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Kuran kaname did not know much about himself . He was told , he had to be told what his name was . Ren often took it upon himself to reveal a lot more than was necessary , Ai would always scold him for it , exclaiming ' Ren , stop ! Mother told us not to talk about it ! '

Whenever they spoke to him about the past , he went silent and listened , seemingly teleporting to a whole other world . Everything in his head , life and heart was a jumbled mess , threatening to suffocate him .

Just as he was about to call it a day , turn the lamp off and sleep , someone knocked on the door .

Ever so softly , almost imperceptibly , his eyebrows twitched in curiosity . Did Ai want something ? The former ancestor briefly wondered before turning his head to face the door as he gave permission for the girl , his daughter , to enter .

Much to his surprise , the person stepping inside had not been who he'd expected .

" Ren ? " kaname spoke up softly , gently , no hint of distaste evident in his tone or expression altogether , just a never-ending reserve of serenity .

He had never really been alone with the young boy before , Ai had always been there , filling the void made by both of them . Neither talked much after all .

Besides , Ren had that imperturbable vibe about him , always looking calm and distant despite having a certain warmth , a vague sense of purity and kindness . It often reminded kaname of Angels .

So , to see the same boy looking slightly flustered and awkward about his actions despite having been one to seek the elder out , had not been expected at all .

" I have always wanted to try this ."

Kaname's chocolate brown orbs wandered all the way up , to the pillow and blanket the young boy held in his hands , the sight giving him enough answer without needing to ask what those words implied.

" I have wanted to .. With him.. " the silver haired younger uttered ambiguously . He , however , knew his point would get through without him having to elaborate further .

He was always being careful not to mention his father in front of Ai or within her earshot .. Biological or not , she'd loved him from the bottom of her heart .. He sometimes found himself suspecting the facts because of it . It felt like .. Like it saddened her more .
Don't get him wrong , He did treasure his father beyond words . And from what he has heard , Zero kiryuu was someone you'd regret not meeting .

As his son , Ren could always feel that dull pang , that ache ,that unsettling emptiness growing inside of him whenever he recalled the fact he never got a chance to see him . He was gone before he could .

His father had been condemned to suffer since birth . His childhood had been tainted , he's seen his parents getting murdered in front of his own eyes and could do nothing about it .. He was ready to give his life for his twin . He had to face the shock of learning it was no coincidence but a scheme plotted by his other half, the person he was ready to die for , Ichiru Kiryuu ..

He had to live with the pain of becoming .. No , being turned , against his will , to the monster he has been raised to hunt . He had to survive , alone, in a world that deemed his existence a mistake , a disgrace , a ticking time bomb , a D .

He had to see the one person he came to love getting snatched away from him .. And when he finally got her back , it had to be so fleeting . He raised the child of someone he once thought of as an enemy , the reason behind all of his misfortune , and yet he was denied the privilege of meeting his own son .

The amount of unjust my father had to suffer never failed to tug at my heart strings , my veins and brain cells . Ren thought with an inconceivable amount of pain plaguing his heart .

And yet I still feel that Ai's feelings for my dad are a whole other story . After all , he'd fathered her and not his own son . She has to live with the fact she's never going to see him again .. our mother too , we'll never see her again .

Nonetheless , I have learned to find consolation in the fact I can't lose something I never had . Perhaps that's why I always felt my love for him lacked in comparison to that of Ai's . she had him and lost him .

" come here , Ren. "' Voice like velvet , The elder urged , outstretching his left hand to the said silverette , snapping the said out of his thoughts .

Just one look at the extended hand , coupled with the gentle expression kuran gave him , was enough for the last shred of strength to come undone . The silver haired young man found himself falling , like silk , to the ground , crestfallen and overwhelmed , until he registered a certain sensation .. the same gentle hand that has once pulled him closer when kuran first woke up , revived as a human . That was mother's wish , after all . A bitter smile found its way to his lips at that .

Kuran Kaname has reached forward , softly brushing his fingers through the younger's delicate silvery strands , a color he knew was not inherited from her , the woman claiming possession of his dreams and memories .

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