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I had always wanted a kid. Someone to me could call my own, and teach my mistakes to.
Of course, that was mostly when I thought the tribal legends were stories that Billy Black made up to see how annoyed he could get people. Which no offense, but I'm still pretty sure the bonfires every month are for the old man to have some excuse to gab about something.
That was also before Sam and Emily became everyone's favorite 'adorable couple!' It used to me. I used to be the one everyone gossiped about. Fate and its sidekick Imprinting took that away from me. Now everyone says things like, "Isn't Sam such a lucky boy to be dating a sweetheart like Emily? Oh, too bad for Leah though. Remember dear; never date anyone who you think might ditch you for your cousin!"
Yeah, I've never actually heard anyone say that, but I'm sure they do. Behind my back, that is.
And that was before my ex-best friend Fate decided I needed even more of a crappy life, and made me into a giant, menopausal monster. I can totally see the conversation now:
Fate: Well damn it. I'm bored.
Imprinting: Hey boss! I got an idea! Let's make that unlucky sap Leah suffer again!
Nice Guy: Well we've already made her boyfriend leave her and her dad die in the same month! Maybe we should lay off.
Fate: … you are so fired. Anyway Imprinting, I like the way you think. What should we do?
Karma: We could make her a bitch like me!
Imprinting: What?
Karma: We could make her the only female shape-shifter ever!
Fate: YES! And while, we're at it, let's turn her brother into one too!
Nice Guy: But Seth's just a kid!
Fate: Damn it, didn't I fire you already! Come on guys; let's get those wolf-genes working!
…
I'm pretty sure they also messed up my mind too.
When I started phasing, I became a legit bitch. I started taking my anger out on pretty much anyone who said one word to me. Some people say that's really overdramatic, but screw them. My suckish life gives me the right to do that.
I never say anything that's not one-hundred percent true. Therefore, it's not me that hurts people. The truth takes care of that all by itself.
So yeah. I hate every wolf, except Seth, Jake, and the rare times when Quil and Embry aren't being petty jerks. Especially Sam. And you know why.
But there is one type of people that I despise even more than Mr. I'm-A-Dick himself.
Those. Damn. Imprints.
First area of issue: Emily. Absolutely no explanation needed.
Second area of issue: Kim. She is the single most annoying goddamn person I have ever met. She's a whiny idiot. No wonder she fell for Jared. Anyway, whenever I see her, she gets this weird gleam in her eyes and the scariest smile on her face. She bounces, literally, bounces over to me and starts talking about "how awesome it must be to be a werewolf!" Newsflash kid, it's not fun and we're actually shape shifters. But unfortunately, all that Dr. Seuss must be going to your head.
Third area of issue: Nessie (Oh sorry Bella, Renesmee). Everyone expects me to sympathize with this kid because she's one of her kind too, and feels 'all alone in this world'. I'm sorry, but I'm allergic to crap, and that is an awful lot of it. Loch Ness Monster has someone with her 24/7, be it a Cullen or pervish wolf (Jake and occasionally my brother.) The kid is so freaking spoiled, plus just plain messed up. I'm pretty sure she gets her creepiness from her dad and her temper tantrums from her mom.
I guess the only imprint who doesn't drive me totally insane is Claire. I mean sure, we all made fun of Quil when he imprinted when she was two, but now she's cool. I use the word 'cool' loosely, because for a thirteen year old, she's a lot more mature than the teen idiots in my pack. Sometimes.
See, sometimes Claire is this sweet little angel who never does anything wrong and is never in your face, always calm and relaxed.
And sometimes, like now, she is a little brat.
"AUNT LEAH! AUNT LEAH! OPEN THE DOOR! I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU! LEAH!" she screamed ear-piercingly while pounding her fists against my door. Gosh kid, if I can hear your heartbeat from outside, do you think there's a reason to try to blast down my door?
The correct answer here is no.
I growled/yawned non-threateningly as I opened the door. What? Expected something bitchier? Try seeing me after I've had my coffee, (which I was about to guzzle until Miss Drama Queen USA decided knocking down the house of a big bad werewolf will 'save the world!')
