Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note if I did L would still be alive T.T and Light would have sex with him everyday
lol Light on L hahahaha. Nor do I own Emily Dickinson's Poems.
Warning: This story contains, Yaoi/Shounen-Ai,
If you don't like Yaoi than don't read
AN: this is the very first fan fic I've ever written EVER(this was written when I was Fifteen) so please don't be hard on me if you don't like it ok and there aren't any Lemons until the second chapter so if you want Lemons then read the second chapter too and all the chapters for that matter not just the first one cuz I worked hard on this so please continue if u like it, Oh and I wanna thank my Sister BomberBrat for editing this for me without her my grammar would be horrible. No, really it would have, She is the Grammar Police. lol enjoy
Chapter one-Secret Crush
(Let me not mar that perfect dream
By an auroral stain,
But so adjust my daily night
That it may come again)
L was sitting the way he always did with his knees hugged tight to his chest, still chained to Light who was asleep. L almost never slept, when he did it was only at 3 hours at the most(it was all he needed). He watched Light as he slept,wondering what kissing him would be like.
'What am I thinking,' L thought, 'he's Kira how can I have feeling for someone who's a cold blooded murderer.' He continued to stare at Light who was still asleep. He wanted to hold him so badly, but was afraid that he would wake up and punch him. L had never felt this way about anyone before, Light was his equal in intelligence and logic.
'It would be a great disappointment if Light-Kun is Kira, but he has seemed to have changed ever since I locked him up in that prison for thirteen days, it's almost as if he's completely lost his memory of being Kira,' L put his thumbnail to his mouth, 'If Kira's power does pass from person to person wouldn't you still have the memories of being Kira. It just doesn't add up, even Amane-San seems to have lost her memory of being the second Kira, if she ever was that is; hmm...I'll just have to look into this case even further to figure this out.' Light had finally woken up after L had waited for nine hours, Light noticed L staring at him as he awoke.
"Ryuzaki, have you been watching me sleep this whole time?" he yawned.
"Yes, I'm sorry does that bother you, Light-Kun?"
"No, not at all it's just a little strange thats all."
"Strange, how so?"
"Never-mind, forget about it, Ryuzaki," Light got up from the bed and started to get dressed. L watched Light as he rose from the bed , he was in nothing but boxers. 'His body is so beautiful,' L thought, ' he has such a nice figure.' Light turned around.
"What is it Ryuzaki, your starring again."
"Sorry, I was just lost in thought," L looked up at the ceiling.
"You seem to be lost in thought a lot lately."
"Is that so?"
"Yes."
L was silent and got up to stand right next to Light.
"Shall we go to the investigation room, Light-Kun?" L said trying to change the subject.
"Sure," Light sighed.
In the investigation room L sat at his computer trying to find more about Kira as always. He poured himself a cup coffee and added exactly 20 sugar cubes.
'Hmm...what are you planning right now Kira,' L thought and took a sip of his coffee. As he took a sip, out of the corner of his eye he could see Light starring at him.
"Whats wrong?"
"Huh?" Light looked surprised to see L looking straight into his eyes.
"You've been staring at me for quite some time."
"Sorry Ryuzaki, I was just day dreaming."
"Hmm, really?" L smiled, " I guess I'm not the only one that stares then?"
Light turned away from L to hide the blush on his face.
"LIIIIIIIIIGHT," L flinched when he heard Amane-San's perky voice.
"Hey, Light I'm glad to see you," she squealed.
"Yeah, same here," Light smiled, but L could tell it was fake.
L watched the two of them talk, but he didn't pay any attention at all to what they were saying, he just wanted Amane-San to leave. She was nothing but a annoyance. How can Light be with someone who has nothing in common with him and is a total moron?. '
He should be with someone like me,' L thought, 'W-wait what am I doing, I can't choose who Light-Kun dates, besides he's Chief Yagami's son as well as another investigator in the Kira Case,' L closed his eyes and listened to Light and Misa's conversation.
"But Light why can't we go on a date outside the office!" Misa whined.
"I'm sorry Misa, but Ryuzaki won't unchain us, so it's going to have to be here."
"Fine," She pouted.
Light turned to L.
"When would be a good time Ryuzaki?" Light asked.
"Hmm...in about an hour would be fine, I'll have Watari bring cake when we're ready to go." Light looked disgusted when heard the word 'cake' , so disgusted that L thought he would throw up at any moment.
One hour later they went up stairs and sat on the couch with Misa across from them. There was an awkward silence until of course Misa had to open her loud mouth to brake that silence.
