Then You Look At Me

Chapter One

Spokane, Washington

June 1st, 2000

Rose DeWitt Bukator, 18, stepped out of her sliver Honda Accord and stared at the building in front of her. She smiled when she thought what would happen the moment she walked inside. Tryouts for "Romeo and Juliet" were today, and Rose was all set to become the star of the famous play. Since she had found out that her drama school was going to be holding auditions for the play they were going to perform at the end of the summer, Rose had been busy learning and perfecting every single line of Juliet's in the play. Most of her friends thought she was crazy for getting so excited over Shakespeare, but Rose didn't care. She was glad school had let out the week before and that she now had the entire summer to focus on acting. Rose had been one of the forty-two students who had graduated from Gonzaga Prep, a very privet (and expensive) high school located in Spokane. She and her mother, Ruth, had lived in Spokane ever since Rose's father had died back in 1994. For those past six years, Rose had been a student not only at privet schools, but also at the Warehouse Theater, a very highly recommended drama school. Sighing happily, Rose grabbed her purse and shut the driver's side door. She felt like she was in heaven as she walked through the big glass doors and into the entryway of school. Practically skipping, Rose found her way into the theater, where about three dozen other people were already seated in the plush deep-purple seats. She sat down in the back of theater and looked at the stage. The curtains were up, but other then that, the stage was bare. Rose watched as a few other people; mostly teens and young adults filtered into the theater and took their sets. A few minutes later, two of the acting coaches walked in and stood on the state. "I would like to have everyone's attention!" Mr. Lawrence, one of the best male acting coaches around, shouted, getting everyone's attention immediately. "Thank you," he said after all the talking had stopped. "Now, I assume all of you are here to try out for Romeo and Juliet. Now, this is how this audition is going to work. Mrs. Lewis and I will give you a script and you will read a section for us. We will start with the least famous parts, working our way up to those people trying out for Juliet and Romeo. Now, would the people trying out for the following please stay. Extra Capulets and Montagues, Arba, the watchmen." Mr. Lawrence went on to read the other parts, calling people for about seven parts in all. "Would all those not trying out for this part, please wait in the cast room below the stage until we are ready for you audition." About half the people got up and left all filing down into the cast room. The cast room was a place where the actors could get dressed, put on their make-up, fix their hair, do whatever before their tern to go on. Set up in one corner of the room was an intercom, where the actors and actresses could hear what was going on out stage so they wouldn't miss their queue. That, of course, was not on right now. Rose sat down at one of the many vanities and looked in the mirror, making sure her hair was all on place. "Hay Rose!" a voice behind her said suddenly. Rose turned and saw a girl from her old drama class coming up and sitting next to her. "Hi Linda," Rose said happily as she looked at the short girl. Linda was the only person she knew here besides Mr. Lawrence and Mrs. Lewis. "What are you trying out for?" she asked. Linda smiled, "Only the nurse. Let me guess, you wanna be Juliet?" Rose laughed, "Yep. Why don't you try out for the part too? You're very good at reciting Shakespeare." This time Linda laughed, "Are you kidding? Me, play the most famous girl of all time, from the most famous couple, of the most famous play of all time? Ha, that's funny. Besides, with people like you and Mary Anne Wittmore trying out, I don't have a chance in hell." Rose winced when she heard Mary Anne was trying out. She hadn't seen her here yet, and was hoping she wouldn't be here at all. Mary Anne Whittmore was one of the best actresses in Spokane. She had starred in Hamlet, Chicago, West Side Story, and about ten different little other plays that the Warehouse Theater had put on in the past five years. Mary Anne had this long brownish-blond hair with these fabulous brown eyes. The only thing that most people didn't know about Miss Wittmore though was the fact that she was snob. A mean, non-caring, selfish little snob that people only liked for her acting. In fact, most people didn't see the nasty side of Mary Anne. When she was out on stage she was as sweet and caring as an angel was, but when you really got to know Mary Anne, you learned to stay away from her quick. "Is Mary Anne here?" Rose asked worriedly. Linda nodded gravely, "Sorry babe, I say her walk in at the last minute." Rose sighed, "Great, there goes my change at Juliet." Linda laughed, "Rose! Geez, you're a wonderful actress! You can beat Mary Anne. Just believe you can and you will." Rose looked at Linda and smiled. "Maybe you're right," she said sighing.

