Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride. (I do, however, own this stupid computer, which I am going to kill if it doesn't stop losing internest access!)
"I'm hungry," Nudge whined, her caramel wings flapping in the wind. "And thirsty."
"I'm Friday," Gazzy replied, tired. "Meet the leaders Saturday and Sunday up there, along with Monday beside me, and Tuesday behind me."
"I don't want to be Tuesday," Angel replied, folding her arms. "Everybody always dreads Tuesday. I want to be Saturday."
"But Fang's Saturday!" Gazzy reminded her, pointing to Mr. Midnight.
"Wait, then I'm Sunday?" I asked, looking back at Gazzy. "People don't love Sunday! They have to finish their chores and crap so they can get ready for Monday! I want to be Friday."
"Hey! I'm Monday!" Iggy countered, crossing his arms. "Monday isn't that bad!"
"Yeah, Ig. 'Cause everybody loves the idea of getting up early in the morning," I replied sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
Iggy humphed, looking away indignantly.
"Why do you want to be Friday, Max?" Fang asked, changing the subject.
"Because everyone looks forward for Friday. Duh," I replied.
"Oh yeah," Gazzy scoffed, rolling his eyes. "She just wants to be Friday because Fang is Saturday, and she wants to always be close to him."
"I do not!" I replied sharply. "And besides, I was already with Fang before, when I was Sunday!"
"Oh, so you don't want to spend more time with me?" Fang asked, faking hurt. "I see how you are. Fine, I'll be Tuesday. That way, Max can be as far away from me as possible."
"I don't want you to not be Saturday!" I exclaimed, realizing that sentence made no sense. Yup, it's three in the morning. "Fine, I'll be freaking Sunday! I don't care!"
"No Max, it's fine," Fang said, still sounding hurt. "We don't have to be next to each other every week. We don't have to be Saturday and Sunday, always together, always back to back. We can always be Friday and Tuesday, two days never meant to meet."
"Oh, for the love of Pete," I muttered under my breath.
"Who's Pete?" Iggy returned, now over his mood. "Hey Fang, I think you should be worried over this 'Pete' character. He might just be Max's new boyfriend."
Fang looked shocked. "Is that true, Max? Are you now dating a guy named Pete?" He glared at me mockingly. "I don't know you anymore," he said in a really chilling voice.
"There is no Pete!" I shouted, crossing my arms. "Gosh!"
"I think she's way too indignant, personally," Iggy commented, shaking his head. "As Shakespeare once said, 'The lady doth protest too much.'"
"How the frick do you know Shakespeare?" I asked.
"Movies," he replied.
"I change my mind," Gazzy said, totally out of the blue. "I want to be Wednesday, not Friday. Wednesday is the middle of the week, and that's cooler than being the second-to-last day of the week."
"Well then, who will be Friday?" Iggy asked.
"We already discussed that," Fang said. "Max is Friday, because she doesn't want to be with me anymore."
"I want to be with you!" I shouted. "Fine, Fang and I will be the weekend, and someone else can be Friday."
"Jeez, Max, you don't have to be forced to love me," Fang said.
"I want us to be back to back!" I screeched.
"Fine, Fang and Max are Saturday and Sunday-"
"I wanna be Saturday," I interrupted Gazzy.
"Oh, come on!" Gazzy said. "Make up your mind! I thought you wanted to be Sunday."
"I said I wanted to be back to back with Fang," I replied. "I want to be Saturday."
"But what if I want to be Saturday?" Fang asked.
"Fang, shut-up or I'll make you Monday," Gazzy warned.
"What is so bad about Monday?" Iggy exclaimed, looking angry.
"It's the most boring day of the week!" Gazzy exclaimed.
"Not with me running it!" he said, looking cool. "If I was Monday, everyone will love it, because everyone loves me!"
"Yeah, right," I snorted in disbelief.
"Hey, I have a lot of Iggy lovers! There are a lot of Fang haters and even a few Max haters, but I've never heard anyone saying, 'Ew, Iggy? He's gross!' or 'Why in the world would I like Iggy?' See? I'm popular!"
"Dang, full of yourself, aren't you?" I asked.
"Only stating the truth."
"Okay," Gazzy interrupted again. "So Nudge is Thursday... Wait, who's Friday?"
"I'll be Friday!" Angel exclaimed. "Just as long as I'm not Tuesday."
"Then who will be Tuesday?"
"This whole conversation is pointless," Nudge mumbled.
"You started it," Gazzy reminded her.
"Did not!" she exclaimed. "All I said was I was hungry and thirsty!"
"Exactly. Thirs-tee and Thurs-day. You should really work on pronouncing your words."
"I'm done with this," she grumbled.
"I say Total is Tuesday," Angel said.
"Where is Total?" I asked.
"Behind me, asleep," Angel said, nodding to a snoozing flying puppy.
"Wait, then how is he flying?" Fang asked.
"Total's flying in his sleep?" Iggy exclaimed. "Dude, fly in front of something white. I've gotta see this!"
"Of course he's flying in his sleep," Angel said. "I'm controlling him."
"You control people in their sleep?" I demanded.
"Only if I have to," she said defensively.
I was about to say something, but from a look from Fang, I let the subject drop. For now.
"Alright, so Nudge is Thursday," Gazzy began again. "Angel is Friday, Max is Saturday, Fang is Sunday, Iggy is the almighty and awesome Monday, Total is Tuesday -hey, that fits!- and I am Wednesday. Any objections?"
We all shook are heads.
"Now that that's all settled," Nudge said, rolling her eyes, "can we go find something to eat, now? I'm still hungry."
That's it! Please, please publish, stupid thing!
Oh, and if it does, please tell me what you think!
