Disclaimer: I do not own J.K Rowling's characters or Relient K's song Curl Up And Die.
Curl Up and Die With You
Harry was curled up in a ball on their bed as he tried to keep his breathing even. Draco would be coming home from work soon and he needed to be strong when his life partner walked through the door. He need not have to worry about Harry along with every thing else that was going on. It just wasn't fair to Draco in Harry's opinion.
Draco never had been a person to be open about his feelings and therefore Harry thought that he didn't want any kind of emotion. So Harry tried hard, very hard to not show Draco what he was feeling. At times like these he found it impossible.
Ron had sent him a letter stating that he was no longer alive to him, all because of Harry's love for Draco. Ron had to be one of the last homophobic people left in the wizarding world. Even half of the muggles were okay with it if it wasn't shoved in their faces. But Ron stared at Harry as if he had murdered someone when he kissed Draco.
So Harry curled up on his bed while hugging a pillow against his knees, while his knees pressed in to his chest. He tried to calm himself down and missed the sound of the door opening and Draco walking in to their manor.
Draco was a strong man. He had tried with Harry but lately it seemed like he was being pushed away. It hurt Draco to know that Harry was slipping so far away from him and he had no idea how to fix it.
So when Draco walked into their bedroom to find Harry curled up in a ball clinging to himself, looking so alone, it tore through Draco like a dagger.
Draco had been trying to understand Harry better lately and this just confused him more then anything. He had been looking into Harry's dreams. A very private thing but Draco was beyond scared about Harry's reactions to him. Though the dreams had shown him nothing of what Draco assumed Harry now felt towards him.
"Harry, what's wrong?" Draco whispered more scared of the answer then he had been of anything else. He assumed the worst as Harry shrugged and tightened his grip on the pillow.
"Have I done something?"
"No." Harry answered shortly, surprised at himself for two reasons. First he had managed to find his voice while it seemed to have been falling away from him for a while now around Draco. And secondly because he wouldn't share this with the man he loved.
Draco moved to sit on the edge of the bed and was aware that Harry flinched away from him. He felt himself start to cling to the perfection he thought their relationship was in hopes that he could find control somehow. Maybe then Harry wouldn't feel like this. Whatever this was. Though Draco thought it had to do with Harry wanting to leave him but scared to tell him. He placed his head in his hands as he felt his eyes fill with tears. As he said his next sentence.
"If you want I'll move out so you don't have to. I can see it just hurts you to even see me. So I'll leave you alone and be out of here in an hour." His voice cracked as he said that last line.
"Why would I want that? Your then one who no longer wants me. . ." Harry whispered, sadness filing up every word he spoke.
"Harry I don't want to leave you. I love you. But your pushing me away and I can't stand to think that I'm making you so unhappy that you can't even share what's wrong with you."
"I'm not trying to push you away. I love you and I don't want to lose you but I know you don't like emotion so I'm trying to be strong like you and hide it." Harry said as his lips started to get heavy as he continued to try to hold his emotions in.
Draco let a tear fall as he moved to kneel next to the bed so that his head was just a foot away from Harry's face. "I don't want you to hide or pretend who you are. Don't ever change the way you are. I have never loved anyone more. I may not be good at showing my emotions but I love you. And I am kneeling here crying from the terror that is filling me right now knowing you don't know that I need, want, and love you not anyone else."
Harry lifted his head to look Draco in the eye and then let his own tears fall. "I don't ever want to leave you." He sobbed.
Draco climbed up on the bed next to him and hugged Harry tightly. Kissing his lips as they both laid their crying in the others arms.
"Tell me what is wrong. Why are you so upset?" Draco whispered once he had control back over his emotions.
Harry opened his eyes to find Draco's molten gaze starring in to his heart, Harry couldn't refuse that honest love in Draco's eyes. "Ron wrote me a letter saying our friendship is over because I love you," Harry whispered mournfully. "And I know you don't care."
Draco didn't know what to say. He didn't care about Ron. In fact he hated Ron for putting Harry through so much misery if Harry didn't follow Ron's rules. But he would never tell Harry that. Draco, unlike Ron, loved Harry enough to put up with his least favourite person.
"Harry, love, I can see that this is killing you. And you never had to hide it from me. I love you. But I don't mind if Ron loses you as his friend that's his lose. I know that you care you've been friends since you were eleven and if I ever had someone like that I wouldn't want to lose them either. I also know that I have done all this to you. If I hadn't been so in love with you, you would be able to keep your second family. Truthfully that would not matter to me at all. I would be fine if we never saw them again but I know the same does not apply to you. I can see it hurts you so much. So I guess that I'll curl up and die too." Draco whispered.
Harry stared at Draco with awe. "I know I haven't been the best lover and lately it feels that I would rather be anywhere but here but know I love you and I won't ever leave you. I'll be here for forever."
"I love you too." Draco smiled. "And I'll curl up with you until I die with you."
This was slightly based off of two things:
The depression which felt worse over the past two days and Relient K's song Curl Up And Die especially the chorus.
But I don't mind but I'm not surprised to find that you do
You see I know that I have done all this to you, to you
And I feel fine
But I know the same does not apply to you
Yeah, I know the same does not apply to you
So I guess that I'll curl up and die too.
So thank you for reading and please review.
-Attention Deficit
-Laura
