A/N: Aeleus' point of view. Title is crappy - please forgive it. And forgive how FFnet makes everything look a bit screwed up, please. It honestly looks just fine elsewhere :/ I'm still new to FFnet's system, so maybe I'm doing something wrong... Ah well. At least it'll look just fine on dA.

Disclaimer: I obviously do not own Kingdom Hearts. D:


Every minute, of every day, I think about it - I try to figure out where I went wrong.

Did I not love you enough? But, how can that be? I love you with every last bit of my Heart - and more.

Maybe I did not show it enough. Or perhaps I myself simply was not good enough to be the subject of your own love.

I think about it, every minute, of every day, and try to figure out what went wrong.

Was it even my doing at all? Yes, yes it had to be - because I love you, and would rather take the blame for destroying the world than let you. I would die, kill, do anything for you.

Perhaps that was not enough.

Perhaps my love was not enough.

I thought it was genuine, I thought it was meant to be. We seemed so happy together - it was not perfect, yet that is how I knew it was genuine, as no relationship is perfect.

Wait, relationship : it was that, was it not? We had both admitted to one another of our love for the other.

So where did I go wrong?

Oh... I see, now...

I did not fight enough to keep what love I thought was mine. Perhaps I do not deserve your love, after all. I am a horrid person, am I not? Wanting to keep something so beautiful to myself, but then not fighting for it in the end.

Oh, I do not deserve your love at all, no, no I do not.

The sad part is, I saw it coming. It came, gradually, did it not? I am trying to remember - but it seemed like one day you were mine, then the next, you were someone else's.

Either way, I did, indeed, see the signs.

Or did I? Perhaps I am viewing this all wrong. Could you two not simply be friends? My mind keeps trying to think that you are, and that is all and there is nothing more to your 'relationship', but my Heart aches and cries it feels so broken; it knows better.

All the time you two had started to spend together. When you were with me, I never really heard you mention him at all, to be honest - but it was not hard to look elsewhere, see how you were with one another, hear from others how they thought you were like a couple.

Maybe my Heart was too broken for my mind to react properly - an excuse for my not fighting for what I love?

I tried to speak to you about how I felt, but my words always were caught in my throat. Eventually, my mind made an excuse for myself by saying that if you did not see how hurt I was, or even how you were acting yourself, then perhaps it was for the better - perhaps,perhaps, this was what you wanted.

And if this is what you want, and it will make you happy, then I am happy. All I want is for you to be happy - should you not be with me, then I hope you are withhim.

Even still, why do I feel so... What is this emotion? Jealousy? Anger? Sadness? I know not, as everything blurs together by now. Or, perhaps, it is all together.

Then the day came, when you asked me that question.

"You have been sad lately, Aeleus. What is wrong?"

I had to look away and bite my tongue to keep from blurting out "Why do you care?". I was not a spiteful person, and the look in your eyes - it brought tears to my own eyes, as I could see you cared.

"I may be a genius, but I am no mind reader, you know." That soft giggle of yours that I loved so dearly. "You must speak of what is wrong in order for me to help you -I only want you to be happy, after all."

But how could I? If you knew,if you knew how bad a person I have been, how jealous and angry I have gotten, you would not love me at all.

This is what kept me from speaking the truth, and forced a small smile on my face as I looked back down at you, giving you my response of "Nothing is wrong, my love. I am just tired lately, is all."

Quickly, I gave an excuse to leave, turning and beginning to walk away, giving you a quick smile before looking away once more.

And then all Time seemed to stop.

I felt your little hand grip onto mine - the surprise of this stopped me completely in my tracks.

"Do not lie to me, Aeleus. Such a look in your eyes is not from being tired."

Frozen, silent, in place, I stood, keeping my back towards you and looking down at the ground.One could put up a mask to hide their sadness, but their eyes would always give everything away.

"Do you love him?" were the words out of my mouth, surprisingly soft, despite my usual sound of voice.

The silence, I thought, had stopped my Heart. I knew, if there was hesitation, what the answer would be.

There was hesitation. Or perhaps it was merely because you were surprised by my words? I could not tell.

"I love you."

"Sometimes it does not feel that way,"I admitted quietly, vision already blurred by tears threatening to fall.

I was expecting silence, once more, but your actions surprised me: in one swift movement, you had moved to stand in front of me, beautiful blue eyes looking at me, and only me.

The sad expression on your face alone was enough to cause the tears to come.

"I am sorry," I quietly whispered, looking away from you.

Your tiny hand reached up, and you looked so cute on your tip-toes like that, as your fingers gently tried to wipe the tears away from my face.

"No, no, do not apologize -I am sorry, so, so sorry, my love. I was a blind fool for not knowing you were hurt over this in the beginning." Tears were soon in your own eyes - I could see them, even if you were trying so hard to hide them.

But were they tears of honest guilt towards a misunderstanding subject, and letting it have been misunderstood as much as it has been? Or guilt towards having been found with your hand in the cookie jar?

I could not tell, and it was wrong of me to doubt, but understandable, no?

As if reading my mind, your next words were, "I love you, and only you, I swear that I do. There is no other, and never will be - you are my life, you are everything to me . It pains me to see that I have hurt you so much, and that I was so blind and stupid not to see it before. I am so, so very sorry, Aeleus. Your forgiveness I do not deserve." Your words, by now, were stuttered out, and your face was hidden against me, shoulders shaking from your crying.

Surely this is genuine?

Words I spoke not - I lifted you up into my arms, holding you close to me, and hiding my own face against your soft hair. Gently I tried to kiss away the tears, unable to see you in such a state.

For what I wished would last forever, I stood there, holding you.

You were mine,all mine, at that moment.

But were you really mine Was your love, as you said,only for me?

I feel bad for doubting you, after such words had been spoken to me, but would you blame me? What would you do if you were in my place? Would you not, also, feel the same jealousy, anger, and hurt? Would your own Heart not be broken the same way mine had been?

If a dog bites you once, you cannot help but fear he will do it again.

But still, I love you, and only you - my Heart goes to no other. Forever I will be yours, even though you might not be mine. Even if you pretend that you are, I will be happy, if you are happy.

Your love is all I want. I am willing to be a fool and be blinded by something not genuine if that is the only thing you think I deserve from you.