"Ugh, this is the worst date I've ever been on," she complained, "We can't even kiss with Ryuzaki here, Light."
"It's alright I don't mind watching," L grinned, he was trying to annoy Amane-San on purpose, but then he realized that she hadn't touched her cake.
"Are you going to eat your cake Amane-San?"
"You're a pervert," she crossed her arms. The grin from L's face faded.
"Well, you may call me whatever you like, but I'm taking your cake," L reached over to grab Misa's cake. As L ate, Light started to talk to L about the Kira case and all L said was that continuing the case any further was a waste of time if he wasn't Kira, it was risking their lives for nothing. Light got up from his seat while L took another bite of his delicious cake.
"Ryuzaki."
"Huh?" PUNCH. Light punched L in the face and the raven haired man flew in the air.
"NOOOOOO..." Misa screamed and then stepped in L's cake, "Ewww," she whipped it from her foot. L was getting frustrated, Light growled about how if he's just going to give up now then why did he involve innocent people? Why just quit if he and Misa weren't Kira? Light grabbed L by the collar of his shirt. The raven haired man got angry, he told Light that he had his reasons, but then he crouched down and kicked Light in the face 'one for one' he called it. They both went flying in the air and landed on the couch that flipped over as they flung themselves onto it. L sat up and explained to Light that him equaling Kira and Amane-San equaling the Second Kira would not solve this case that's why he was a little saddened was it not allowed to be a human?
"No, it's not, but from the sound of it, its as if your not satisfied unless I am Kira," Light looked straight into L's eyes.
"Not satisfied unless your Kira, that may be true, but what I have come to realize is that I wanted you to be Kira." Light growled at L for saying that and gave him another punch to the face. They continued to fight but then got interrupted by a phone call. The raven haired man answered it. It was Matsuda bragging about Misa, L hung up.
"What was that about?" Light asked.
"Nothing Matsuda's just being stupid again."
"Ah, that's not a surprise." L looked at Light.
"I'm sorry that I suspect you of being Kira Light-Kun, but like I said I have my reasons."
"And what reasons are those, Ryuzaki?"
"Its complicated, lets just get back to work shall we?" L gave Light an innocent look.
"Yeah."
"Wait!" Misa whined, "What about me?" L glared at her.
"You can come along if you want, but you can't talk," L told her.
"Fine, Whatever!" Misa pouted.
L nodded as a response of good. They got back to work, but L and Light didn't talk to each other, let alone look each other in the eye. It was like that for awhile when they did talk it was only about the Kira case. A few days later L and Light both hit each other in the face again, but this time right in front of everyone, which they had to break off. L couldn't take the stress Light was giving him anymore he decided to talk to him when everyone left. Finally, after six more hours they were alone.
"Light-Kun, we can wrap things up for today its already late, let's go to bed."
"Alright." Light was pulled by the chain to go upstairs with L. The raven haired man opened the door and they walked inside. L choose their bedroom to talk in since there were no cameras.
"Light-Kun, I need to talk to you."
"Hm, about what Ryuzaki?"
"I'm really sick of us fighting, and ignoring each other, except when it comes to the Kira case, I wanted to apologize."
"Oh, well apology accepted, but can I ask you one thing Ryuzaki?"
"Yes, what is it?"
"What did you mean by it, when you said that you wanted me to be Kira?"
"Oh, yes that, well its just that the way you act sometimes just seems like a Kira like personality to me and..." L paused for a moment, " you just seem TOO innocent to me sometimes."
"TOO innocent?" Light repeated.
"Yes." Both were silent for awhile, Light asked another question, breaking the awkward silence.
"One more thing, Ryuzaki, why do you sometimes watch me when I'm alseep?" L smiled.
"That's complicated too Light-Kun."
"Well, then what do you think about when you look at me?"
"I'm not quite sure, I don't understand it myself, so it would be very hard to explain to you, but one thing I think about is something I want, Light." L could see Light shiver when he didn't hear Kun at the end of his name. L turned to the door and locked it not even looking back, as he turned around to look Light in the eyes. He walked towards him.
"W-what is it that you want Ryu-? Light was cut off by L's lips. L's heart pounded in his ribed cage. He pulled his lips apart from Lights.
"All I want is you, Light."
( The heart asks pleasure first,
And then, excuse from the pain;
And then, those little anodynes
And then, to go sleep;
And then, if it should be
The will to its Inquisitor,
The liberty to die)
