A/N: Hello awesome readers! I'm back! You've waited long enough so I'll cut to the chase here's the deal...
This is the sequel to Heaven or Hell. If you haven't read that then you probably won't get this.
Just like in H/H, S. Meyer still owns Twilight and Edwardrocksmysocks is still the awesome beta who makes my chapters readable.
Enjoy the story! (longer a/n at the end. Please read.)
Chapter 1
"No, you hang up," Edward teased from hundreds of miles away.
"We aren't that cheesy are we?" I asked with a laugh.
"Of course not, love."
I grinned at the term of endearment as my feet kicked back and forth in the air. I was the image of a love sick teenager as I laid on my stomach holding my phone to my ear as though the meaning of life would come pouring through it.
It had been a month, almost thirty agonizing days, since I had last seen Edward and each day made me question the choices I had made in Washington. Had I chosen differently I would be lying in Edward's bed on his bare chest while his hands trailed up and down my back.
"So what are you wearing?" I asked in a sexy tone.
Edward's loud laughter echoed through my head.
"I thought you were worried about being cheesy?"
I couldn't help but laugh with him, although I was at the point where I could almost consider phone sex a viable option. I hadn't felt Edward's touch since the day after the wedding when we had to say our emotional goodbye.
The line went quiet for a few moments before Edward spoke up.
"Move in with me," he pleaded with me just as he had every day for the past month.
"Nope," I declined again.
A frustrated growl rumbled over the line.
"Fine then, I'll move there and live in Florida," he groaned.
Edward hated the idea of moving here for a number of reasons but was willing to sacrifice his life in the city for me, for us, because we are an us now.
"So how would you like to live? We can spend the day playing Bingo and Shuffleboard with the rest of the retirees or if you prefer, we can spend our days at beachfront frat parties and our nights in crowded clubs," I sighed.
Edward would hate it here. I wasn't the biggest fan but the beaches were beautiful and I could always find inspiration for my novels in their clear waters and warm sands.
"Surely it's not all that one sided…well two sided, but you get my point. I'm sure it's a fine place to live," he said in an exasperated tone.
"No, it's really not that bad, but I refuse to let you give up your career to photograph birthday parties and weddings. What a waste."
"Bella, I love you but when did I tell you to start deciding what was best for me?" His voice was kind enough but his words put me on the defensive.
I bit back the sarcastic remark about the last decision he decided to make on his own when we were together. I had forgiven him, which meant not constantly bringing up his mistakes. However, I couldn't completely control the thoughts that entered my head. I was a work in progress.
"Edward, I'm not trying to take away your free will. I know you'd be unhappy here and that would make me unhappy." I tried to share some logic with him.
"I'm unhappy now," he whispered.
Apparently he was as well versed in logic as I was. I didn't know how to respond.
"We just got back together a month ago. This is all still very new despite our history. It's just not what you're supposed to do."
"Says who? No, better yet, who cares? Come on move in with me." He spoke in his best whiny child voice.
"No can do, buddy. I have a house, a job, family, and friends here."
"You can have a house here with me. You can write anywhere. We can visit Charlie and Renee whenever your heart desires, and Bella you really don't have that many friends there." He was teasing about the friends part although it was fairly accurate.
"I just planted an orange tree outside. Who's going to tend to it if I'm not here?" I said in pathetic desperation.
My excuses were beginning to grow thin and we both knew it.
I don't know why I was so resistant to the idea of moving in with Edward. Every night I went to bed longing to be in his warm embrace and every morning I woke up wishing he was beside me.
There was something terrifying and fairly anti-feminist about dropping my entire life and all my plans and moving a thousand miles away for a man, even if that man was Edward Cullen.
"You're over thinking things, Bella." His velvety voice sighed.
"Am not," I muttered like a child.
"Are too."
"Shut up," I growled.
I heard a grunt of frustration and knew we had once again hit the wall that was becoming a staple of our late night phone calls.
"How's the writing coming?" He asked half-heartedly.
