A/N: Many thanks to my muse Jislane, whose idea this was. This one is all for you!

I do not own The Big Bang Theory


"So, you don't think this will be awkward for you and Sheldon?" Penny has been walking on eggshells around Amy ever since she and Sheldon had broken up four months ago. It had been mutual, no real love loss… there had been no love to lose between the two really. She had admitted that she had this whole fantasy version of Sheldon in her head, one where she molded him into who she wanted him to be. Essentially, she made the mistake thousands of women make in thinking 'he's perfect, if I could change just this one thing'.

So, after months of being together Amy straight out asked him the night of Bernadette and Howard's wedding if he ever saw them advancing to something like that and he told her no. He likes her, but doesn't love her and they should probably end it right then and there if that was what she wanted from him. He would be remiss in his responsibilities as her friend to stand by and let this continue. Just as he would have been remiss all those years ago and still to this day in not voicing his disapproval of Penny and Leonard's 'relationship'. Neither situation was going to meet the expectations of its participants.

Amy snorted as she finished zipping the back of her bestie's dress up, amused at her friend's continued concern. "No. We are good friends. Besides, I'm bringing Stuart."

Penny snapped around to Amy's face, almost knocking one of her lamps down in the process. "Stuart?" She studied the brunette's face for a minute seeing something she never really saw there before, satisfaction. "Well, Amy Farrah Fowler, you have something you want to share?"

Amy blushed and turned so her blonde goddess of a friend could zip the dress she helped her picked out. "I am told it is unladylike to recount my amorous activities." She bit her lip. "But, I can always make an exception for you if asked outright." She never really considered she would be having this conversation. She didn't want to just blurt out everything and feel stupid. Somewhere in the process of sleeping with Stuart she's become very aware of her social standing within her group of friends. She was however unaware she was speaking these thoughts aloud.

"You slept with Stewart!" Penny was like a kid in a candy store in her excitement for Amy finally getting touched, never mind laid. She snorted. "So you've been attracted to him all this time and had choose Sheldon?"

Amy shook her head no. "That didn't really fully develop until Sheldon and I had ended. Back then, I had wanted Sheldon and Stewart was fine for all I knew of him but I suppose I was just subconsciously using him to make Sheldon jealous. It worked marvelously too." She mused.

Penny shrugged, turning to her mirror to finish the touches on her make up. "Whatever. Though I have to admit…" she was thoughtful for a moment. "I thought he would have been jealous back when you took Leonard to that wedding with you."

Amy snickered. "He might have in some respect, I know he warned Leonard to not take me down to his level. But he didn't really perceive Leonard as a serious threat to his claim on me, and he certainly never saw it on his claim on you." She could have kicked herself, she wasn't supposed to say anything under penalty of facing Bernadette's wrath. And crap, here comes the fiery blonde entering Penny's apartment and bedroom now.

"Amy!" Bernadette admonished. The two had planned to broach this slowly, very, very slowly because as repressed as Sheldon is, Penny is much more so when it comes to her obvious attraction to Sheldon. With a sigh, she turned to Penny knowing what question she was being silently asked by her eyes. "Penny, we all know Sheldon is into you even if he can't face it."

Penny stood stalk still for a moment and then burst out in a cackle of laughs so strong amused tears streaked her mascara. "Oh," she turned to her mirror trying to get her giggling under control and her face cleaned up. "You two really got me for a minute."

Exchanging a look the two girls flanked her strategically so she couldn't escape them both and Amy started up again. "Come on bestie, you know you have feelings for him."

Penny snorted, these two really need some lessons in love. After all, one just started getting laid and the other… is married to Howard. "Yeah, no. If you haven't noticed, Leonard and I are still trying to figure out if we are going to continue with our beta test."

"Exactly our point. Why do you think you are actually dating Leonard, started dating him to begin with?"

Penny didn't understand the question. "Because I like him?" She furrowed her brow, that didn't sound like such a confident answer even to her own ears.

Bernadette snorted. "You sure? Think about it. When was the first time you considered Leonard in that way at all?"

Penny thought back to her first moving into 4B. "Well, when I first met them." She stood taller, more confident in this answer at least. "He was just explaining Sheldon's craziness and…" Oh, frak.

Amy sidled up a little closer to her friend knowing an epiphany was setting in and she was starting to not regret breeching the carefully crafted plans of 'Operation: Don't Scare Penny with the Shenny Truth'. "And…" she gently urged on.