Rose and Linda chatted for a little while longer until the people trying out for the nurse were called up. Linda said goodbye and then left, with Rose calling 'good luck' after her. It was not a minute after Linda left when someone sat down next to Rose. "Hello, Rose," a syrupy voice said. Rose mentally groaned, as she looked Mary Anne in the face. "Hi Mary Anne," she said in the nicest voice she could muster right now. "So, who are you trying out for? Lady Capulet?" Mary Anne asked, laughing at what she had thought was a joke. "Ahh, no. I am gunna try out for Juliet," Rose said, getting madder and madder at Mary Anne by the second. Mary Anne sighed, "Oh come on Rose. Why are you even trying out when you know they'll pick me?" Rose gave Mary Anne an evil look. Her patience was getting very thin. "Because I want too, Mary Anne." Mary Anne laughed, "Okay, yeah, whatever. I'm going to go talk to the boys trying out for Romeo now. I'll be sure to wave to you from stage when you're sitting out in the audience on performance night." "Gee, thanks," Rose called. Mary Anne turned and gave Rose and nasty look before she joined a group of boys. Rose shook her head and sighed. She really hated Mary Anne. She closed her eyes and tried to think of other things. Mentally, Rose went over all of her lines that she was saying for the audition. She had decided to do the scene where Juliet finds out Romeo is dead. It was dramatic, there were some wonderful lines, and it was short and sweet basically. Plus, Rose could do this scene really well. Even her friend Sara, who didn't like Shakespeare that much, had tears in her eyes when she watched Rose perform the scene yesterday. Finally, it was time for the Julie girls to try out. Rose, Mary Anne, and two other girls filed onto stage and stood in front of Mr. Lawrence and Mrs. Lewis. "Okay," Mrs. Lewis said from her seat in the audience. "I would like the brunette, what's your name?" A tall girl stepped forward, "My name is Summer Jacobs." Mrs. Lewis smiled, "Okay, summer you go first, you.what is your name?" "Windy Carlyle," a petite girl with honey blond hair said. "Okay, Summer, first, Windy, second, Rose, I know you," Mrs. Lewis paused, "ah, go third. And Mary Anne will go last. Now, will everyone but Summer please wait off stage." Rose, Mary Anne, and Windy all walked back stage, watching Summer introduce herself and then start performing. She was okay, but she sounded like she was just reading the words, not actually acting them. Finally, she was finished and Windy went on. Windy was no better then Summer, although she did move around a lot more. Rose nervously bit her lips while she waited for Windy to finish. She took several deep breaths to calm herself and closed her eyes again, focusing on the words she had mesmerized. "Gee, you're not.. nervous, are you Rose?" Mary Anne's teasing voice came through her thoughts and Rose sighed. This is just what she needed. She turned around and looked at Mary Anne. "No," Rose lied, "I am not. I just want everything to be perfect, that's all." Mary Anne laughed, "That's a good one Rose. Perfect? Your acting? Ha, that's funny." Rose cave Mary Anne a nasty look and the turned back around. Before she knew it, Windy was finished and Rose was called out. She took another deep breath and then walked out stage. "Hello Rose," Mrs. Lewis said politely. "Hello," Rose said back. She had Mrs. Lewis for an acting coach a few years ago and she was one of her favorites. "Now, would you like us to give you a scene, or do you have one prepared?" Mr. Lawrence asked, smiling at her. "I have one prepared," Rose answered. "Okay then, go ahead and start when ready," Mrs. Lewis said, flipping to a new page in her notebook. Rose stepped forward and with a stage voice said, "Hello, my name is Rose DeWitt Bukator, I am eighteen years old, and I am going to recite Juliet's, ah, death scene." Mrs. Lewis and Mr. Lawrence both nodded, and Mrs. Lewis wrote something down on her paper. Rose took a deep breath and then started her lines. "What's here? A cup closed in my true loves hand?" After those sentences were spoken, all of Rose's worries went away. She remembered why she loved to act and forgot about everything around her. "Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end," she spoke emotionally, real tears glistening in her eyes. Visions from this scene in the move came back to her and she almost started crying. She finished her speech by holding an imaginary dagger to her chest and pretending to force it into her body. Rose fell to the stage in a dramatic heap and lay still for a moment. She wasn't ready for the clapping that suddenly came from the audience and brought herself up. "Wonderful!" Mr. Lawrence exclaimed. Rose smiled and stood all the way up. "Beautiful job Rose," Mrs. Lewis said, smiling at her. "Thank you," Rose said