**** MAJOR TRIGGER AND DISCLAIMER WARNING PLEASE READ: ****
This fanfiction is very dark and goes over some very very dark areas, including sexual assault, self harm, and suicide. Luckily I can remain anonymous on here so I can be honest and tell you that I went through sexual assault similar to what I have written. Writing this through a different characters point of view has really helped me cope and heal.
THE MAIN CHARACTER: The main character is NOT one of the characters in the 100. She is a character I had made up as I couldn't find a chracter in the series that would react the way I had. I hope you enjoy reading. New chapter up soon
Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to have any rights of the 100 series.
CHAPTER ONE - Worn out
"You know this is a bad idea Mia." Jasper says with a hint of fear in his voice.
"Can't help but agree." Monty mutters, kicking a rock he had been trailing with us for a while now.
"Then why are you coming?" I snap back, kicking the rock out of Montys range.
"Because you couldn't do it alone" Harper says chuckling.
"Please, I could easily handle this alone." I whisper under my breath, as we continue to rush through the woods.
We continue to trudge through the damp forest, walking quickly to cover as much ground as possible. I feel my muscles cramping, beginning to tense, as if they will buckle underneath me at any moment. But I can't stop, not now, not ever. Not until I find those capable of his death.
Finn, my older brother. His death was not dignified, stripped of that the moment feral grounders took a grotesque weapons to his body. It was long, agonizing to witness. I had to watch while my body crumbled underneath the ropes to which I was bound too. I could feel my heart literally burn and break in my chest. Bellmay was tied next to me, squeezing my hand every time Finn was touched. I didn't want to be touched, I wanted to be far away as possible from anyone. Even Bellmay, my soul mate.
I know as soon as it hits him I am gone, he will begin to search for us, but I can't worry about that now. Bellmay is strong, he can look after himself. But all I hope is that he doesn't discover my missing presence before he can become tied up in the catastrophe I have already created.
While I promised not to stop, I can feel my body begin to wear out, so I decide to stop and save my strength, rather than keep rushing through and collapsing without the chance of a quick recovery. We stop when Harper finds a suitable shelter for the evening, but like every mission we embark on, someone has to stay watch. I look to the other members of our team, decide I will take first watch, I would rather see myself struggle then them.
The stars shine within the sky, they obviously look smaller from down here, but just as beautiful and elegant. I try to distract myself in every way I know to how too, but my eyes begin to droop, my eyelids become heavy and my muscles feel as they will give out from holding the gun that my fingers rest on the trigger. I have given Jasper what I hope is a decent nap, so I decide to wake him.
"Jasper," I whisper as I begin to nudge his sleeping body. He grumbles and wriggles, but doesn't awaken.
"Jasper, please." I beg, as I push him more aggressively.
"Urgh what?" he grumbles beginning to stretch.
"I'm sorry." I mutter pathetically. "I can't stay awake any longer." I add.
"It's okay Mia, I understand. About time I woke up anyway." He says with a small smile.
"Thank you Jasper." I reply.
It doesn't take more than a second before my eyes close and don't open fo a while.