Penny's face was set in horror. She remembers that day perfectly. She remembers seeing a short guy and a tall blue eyed man approaching her open door. She remembers being incredibly impressed by Sheldon's board and his beautiful mind genius. She remembers trying to get him to sit next to her… flirting with him. Then, he showed his crazy and while admittedly a tad charmed Leonard started looking a whole lot more appealing of her neighborly options. This was long before she and Sheldon had become such close friends. "Oh son of a!" She stormed through her bedroom door and straight into her tiny kitchen of the apartment she's two weeks behind in paying the rent. Right on her fridge, the bottle of white wine that needs to be poured down her throat this instant.

Amy and Bernadette shared a sigh and followed Penny's trail to see her now perched on her blue sofa taking wine straight from the bottle only half dressed for tonight's banquette. This is why Bernadette had carefully crafted the timing of this with Raj. Of all the guys, he's the only one who could possibly see all the romance in this. He did come up with the term 'Shenny' after all. "Penny."

"What?" She snapped. "Don't treat me as if being irrational right now isn't rational." She was fairly sure she could understand what she was saying. "There is no human way other than alcohol to deal with the fact that in three short minutes I just realized I mostly dated Leonard to try to make Sheldon jealous." She paused and looked at her bottle. "I think I'm gonna puke."

She didn't have a chance. Knock. Knock. Knock. "Penny."

'Oh frak, it's started. Not tonight Sheldon, don't keep me on my schedule tonight.'

Knock. Knock. Knock. "Penny."

Knock. Knock. Knock. "Penny."

She sighed and let Amy finally pry the bottle from her hands while Bernadette tried fixing her hair hurriedly. She must look a mess and was glad for their help because she didn't want Sheldon wondering what was going on in her head right now. "Hey Sheldon." She kept her tone neutral answering the door. This was simply too much to take in right now. She was supposed to be going to a banquette, as his date because she and Leonard had decided to cool it on the beta test for a bit as they reassessed what they felt on it and Sheldon was obligated to bring someone 'female and human' tonight 'whether or not she is paid to be there'. "What can I do for you?"

Sheldon looked at her, pleased she was being polite. Usually when he interrupts her female grooming rituals she is less than civil. "I simply wanted to inform you that we will be leaving in twenty five minutes and you asked to be given ample notice."

She bit the inside of her cheek. Why the hell hadn't she ever before seen she found that practicality endearing? Sure, he's a wackadoodle. He has his crazy schedules and quirks… lord does he have quirks. But he picks up on the tiniest hints, like when she said she wishes she would remember to set an alarm for herself when getting ready because time always slips from her. And here he is, her alarm. "Thank you Sheldon. We will be on time."

He nodded and stepped back into his apartment across the hall.

Penny watched him go and closed her own door, staring at the back of it before she turned to face her friends. "What the hell do I do now?"

Amy offered a lopsided smirk, for once she had advice her friend couldn't offer. "You do what is effective, you find a guy to make him jealous." This was entirely uncharted territory. She never had to go after a guy like Sheldon, hell there isn't a guy like Sheldon out there. How exactly is she supposed to win over the soft kitty singing super genius next door? You know, the one who has no real use for human relationships?

Penny sighed. "Yeah, well apparently years of Leonard didn't work and neither did any of the other guys I have been with." She thought for another moment, remembering the one man that did seem to work against Sheldon, at least for Amy. "And Stuart is taken." She sighed, feeling defeated by all this already.

Bernadette tisked at her friend. "Penny, Sheldon is probably entirely unaware he even has feelings for you. If you want him to realize it you have to put a real threat out there and Leonard is not it. Let's get ready, get to this function and find you a real threat to parade around with."

Penny thought on that. They are suggesting she pick up at guy at one of these university gatherings. Even the cute guys there are no challenge for her to pick up. She could probably find someone who could make Sheldon jealous. But, did she really want to go down this road, for Sheldon? Could she really want Sheldon? She sighed and returned to her mirror staring at herself in assessment. For years she has known she and Leonard weren't exactly right for one another. She didn't want to give up on the one good guy she ever had. But that isn't fair to him either is it? He's a good friend and wow… what a bitch she would be if she seriously let him settle down with someone who is settling for him. He deserves more, he deserves to be really happy and so does she.