"It sucks. Every time I try to put words down they come out dull and lifeless." I sighed as I flipped onto my back.
"Really Bella, that doesn't tell you anything? I know you miss me as much as I miss you." He responded with continued frustration. I could picture his hand tugging roughly on his hair.
I had forgotten who I was talking to, apparently. Even with our three year hiatus Edward still knew me better than anyone who walked on this Earth and would recognize the source of my crap writing.
"Stop pulling on your hair Edward. I know I miss you too; doesn't change anything, sorry."
"Why are you being so damn stubborn?" He growled.
My head rocked back and forth against my comforter while I tried to calm my anger.
"Why are you being so pushy? I waited three years for you. You can't give me a few months?" Obviously I hadn't succeeded very well in tempering my aggravation.
I heard Edward taking deep breaths over the phone. I knew that was a low blow but it didn't make it any less true.
"Bella…Like you said we've been apart for a long time and now I have you back but I need all of you. I'll move to you if you don't want to come here. Why do I feel like I'm the only one in this relationship who wants to make this work?" His exasperation was prominent in his voice.
"I just need time," I said in a whisper. "I want us to be together but this is still new. Can we just play it by ear like we agreed upon?"
"Fine, but know that I'm not going to stop trying to convince you." There was finally a hint of a smile in his tone and that made me smile.
"I would expect nothing less."
From there our conversation became lighter as we discussed our day and random current events. Eventually our laughs turned into yawns and we said our 'I love yous' and hung up.
I fell asleep that night the same way I had every night since my return, restless and alone.
Morning came too early and I began my day in the same sense of blah as the day before.
After showering and a load of laundry I drove the three blocks to my parent's house to visit with mom. I sat on the front steps while she pulled weeds out of her flowerbed.
"When are you going to give in?" She asked interrupting my story about the traffic I was caught in yesterday.
"What?" I asked confused.
"You heard me. This is getting old. Don't get me wrong baby girl I love seeing you every day but I'd rather see you happy, even if it is less frequently," she said as she pulled a strong weed from the soil.
"Not you too," I groaned.
"What? You'd be so much happier sweetie if you'd just stop fighting it and give in and move to New York." She pulled off her dirty gloves and sat beside me on the steps.
"Don't you see mom? That's just it, the idea of 'giving in'. He left me and moved to New York. Now years later we're back together and I'm supposed to drop everything and follow him to the place that stole his heart when it was mine. It doesn't seem fair for me to have to sacrifice my life for his mistake," I whined.
She shook her head at me and pulled off her big floppy hat.
"You and your father's damn pride," she sighed. "Fine then, ask him to move to Florida. I much prefer that scenario anyway." She smiled brightly as though she had discovered the cure for the common cold.
"He'd hate it and he'd end up resenting me for ruining his career. He's right where he needs to be," I argued.
"Well then Bella what is your suggestion?" Her tone clearly indicated she had heard enough.
"What would make you happy because right now it doesn't sound like much would?" Her frustration only fueled my own.
"I don't know, okay. I don't know," I said with clenched teeth.
"Well you better figure something out soon because the last time I checked you can't give me grandbabies through phone sex," she said as she climbed off the stairs and returned to her dirt.
I stared off into the horizon with pursed lips and a metaphorically bitten tongue.
"You're not helping," I said as I pulled my car keys from my pocket and headed for my car.
"Well neither are you," I heard her mumble as I slid into my leather seat.
I should have called Esme, better yet Alaina. My own mother wasn't even on my side.
I didn't want to go home so I drove to the beach. After very little searching, I found a parking spot near white sand and pulled over. I grabbed my beach bag that had a permanent spot in my backseat since my first week in Florida.
I stumbled my way onto the beach and pulled a blanket out of my bag. I let the wind whip it up and down before laying it flat on the warm sand.
I sat down and let the sun warm me before pulling out the yellow legal pad that was full of the mindless dribble I had been working on lately. None of the writing was good enough to take the effort and type it yet.
I rolled the back of my favorite pen back and forth between my teeth as I watched a young boy and girl, probably around ten years old run after each other along the beach.