happily. She knew she couldn't have done better and was happy with her performance. "Thank you," Mr. Lawrence said. "Will you please have Mary Anne come out when you leave?" Rose nodded and smiled one last smile at her audience before walking off stage. "You can go now Mary Anne," she said politely as sat down backstage. Mary Anne shot Rose a dirty look and then tramped out onto stage. Rose watched as Mary Anne started her lines. The way she started acting shocked Rose. She was not doing as well as she usually did. In fact, Mary Anne was doing horrible. Rose stood there, shocked, as she watched Mary Anne. Maybe she did have a chance at this part. After a minute, Mary Anne was finished and walked off stage. Rose watched shock as Mary Anne left the room. She actually did badly on her audition. Rose felt like laughing as she walked back down to the cast room. Mary Anne Whittmore, miss high and mighty, miss lead in all the plays, had actually acted like a slob. Rose sat down dreamily in a free chair downstairs and watched the people talk. A minute later, the last set of people trying out, the guys trying out for Romeo, went up to audition. Rose watched as the three hopeful boys went upstairs. Except for one, none of them were cute. The only one that was cute, and that was from the back, was a blond boy who looked a little taller then herself. That was the only thing she could tell about him. Rose sighed and turned her attention to Mary Anne who was now standing in a corner. She had a look of satisfaction on her face that Rose couldn't believe she was seeing. She mentally laughed. Today was turning out better then she had hoped. Rose suddenly heard her cell phone ring, causing her to draw her attention away from Mary Anne for a moment. She picked it up out of her bag and pressed the 'yes' button. "Hello?" she asked holding the phone to her ear. "Rose?" Rose sighed, she instantly knew who it was, Cal Hockley from school. He had been bugging Rose to go out on a date since the 10th grade and now Rose was sorry she had ever given him her cell phone number. At least at home she could see who was calling on the caller ID. "Yeah, Cal, what do you want?" she asked. "Where are you? It sounds noisy," Cal asked over the phone. "I'm at an audition Cal," Rose answered dryly. She heard Cal sigh. "Rose, why do you waist your time at those when you could be doing more important things? Like going out with me." Rose rolled her eyes. "Because its more fun then going anywhere with you, Cal," she answered before pressing the 'no' button, cutting off Cal. She had just put her phone back away, when Mr. Lawrence and Mrs. Lewis came down the stairs. Rose hadn't even noticed that the Romeos had already come back down and were sitting on counter tops, talking to girls. "Okay everyone!" Mr. Lawrence shouted above the noise. People quieted down real fast when they saw who was there. "Thank you," Mr. Lawrence said. "Now, Mrs. Lewis and I have already chosen who we want to be our actors and actresses. To all of you who didn't make it, you did a wonderful job. And please come back and try out for another play because you all have talent. Now, there is going to be an understudy for each main person. Understudies please know all of your characters lines! This is very important. I have had understudies go on before that didn't think they would need to know the lines and they screwed up the whole play. Now, I am going to turn the floor over to Mrs. Lewis who read off names." Rose listened intently as Mrs. Lewis began to read off the names of people who had made the play. With each name, Rose grew more and more anxious. When Linda go the part of the nurse, it made Rose want the part even more. It would be fun to have Linda be her nurse. Suddenly, before Rose knew it, there were only two more parts to be announced, Romeo and Juliet. She listened as some guy named Jack got the part of Romeo, with some guy named Tommy getting the understudy role. Finally, it was time for the part of Juliet to be announced. Rose felt her heart start to race and she took a deep breath. This was it. In a minute she would find out if she would have the role of her dreams. "And the part of Juliet goes too." Mrs. Lewis said drawing out the answer. In the second before the name was announced, Rose saw Mary Anne give her a look and then start to walk up as if she were going to give a speech. ".Rose DeWitt Bukator. Her understudy will be Windy Carlyle." Rose felt tears come her eyes. She had gotten the part! She had beat Mary Anne! Mary Anne wasn't even the understudy! Rose suddenly felt weak and sat down in a nearby chair, in total shock. She had gotten the part! Rose saw Mary Anne run up to Mrs. Lewis and then was aware of Windy coming up to talk to her. But she barely listened. All Rose could think about was the fact that she had actually gotten the part!

