeared for a week. I didn't actually go anywhere. I was in the attic the whole time. I just don't like being told what to do. Once she gave me my freedom I made the mature decision to keep her informed of my whereabouts and what time I would be home. She doesn't have to worry about me. I know what I'm doing. I don't need a babysitter.

And I don't need some dried up educator telling me what color my hair has to be for me to learn something either. Because my hair being blue really affects how I do math. Seriously.


Either way I was exceptionally grumpy leading up to lunch.

Then I realized I forgot my lunch and lunch money. So no food for me. Great.


Groaning and cursing myself three ways to Sunday in my head I went to my corner table and sat pulling out my very abused notebook and my favorite pen and flipped to a semi-clean page and began writing furiously, letting my frustration pour forth as words onto the page.