This is the begining. Its not going to be funny cause it's the opening. But it will get funny in chapter 2 and up. Bella is a vampire. And the thing with Emmett's car will be a chapter in here somewhere. :) So read Vampire IM.
:)

Chapter one: Alice Builds A Fort.

I was so bored. Man, I get to bored now a days.
That's when I got my idea: I'm going to built a fort. Out of cardboard, so Emmett will not bug me.
It was going to be genious!!

"BELLA!" I screamed.

"Yeah?" She said walking in.

"Let's built a fort."

"Ok!" She said.

"Out of cardboard, of course."

"Repel's Emmett, eh?" She said grinning.

"Duh."

"Let's get Jasper and Edward in here to help" She said, looking around the HUGE empty basement.

"I hope Esme doesn't mind us using the basement as base" I said.

"Yeah." Bella grinned.

"EDWARD! JASPER!" I screamed.

They appeared.

"What?" Jasper asked.

"OK!" Edward said, grinning.

"What?" Said Jasper.

"We're building a HUGE cardboard fort." I said.

"Sweet!" He said.

"Now, let's get some cardboard and start building!" I said.

--1 hour later.

"It's... it's... IT'S FINISHED!" I screamed.

"We should put our laptops in there. Along with all that furniture and the Flat screen." Bella said.

"Yes!" I screamed.

"Whatcha guys doin in here all toghet- AH! CARDBOARD! IT BURNS!" Emmett screamed, running back up the basement stairs.

"It works!" We all shouted.

"Now lets complete it!" Jasper said.

"How? It's already perfect" Edward said, "Anything that repels Emmett works fine"

"Not really," Jasper said.

He took a pink sock and a stick and some super glue.

"Wow Jasper" I said.

He smiled.

"What?" Bella asked.

Jasper glued the sock to the stick and the stick to the box. And took a marker and wrote "Fort Alice" on the sock.

"Oh! GENIOUS!" Bella said.

"Now, let's get scheming" I said, grinning evily.

We all ran into Fort Alice.

Yeah. That's how it starts. :) Next chapter up in a few. It's going to get funny.