Chapter Two

Rose excitedly raced out of the Warehouse Theater and jumped in her car. She let out a little cry of joy as she got out her keys and started the Honda. "I got the part," she sang to herself as she got out her Celine Dion All the Way CD and put it into her car's CD player. She switched the song to 'That's The Way It Is' and started singing along as she pulled out of the parking lot. After all the parts had been announced, people ran around congratulating each other and taking nicely to the people who hadn't made the play. Rose had seen Mary Anne stalk away after a very heated argument with Mrs. Lewis over her not getting the part. She had smiled at that scene. In Rose's opinion, Mary Anne deserved to lose once and a while. Rose assumed that she was now at home complaining to her father about not getting to be Juliet. That's what Mary Anne always did, went and complained to her daddy. Usually, if her dad couldn't fix the problem, he'd end up getting Mary Anne something else that she wanted. That made Rose even more mad. Mary Anne was nothing but a spoiled little brat that everyone hatted. Rose sighed and turned the music up loader, hoping to make herself forget about Mary Anne. As she was on her way home, Rose saw a sign for 'Pete's Pizza', a local pizza place that had pizza to die for. Rose's stomach growled as she thought of eating one of thier large cheese pizza's with a glass of Pepsi to wash it down. She checked her watch. It was 4:30. Turning down her stareo, Rose got out her cell phone. When she had to stop for a red light, Rose dialed her mother's work number. "Hello, Spokane Probation Offices, my name is Cally. How my I help you?" "Hay Cally, its Rose," Rose said over the phone to the secretary at her mother's office. Her mother worked as a probation officer for Spokane, something you didn't see a lot of women doing. It was nice though; her mother got a lot of extra time off and made money. "Hello Rose, how are you?" Cally asked. Rose could practically see her sitting at the little desk, taking on the phone and surfing the web at the same time. "Just great Cally. Hay, can I talk to my mother? Or is she busy?" "Oh no, your mom's here. She just got out of a meeting. Hold on, I'll put ya through," Cally said. "Thanks Cally," Rose said before she heard another ringing. "Hello?" her mother's voice came over the line a minute later. "Hay Mother," Rose said stopping as she turned the street that Pete's was on. "Hello Rose? Did you get the part honey?" "Yes! Oh my gosh Mom, I am so excited!" Rose yelled over the phone. Ruth laughed, "That's great Rose. I know how much you wanted the part." Rose beamed. She was glad her mother was almost as excited as she was. "Thanks," she said. "Umm, I was calling 'coz I am down by Pete's and was wondering if you want me to pick up some dinner?" Rose could practically see her mother smiling. "Oh Rose, would you darling! That would be great. I don't know if I am going to get off work right at five." "Sure, I am right here now," Rose said pulling up next to the pizza place. "What do you want?" "Ahh, get whatever you want Rose. Just no olives, alright?" Rose laughed, "Duh! Gosh Mother, who in this family eats olives." Ruth laughed, "I know, just making sure your mind wasn't to excited with Juliet thoughts that you weren't thinking straight." Rose smiled, "I am just fine, for now at least. I don't know what I'll be like at home." Ruth laughed again. Rose smiled and got out of the car, locking it with her automatic lock button on her key chain. "Okay, well I gotta go Mom." "Alright dear, I'll see you in a little bit," Ruth said. "Bye Mom, love you!" Rose said before pushing the off button and stuffing the phone in her purse. She walked up onto the sidewalk and into Pete's. Only a few people were there at the moment. A man reading the newspaper by the window, an older couple, and a collage couple out on a date. Rose smiled and walked up to the counter. "Can I help you... Rose?" Rose smiled, "Hay Nick! How are you? I havn't seen you since graduation." Nick Whittaker had been a classmate of Rose's at Gonzaga Prep. He had brownish blond hair, dark green eyes, and was a little on the short side. He was also one of Rose's best friend's boyfriend. Her friend, and neighbor, Mollie Finlon (who had a twin sister, Liza, who was Rose's other best friend) and Nick had been going out since thier junior year. Rose thought they made a cute couple with Mollie's brown eyes and blondish hair. "I am just fine Rose. What are you up to?" Rose could barley contain her smile. "I just got the part of Juliet in Romeo and Juliet!" Nick smiled, "That's wonderful Rose!" "Thanks," Rose replied smiling at Nick. "Now, for the pizza. I want one medium Canadian bacon pizza, with half no sauce." "What?" Nick asked raising his eyebrows. Rose rolled her eyes. "I don't like tomatoes Nick. I have never like pizza sauce either. Geez, how long have you known me?" Nick laughed, "Okay, okay. I'll get you your no-sauce, nasty pizza. Is this to go?" Rose