I scanned the sand and found four adults sitting on beach chairs smiling at the pair.
The kids ran back and forth, kicking sand as they went along. They were so happy and carefree that it made me ache for my youth with Edward. The simplicity of childhood is something that can only be appreciated in retrospect.
Things had been so much easier when we were younger. Edward and I would be whatever and wherever we needed to be for one another, no questions asked. That was before careers and mistakes were made.
I couldn't help but wonder what would be so terrible about me making the sacrifice and leaving for New York. I was already destroying my own joy by staying here, not to mention Edward's.
I sat down my paper and pen completely sure that writing anything worth reading was not going to happen today. Instead I pulled out my cell and began texting.
Thinking of you –Bella
I quickly sent it to my favorite contact and kept my phone in my hand hoping for a quick response.
Only good things I hope. –Edward
Of course. I miss you. Call me tonight? –Bella
Don't I always? Until then, love you.-Edward
I smiled at my phone before putting it away and grabbing a book from my seemingly bottomless beach bag.
I soaked up every bit of sunshine I could knowing that this could be one of my last chances to enjoy it…since fall would be here soon. I couldn't even make myself believe my own thoughts. I knew why I felt like this would be my last chance to enjoy this time at the beach and it had nothing to do with the most likely mild weather that would be heading this way soon.
As the sun sank lower in the sky I packed up my belongings and headed home.
My house was quiet and calm when I made my way inside. I threw my mail on the counter and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.
I paced around my living room trying to think of something to do. I had never so uncomfortable with solitude as I had been the past month. Nothing seemed appealing. I logged on the internet only to realize that after checking my email there was nothing else I cared to do. I turned on the TV and caught the end of Dirty Jobs only to find myself feeling annoyed by having no one to discuss the show with.
Finally—with an audible huff—I decided to throw on my running shoes and beat my agitation out against the asphalt. I ran longer than usual in hopes of getting a decent nights' sleep.
When I returned I ate a quick sandwich and took a shower. I sprawled out in my bed listening to soft music and waited for my phone to ring.
At 9:15 my prayers were answered and I flipped open my phone as soon as the screen lit up, not giving the ringtone a chance to go off.
"Hey sexy," I purred into the phone.
"Well hello to you too gorgeous," a sultry voice cooed.
"Oh it's you," I said, trying to hide my disappointment.
"Gee thanks doll, love you too." Rose laughed.
"Sorry, I was expecting Edward," I mumbled as I settled under the comforter and Egyptian cotton sheets, one of the few splurges I allowed myself to make.
"Oh, I see how it is. So how are things going with lover boy anyway?" She asked before I heard her crunching on something over the line.
My initial disappointment was overshadowed by the fact that I could talk to Rosalie. If anyone would understand my feelings about leaving Florida she would.
"Not so great. Well I mean things are good but he's still harping on me about moving north." I sighed as I programmed my alarm clock.
"Aw, and you still don't want to?" She questioned with a mouthful of something.
"Are you eating when you're talking about the epic stress ball that is my life? I feel rather unimportant."
"Shut up. It's a carrot, the epitome of serious conversation food. Now talk," she demanded with a loud crunch.
I regaled Rose with my pathetic tales of woe and waited anxiously for a response.
All I got was a chomping noise.
"Rose…hello? Focus on me for just a moment. What should I do?" I sighed dramatically.
"Um…stop being a little bitch and pack your shit." Based on the tone she used she should have ended her sentence with a very mature 'duh'.
"'E tu Brute?' I expected you of all people to go all 'I am woman; hear me roar' and understand the weight of the situation."
"Bella do you know that in our home dinner is on the table every night before Emmett gets home from work? I keep our house clean and pack his lunch for him in the morning before he goes to work."
I stayed silently not only because I was a bit shocked but also because I had no idea how this pertained to anything having to do with me.
"And?" I asked after a minute of dead air.
"And, do you think I'm any less intelligent or strong because of this?"
"Um no?" I hedged.
