Dedicated to Leesha, who is my inspiration.


"Am I not good enough for you?" she asked. Booth sighed, running a hand through his short hair. He didn't know what to say to her. She came to his office every day, bringing him presents and declaring her love for him. He smiled weakly, fidgeting with his suit for what must have been the one hundredth time since she had come into his office. "Why aren't I good enough?"

"Look—" Booth started, but she shook her head. Tears began to stream down her face, and her cheap eyeliner and mascara began to pool down her face. Alarmed, Booth leaped up from where he sat on the edge of his desk, darting to the chair where she sat. "Hey, hey," he murmured, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I never said that, all right?"

Fat Pam sniffed, and rubbed at her runny makeup with the back of her hand. "Then why do you keep hanging around her?" she demanded. "That stupid scarecrow—" she began, but was cut-off as Booth reached one of his large hands to cover her mouth.

"Shush," he stated quietly, but firmly. Some of her black-tainted tears dripped onto his hand. He sighed, removing his hand. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a white handkerchief. "Here," he told her, extending it.

Sniffing again, Fat Pam reached for it, dabbing at her plump cheeks. "Thanks," she replied, her voice choked with emotion.

"Listen, Pam, I know it may look like Brennan and I are a… thing," he stated hesitantly. Immediately, Fat Pam's eyes shot up, staring down Booth intently. What was he saying? Fat Pam had had temptations before to just go and shoot Dr. Brennan, but she had resisted those urges. She had come quite close, too. However, if Booth told her that he and Brennan were together, she might not be able to stop herself.

"Then what are you?" she asked coolly. Booth sighed, once again running a hand through his hair.

"I am nothing with Brennan," he announced. Fat Pam didn't believe any of that. She scowled.

"Then why are you always hanging around with her?" she demanded.

"I have to! She's my partner! She means nothing to me!" Booth replied defensively. Fat Pam glared, clearly suspicious. Booth sighed, leaning toward Fat Pam in a way to make goosebumps spread across her soft flesh. "Would you believe me if I told you that I can't stand Dr. Brennan?" he asked seriously and softly. She could smell his musky scent when he was this close to her. She made a mental note to research what kind of cologne this was.

"I wouldn't believe you," she replied flatly. Booth hesitated, pondering what to say.

"I don't know how to say this," he began slowly. "But… I love your company here. So much more than her."

Fat Pam blinked, wiping her black-stained cheeks with his handkerchief. "What?"

"I love having you come to visit me. I love coming to my office, knowing that you'll be here, waiting for me," he confessed, locking eyes with hers. "Brennan would never do that for me."

"Brennan was always a dirty bird," Fat Pam whispered, disbelieving what she was hearing. "She would never have treated you right, Seeley."

"Which is why I think you could be the only girl for me," he replied, reaching out a finger to one of her fat tears. He brushed it away.

"Really?" Fat Pam asked, her eyes widening. Booth smiled, leaning into Fat Pam, capturing her lips with his. Fat Pam closed her eyes, savoring the sensation and scent of her dream man.

He broke the kiss gently, pulling away to look deeply into her eyes. "I love you, Fat Pam."

She smiled, not replying as she bent towards him to kiss him again. She would buy him another Caribbean cruise. Anything to show him that she loved him just as much! There was no way Brennan could love him that much.


There you go. A Fat Pam/Booth oneshot. Hopefully I won't get shot too badly. Hahaha. And if anyone caught my reference to the movie "Misery", you get extra brownie points. I swear, Fat Pam reminds me so much of that lady in "Misery" that I had a major bout of deja-vu. Hooray for my first Bones fic! Maybe I'll do a real one next time.