Could that happiness be with Sheldon? The man that drives her insane? Doesn't understand innuendo? Have sex? Touch people? But then, he does hug her sometimes. And he does have emotions they are just different from what others have. He doesn't succumb to lust and when she made that list of things she wants from a potential partner in her Cosmo last month didn't she list that very same trait? Someone who doesn't do things for her just because they want to get into her pants? He's never tried yet he still helps her like a real, true gentleman. His mother had raised him to be just that.

"Penny?" Bernadette cautiously approached, wondering what was going through her head. She could understand the shock. Realizing you have feelings for someone after seven years of friendship, that years of an on-again-off-again relationship with a different friend were the subconscious result of trying to make Sheldon jealous… well, it's a lot to take in. Hell, just falling for Sheldon is a lot for someone to deal with. "Penny, are you ok?"

Penny simply nodded until she heard Amy chime in. "You know bestie, it's a good a plan as any. Might not work but so what? You go on a date or two with someone you might like anyhow."

She shrugged, she had a point there. "I suppose it couldn't hurt could it?"

Her friends responded in unison. "Not at all."

–T—B—B—B—T—

Sheldon hadn't yet seen his date for the evening. The women-folk and Raj had decided to take a separate car to the awards banquette to chat. He supposed they were discussing their reproductive cycles or Amy's recent decent into the vulgar world on non-procreative coital activities. Raj claimed that last time he went on one of their feminine excursions he leaned a great deal even if he can't speak to them. So, after an excruciating ride listening to Leonard upfront moan on how he doesn't think he and Penny should be together after all he was quite pleased to see his 'date' for the evening, even if he was forced into taking someone for that position by Dr. Gablehauser.

So, he walked right over to Amy's car as they all climbed out, surprised and confused as to why he noticed his resparation pattern become interrupted when taking her in in her blue dress, tall silvery heels and her golden hair flowing naturally along her shoulders. "Penny, might I say you appear to meet society's established standards of beauty this evening?"

Great, in his Sheldony way he called her beautiful. Just what she needed. [sarcasm]. "Thank you Sheldon. You look handsome in your suit." The same suit she had helped him pick out years ago, the last time he received an award of this importance. Maybe she should be nicer tonight and not let him drink so much wine he loses his pants… unless that was with her. 'Shut those thoughts off Penny.' Her rational mind warned her. 'Not gonna happen until you enact your plan.' Besides, she didn't fully think she was ready to picture kissing those soft and delicate lips or what Sheldon could do with those limber piano fingers coupled with his thorough knowledge of anatomy… 'I said stop thinking about it!' She had to will herself to control her thoughts. Oh, how she envies innocent Sheldon's ability to do just that. For once she understood his desire to emulate Spock.

Sheldon examined her face for a few silent moments wondering why she seemed in pain. 'Perhaps she is not receiving enough fiber in her diet. I should offer her a selection from the high end of my cereal spectrum.' He turned to her. "Penny," he offered her his elbow, as he was taught in cotillion. His mother had been less than pleased when she found out he hadn't been treating Amy like a delicate flower when they had been dating and lord knows he doesn't want to face that lecture again. "Are you ready?" He steeled himself for her contact. He was used to her by now, he's hugged her enough where he is most likely immune to her corn-husking germs. She, however hugs and kisses everyone she meets and so could carry all sorts of infections to his delicate immune system. That, however is far more easy to face than his mother and frankly, Penny would end up taking care of him anyhow when he gets sick.

She felt her breath catch at Sheldon being a real gentleman and offering his arms and to be kind to him she only grabbed at just inside the elbow. It was enough to mark a claim on her date which served them both, as he really didn't want to be accosted by more graduate students and for her to keep him single. While she goes off and finds a guy… this was messed up. All of this was messed up! Sheldon, her… does not compute. Yet here she is trying to find a way to get him. "Thank you Sheldon."

Once past Dr. Gablehauser's scrutiny as to why Penny was there with Sheldon and not Leonard, she was released to go find herself an alcoholic refreshment while Sheldon carefully tried to stake out the best seat at their assigned table. On her own mission, Penny decided now was as good a time as any to meet up with her girls to stake out the men in the room. She was told in the car that while Sheldon will certainly take ascetics into account as they generally appear important to Penny, he is only really going to be threatened by someone who is as smart as he is and who is a leader in his field, as Sheldon is. But, it was noted that there are simply no physicists which could compete with him. There are however some promising options in some of the other respectable departments.