nodded and pulled out some money. Nick took the order to the back of the room then came back. "Anything else?" he asked. "No, thanks Nick," Rose answered. "Okay, that comes to $12.76, with tax," Nick said ringing up the cash register. Rose handed Nick a twenty- dollar bill and then waited for Nick to get her change. "Here ya go Rose, $7.24 is your change," Nick said placing the money in her hand. "The pizza will be done in a few minutes." Rose smiled, "Thanks." She went and sat down at one of the little tables and put her change in her purse. Humming along with the song coming out of the small speakers over head Rose looked around. Nothing exciting was going on. She sighed and studied the walls. Rose had always loved the walls at Pete's because they were different from everywhere else. See, a while back someone had painted a mural on one of the walls, signing thier name at the bottom. People didn't realize that the person had been hired to draw the mural and started writing things all over the walls. By now there were hardly any white spaces left, just messages and signatures from millions of different people. Some of the stuff was funny, but most was just stupid. The thing was though; the walls didn't look bad, just creative. It didn't look like a gang had come in a written crazy stuff all over. It was just their, almost as if someone had planned it. Rose had signed one of the walls once, a couple of years ago. From her seat, she found the spot and saw that her name was still thier. Rose smiled and looked for any new stuff she had missed. Thier were a couple of 'Class of 2000's written up close to the ceiling, but not much else. "Hay Rose!" Rose turned her head and saw Nick holding a pizza box. She immeadatly got up and took the pizza from Nick. "Thanks," she said. "Welcome Rose. See ya later!" Nick called as Rose started to leave. Rose turned and waved. "Bye!" she called before leaving the pizza place. Unlocking the car door, she put the pizza in the passenger front seat and then went around to the driver's side. Rose started the car and pulled away from the curb, at the same time taking out Celine Dion and turning the radio on. Mandy Moore's "I Wanna Be With You" and Rose started singing along, turning the radio up and rolling down her window. "...How beautiful it is, just to be like this...I wanna be with you, if only for a night, to be the one who's in your arms, to hold you tight," she sang at the top of her lungs, not caring of anyone saw or heard. Rose drove down North Indian Trial until she reached Bedford. She then turned west on Bedford and then onto Sundance. Turning down the radio, Rose listened to the sounds around her. She loved her neighborhood. It was part of the new development in Spokane and all the houses were only, at the most, eight years old. Sundance was the main road that looped around and all the roads and courts that the houses were on came off that. Rose lived in the newer area of the street called Skagit. All the houses were really big and looked really expensive. Her house over looked the rest of the Sundance area and down on the forest area below her house. That was another reason Rose loved where her house was. It was still in Spokane, but it was far enough out that you didn't always fell like you were in the city. After turning onto Skagit, Rose slowed down and drove to her house. Pushing the garage door opener that she had in her car, Rose pulled into her garage. Her mother's car was not in its spot, so Rose assumed her mother was still not home. She grabbed the pizza and her purse and jumped out of the car. Balancing the pizza box in one hand, she opened the door to the house and pushed the garage door close button that was on the wall. Rushing into the house, she put the pizza and her purse on the counter and pushed the answering machine button. "Hay Rose, its Mollie. Call me when you get home and let me know how the audition went. Oh yeah, Liza says hi. I'll talk to you later! Bye!" Rose smiled when she heard Mollie's voice. "Beeeppp...Ruth, its Jane. Call me later. Bye." Rose laughed out load at her mother's best friend. Jane could be so dry sometimes. Shaking her head, Rose dashed upstairs to changed. She walked into her messy bedroom and looked around for a clean tee shirt. Finally finding one, Rose pulled off her old one and slipped her new one on. She ran downstairs again and set the table, including two glasses of Pepsi along with everything else. Rose had just brought the pizza over to the table when she heard the garage door open. "Hay Mom," she said when Ruth walked through the door. "Hi darling. Ohh good, you got everything ready. Thanks for doing that," Ruth said setting her purse down before kissing her daughter's cheek. Rose smiled, "Welcome." Ruth smiled back, "Well enough of that." She sat down at the table followed by Rose. "Tell me how the audition went," Ruth said as she opened the pizza box. Rose's eyes began to sparkle and she told her mother exactly what had happened at the Warehouse Theater.