"Of course not and quite frankly even if you did I wouldn't give a shit. Emmett knows I'm not one to be walked on or ruled but me doing those things for him makes him happy and him being happy makes me happy. Who gives a shit?" She finished with another crunch.
"Yeah, that's nice Rose but how is that supposed to pertain to me?" I rolled my eyes thankful that she couldn't see me.
"Ugh, the point is, You make sacrifices for the one you care about and if anyone thinks less of you because of that then screw 'em," Rose said matter-of-factly.
I took a deep breath and tried to process what she was telling me. In her own deluded and mildly self defensive way she was telling me to get over my hang ups.
"It makes sense but, even more than the actual sacrifice what happens if it all ends up being for not? What happens if he just decides-"
"What if, what if, what if? What if you grow a set and take a chance. You've forgiven him now it's time to work on the forgetting part. Forget about the past and move forward," Rose said with finality.
Before I had a chance to respond my phone beeped in my ear letting me know I had another call. I read the name and smiled widely.
"Hey Rose, I got another call. Can I call you later?" I asked with exuberance.
"Sure thing, tell Edward I said hello," she said before we hung up.
"Hello love."
The sound of his voice made my already wide grin even bigger.
"Hello to you too. How was your day?" I asked eager to begin our hour long conversation.
"Not bad, though it would have been better if I had woken up next to you." He sighed.
"I feel the same way." I tried to hide the guilt in my voice.
"Do you?" He asked with what sounded like worry.
"Of course. I miss you very much. Maybe sometime soon I could come visit your or you could come visit me."
"Really? That would be fantastic. God I can almost picture it, seeing you again. I promise you I can't wait." He chuckled lightly.
"Good, me neither."
"Move in with me," Edward said playing the same old broken record.
"Edward…can we just go one day without discussing this. It's only been a month. Who moves in together after dating for a month?"
"Two people who have been in love with each other for damn near their entire lives and can't stand to be apart even an hour more than they already have," he said in one long, annoyed, breath.
"Anyways…" I began trying to change the subject. I could be in New York right now, eating delicious Chinese take-out with Edward. Maybe he'd let me eat it off of him. Probably not, he's entirely too much of a neat freak.
Edward's velvety voice broke through my inner ravings.
"I'm at a serious disadvantage here baby."
I knew I was in trouble. He was using the voice; the one that makes my breathing hitch and my nerves hum.
"Why is that?" I said in a breathy voice. I was pathetic, how his voice could elicit this strong a reaction was beyond me.
"Well if I was there with you in Florida I could unleash the power of my 'smoldering eyes' and have you bend to my will instantly." He struggled with his suppressed laughter.
"You eavesdrop on one slumber party and still can't let it go. Give it up, I was fourteen and had probably read it in a book somewhere!" I said with irritation.
"Is that so?" A clearer, smoother voice said from behind my door.
A/N: Yes, yes, I know i'm pure evil. ; ) Don't worry the next chapter is finished and will be sent to the Beta after everyone has had a chance to read, review, and get teased.
A couple of things I wanted to let you know. Like I mentioned, I will still be doing teasers for reviews. Which means you need to click that button and bring on all the Bella bashing that I know is coming my way...so I can reward you for it... Bring it on. I'm not scared.
Oh and because I enjoy both twilight trivia and fic recs I've started a little game. In every chapter I will have a Twilight quote hidden, although some may be tweeked a bit to suit my needs. Anyways, the first two people to mention the quote I used in their review will get to rec some awesome author that they think everyone should be reading. I'll start us off with...
Keeping The Faith by Holly1980: August 29, 2005. Hurricane Katrina reeks havoc on the Gulf Coast & submerges New Orleans under water. Bella Swan is determined to bring the city
and the music back. Along the way she may just find love in unexpected places. AH,B&E,OOC,Drug use mentioned
I love her Edward and the story is very funny. However, if you own a Justin Bieber t-shirt or you have a favorite Jonas Brother, you're probably too young to be reading her story or mine so don't do it.
Alright, well I've missed you guys so let me hear from you!