"What about him?" Bernadette pointed to a tall, dark skinned professor of geology. He was cute, and Penny could see herself as picking him up but Amy nixed the idea. "He's from the geology department." She chided them with an eye roll. "Sheldon would find nothing threatening in that."

One eligible man after another was chosen and shot down. They were running out of men! It was even discussed on whether or not Gablehauser would be perceived as a threat, but no one wanted to even think much on that. "I'm gonna go grab a drink. Sheldon is probably ready to send a search party for me." Penny sighed, unhappy that she wasn't finding a man tonight.

"What's got you so down Miss?" The bartender sidled closer to her, leaning on his elbows across the bar. If he weren't obviously gay she might even try to pick him up tonight she was so desperate to not feel like a loser right now.

She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "You would think in a room almost full of men I could find a good one wouldn't you?"

He nodded emphatically. "That is something I can relate to. Unfortunately, none really swing my way. So what is it you are looking for, maybe we can keep an eye out for one another?" he winked.

She smirked and giggled. "Cute, dark hair." She smiled, she really did love brunettes. "Smart as hell and I suppose it wouldn't hurt if he was a little shy but not a total jerk."

He chuckled a bit and pointed out Sheldon. "Well, I would have said him but I remember last time I saw him at one of these. He might not be a full jerk but he's certainly quirky… though I think he's cute."

She burst into a snorting laugh which caught the attention of a few people nearby. "Yeah, he is. But he's the guy I'm trying to forget right now." Hey, if she can make him jealous while with someone whose company she could enjoy… the more power to herself.

Gary, the bartender took another look around. "Well, I did see someone new today. He didn't chat me up much. Ah, there he is."

When Penny followed his line of sight she was taken aback for a second. He was cute. He smiled, talked to people. She could tell he was intelligent just by the crowd he was wooing. "Give me the deets bar man."

He chuckled and shook his head, relieved to find a normal person among the geniuses. "He's the new big fish. Some chemistry superstar."

"Hmm, superstar? How big we talking here?" She crossed her fingers hoping he might solve both her problems.

"Oh girl! He looked your way."

She set herself into flirting mode as she watched him approach from the corner of her eye. He was fairly short, a bit taller than Leonard which is fine. He had a great head of dark silky hair, no glasses hiding his deep brown eyes, pale as Sheldon… lord she really does have a thing for her lank physicist doesn't she? No matter, she found this guy's shy grin awfully cute. "You're new around here aren't you?" she asked after he hadn't said anything for a few minutes, just sitting at the bar. That was a low to her self esteem.

He smirked lopsidedly. He had wondered if he imagined her flirty smile earlier. "I am. It's a bit overwhelming in here, sort of my unofficial introduction to the faculty."

She turned on her smile, the one that charms a whole room and took only a quick look to see what Sheldon was up to. Purposely trying to ignore a waitress, yes that was his style. "It's not my crowd either. I'm here with Sheldon Cooper. His friend." She quickly amended. She wanted this guy to see she rolls with the brainiacs but not think she was taken.

He looked her over. She was pretty, kind, got his crowd. Maybe she could be a nice distraction from the heart ache which is his last break up. "Could I buy you a drink?"

And just as she accepted, Sheldon came looking for her. "Penny, please tell me you are not overindulging in alcoholic beverages this evening. At your usual pace that would place you at having imbibed 3.6 beverages which would place your approximate blood alcohol level at—" he stopped when he was abruptly manhandled by Penny into standing close to her seat.

"Sheldon, this is…" Crap, she didn't even get his name!

The newcomer smiled and didn't bother putting his hand out, he heard all the warnings on Sheldon Cooper. "I'm James Gordon, the new head of the Chemistry department."

Penny, who had been watching Sheldon during this introduction for reaction, snapped her gaze to him. "You're head of the department?" She asked in genuine awe. This guy was impressive, he couldn't possibly be older than Sheldon by a year or so. "Wow." She pawed at his forearm.

Sheldon started turning beet red at seeing his date feeling up a colleague of his and grabbed Penny by the arm as the announcement for dinner sounded off. "Please refrain from your attempts at coitus for the rest of the night." He half whispered half yelled into her ear as he held out her seat at the table, unaware as to why he could feel fleeting anger evident on his face.

Taking one good look at Sheldon's reaction to her gentle half flirting with James and Penny knew she found her man for the job. After playing Sheldon's date for the evening she would have to make sure to stake out Gordon again and get a date set up.

She had to thank Amy, Bernadette and Raj. This was a really, really good plan.