Much later, Rose was lying her bed reading People magazine. The lights were dimmed in her room and the radio was playing softly. Rose smiled as a song that she loved came over the radio and she threw her magazine to the floor. After grabbing a pen from her bedside table, she jumped up and started singing in front of the mirror. Rose couldn't carry a tune at all, but she could sing load and hold long notes. As she sang, Rose, only half-aware, looked around the room. Her ocean blue window shade was drawn up, reviling a view that overlooked her pool and wood view side of the neighborhood. Under the window was her desk, which had her computer and printer resting on it. Scattered across the dark blue carpet were countless clothing items. Mostly jean shorts and camp tee shirts. Her comforter was half on the floor and half falling off the queen-size bed. Rose loved her comforter. It was this ocean blue color with flowers printed on it that looked like they had been done by chalk or crayon. The reverse side was this mix of different squares in blues and greens with white lines, some thick and some tiny, running around the boarders of the color squares. She had this collection of pillows that went with it, six in all. One pillow was this really long body pillow that was the same design as the reverse side of the comforter. Across from the bed were her TV and VCR and then on the floor was her stereo with various CD's scattered around. Rose's walk in closet was to the far right of her bed and the door to her bathroom was right across from that. Suddenly, the phone rang, casing Rose to jump. She turned down the radio and grabbed her phone off the floor. "Hello?" "Hello yourself. Ever heard of calling anyone back?" Rose winced. She had totally forgotten about calling Mollie back. "Uhhh, sorry. I forgot I guess. I guess I am too excited," Rose explained. "Excited about what?" Mollie asked. "Wait...did you got the part?" "Yes!" Rose exclaimed throwing herself down on the bed. "Oh my gosh, Mollie, this is like a dream come true. You know how much I wanted this part." Mollie laughed, "Yes, I know. So when do rehearsals start?" "Tomorrow, at 12:30. They go till 4:30, so I am gunna be tied up from now on. They are every weekday and every other Sunday." Mollie sighed, "What about us?" Rose laughed, "Oh come on, it's not that bad. And besides, the play is at the end of July sometime so we will have all of August to hang out." Mollie sighed again, "I guess you are right. I am happy for you Rose, I am sorry if I don't sound like it." "That's okay, don't worry," Rose said sincerely. "Good," Mollie responded before laughing. "Hay, is Liza there?" Rose asked. "Nope, she went out with some guy she met at graduation. I think he was like Tim's cousin or someone. Anyway, she won't be back till late," Mollie said. "Oh okay, tell her hi okay?" "Sure thing," Mollie promised. "But I gotta go now. I just wanted to call and make sure you hadn't like jumped off a cliff or something." Rose laughed, "Alright, I'll talk to you tomorrow." "Okay, bye!" Mollie said. "Bye," Rose answered before hanging up. Sighing, she got up and went over to the computer. She signed onto AOL and checked her mail. Nothing exciting, just her ET Newsletter. Rose sighed again and signed off. Suddenly getting an idea she ran to her closet and got her swimsuit. After changing, she ran downstairs and jumped into the small hot tub they had next to the pool. The hot water relaxed her mind and Rose soon found herself consumed with thoughts of Romeo and Juliet.