Claire Bear jumped and latched onto my waist screaming, "LEAH! You'll never guess what just happened!"
I don't know if you've happened to notice, but I'm not a big hugger. It's just not me. And the last time I was hugged someone if was my mom. Sad, but true.
So I cautiously pulled her off of me and led her inside. While she proceeded to ramble about… something, I drank cup after cup of delicious liquid caffeine.
Oh coffee, I love you. You're my best friend in this dark, cruel world. You make me have a purpose to live. You lift me up when I'm down. You're like a drug without being a drug. You-
"L! E! A! H! Are you even listening to me?"
I spat my coffee back into my mug. "Oh yes. Your cousin came in and took your love of your lifel away from you and you're about to turn into a fuzzball. Am I right?"
Claire shook her head as if communicating to a child. "Leah, one, that's your story. Two, I only have one cousin, and it's a guy. Three, I have, am not, and will not, turn into a 'fuzzball'."
I rolled my eyes bitchily. Aw yeah. Caffeine's working baby.
I decided to listen to Claire, whether for her own amusement or my own.
"Okay so, you know how I'm, like, soul mates with Quil right?"
I nodded. Who could forget?
"And, you know how Quil and I are supposed to love each other, but not in that way yet?"
I froze. I really, really didn't like the direction this conversation was heading.
Claire pulled on her necklace. "Well, today, Quil took me to the pool. And that was cool and stuff, 'cause we've been swimming before, and it was all fine and good. Except when he got into the water, he took off his shirt. And I, like, saw his chest. I mean, I've seen it before and yeah, but this time, I just couldn't stop staring and it was all awkward. It's just, he was so ripped and muscular and well, hot. You know?"
…
Mind rape, pure mind rape…
"I've never ever thought about Quil that way before, but all of a sudden, I kinda just wanted to jam my tongue down his throat right then and there. No wait, I think I just wanted to like, you know, screw him. My mom says that it's just my hormones (not that I've told her about this) and it's perfectly natural, but I really wanted to have Quil be a part of me. And like, make him mind. Like, right?"
…
911? Yeah we need the cops down here; there's a serious case of mind rape…
"And now, I just don't know what to say to him! Like, I can't just go up and say like, 'Hey I know we've been like siblings forever, but now I kinda want you to pop my cherry'. Or should I say 'take my virginity' instead of 'pop my cherry'? I don't know. But my friend Ashley says you have to make the man make the first move, or else he'll be turned off. It's just; I don't think Quil sees me that way yet. What do I do Leah? How do I get Quil to help me cash in my v-card?"
…
Please someone, help me… Get me mind soap… I've been mind-raped harder than even when what's-his-face Cullen is around…
"Rape…" I whispered hoarsely. I couldn't believe what I've just heard. Everything was pounding, and my mind was puking.
Claire's face lit up. "Rape? Of course! Why didn't I think of that?" And with that, the corrupted girl marched out of my living room.
It took me a second to process what I'd done and go get her back.
"See Claire, what you need to do is tell him," I explained softly, still in shock. "Just tell him everything, even the popping your cherry bit," wince "and you two can make decisions together."
She thought about it for a minute. "Well, rape sounds a lot better, but I guess that could work. Thanks Leah!" Claire hugged me and left.
I collapsed on my couch and shuddered at the horror that was that girl's mind. I vowed never to return to the leeches' den again in fear of that Edwin guy learning about this. And I probably wouldn't want to phase soon either…
I stopped. What the hell? I'm the Leah Clearwater, legit bitch of La Push. I cower to no one. I make people hide from me. That conversation had fried my brain, and now it was going to fry everyone else's.
I smirked and went out to phase so either my brother or Jake would hear the 'friendly chat' and hopefully pass it along to the vamps. Yep, eventually I was going to have this news even in Sam's pack.
But before I did, I gave Quil a little heads-up text. I wrote, Hey Quil, don't let Claire 'pop your cherry!'
Oh yeah. The Bitch was back for good.
Well? Love? Hate? Want to destroy? I like it. Anyway I just got a boyfriend who I've had a crush on for a while! Go me!
XXX,
Kat
