With a flick of her wrist, she laid her jacket out on the ground. Above her, the sky stretched to forever and back and glowed an incredible purple. She bent her knees and sank, slowly, to lay on the material. She supposed the jacket needed a purpose. It was definitely not doing its job on the TARDIS. Not by a long shot. It was an air hostess uniform by Godit was meant to wear to signify her position in the service, not to wear as a hindrance while being chased by whatever evil the Universe could conjure up. So, in reality, the uniform was like its owner, she mused, in need of a purpose.
Tegan sighed and folded her arms behind her head. Behind her the TARDIS sat on its hilltop, silent and unthreatening. Its blue had darkened in the dying light of the sun. Its windows glowed a light lavender, just slightly darker than her own uniform shirt. No other example of civilization existed as far as she had been able to see. There was only gentle breeze to move the leaves and grass; there was only the sound of the birds winging over head. She supposed it could be an evening on Earth in her blessed and well missed Brisbane if the sky had been a normal blue. It was a purple mated to deep gray that threatened to turn the most interesting array of hues. Not bad, she supposed.
She sighed and rubbed her head into the grass. It wasn't home, but she supposed she should give the Doctor his due. It was beautiful. And restful. A right good place to stop that crate and get some service done on it.
But it would help if she had something to do other than lie about in the grass and stare at the stars. If there were any stars. If there were any stars that she could recognize. She sighed again. It had seemed like a good alternative to standing around in the console room as her companions bustled around, eager and useful as always.
With a frown, she thought back to just minutes ago when she had operated the door, uncrossing her arms. "Nyssa? Is there nothing I can do?"
But it had been Adric who had answered, quietly, almost absently. "It's a matter of instatial physics and higher Rassilonian calculus, Tegan."
"I rather guess that means I can't," she had grit out. The Doctor had simply called out from under the console for his screwdriver and for Nyssa to adjust the cone dimensions. In the next breath, he ordered Adric to do a series of mathematical checks to his computations on the computer.
Tegan had reached for the screwdriver and handed it to the Doctor's waiting hand. Without a thank you or a comment, he wiggled the fingers of his other hand. "The magnetic wrench7 nanos, please."
Tegan reached into the toolbox and picked out the tool he needed. She handed it to him, thankful for doing something other than standing around. "What are you doing, Doctor?" she had asked.
"Ohjust adjusting the instatial cones and the time rerouter circuit. Can't have us ending up in missed time zones, now can we? Hmm?" he answered absentmindedly.
"Can I help?"
"No, Tegan," the Doctor called, as he reached over his head to adjust the cones. "And please do be quietI need to concentrate"
Anger was suppressed with a little effort and she held her tongue. She had been in a somber mood and had retreated, her arms crossed over her chest. No amount of arguing or bantering with Adric would make her seem part of the team at that moment. Nyssa was studiously adjusting controls, a small book open at her side. She didn't even look up as Tegan had eased past her and out the door.
And that had led her to the small patch of soft grass on the side of the hill. She wanted to pout, but pouting only worked when someone was willing to pay attention to it. She wanted to yell, but it would only upset everyone and she was not in the mood for a fight. That thought actually surprised her. Tegan supposed it was the restful atmosphere of the planet. She wanted to help. She wanted to feel a part of a group and not an outsider.
It was, after all, the whole reason why she had been opting to leave the TARDIS crew than to stay.
With a slight smile, she acknowledged that it was not the traveling that made her want to leave. No, quite the opposite. You, she thought, are a world class traveler, Tegan Jovanka. Anything that flies, anything that moves fast, you are game for. And the TARDIS, most definitely, was a fast moving ship. It just was not very accurate.
And it was not the adventure. No. Not at all. She had, as a very young child, excelled at getting herself into scrapes and had excelled even more at getting out of them and had gotten a thrill at every step of the process.
And it wasn't the job. Nonot really. She could get another job very easily. But it was the lack of usefulness, of purpose that drove her anger, her ire, at the situation. It was not dislike for her fellow companions that caused her unease. No. She had forged a very deep friendship with Nyssa, adopting the girl as she would have a younger sister. She liked Adric almost as much as she liked arguing with him. And the Doctor was a strange bird indeed, but lovable nonetheless, for a being several hundred years older than her. There was the sense of humor that they shared as wellsarcastic and dark
Noit was the fact that she washer mouth turned downa primitive, she supposed was the right word, that caused her unease at her situation. And her insecurity prompted her temper, which made her mouth work overtime to express her feelings on the matter. She hated feeling out of her depth. And with this lot, she groaned inwardly, she was. But damn it, she wanted to have a purpose. A purpose and not just a girl Friday. Rabbits! She was getting angry again.
No, she had to get home. That was the only course of actionthe only surety that she had to hold onto.
Her eyes widened as she saw the orange globe of the sun gently touch the horizon. The sky was so purple and blue that she felt like she was in a painting.
Wellshe could always memorize the sunset and draw it she supposed. The wind blew her hair and she sighed in exasperated comfort.
"Is this seat taken, then?"
Tegan started and glanced up. The Doctor stood, his hands in his pockets, his hat settled on his head, staring off into the sunset. She struggled to sit, but was waved back into her prone position by the Doctor. "A simple yes or no would suffice. No need to get up."
"I thought you were working."
He smiled and suddenly collapsed into a seated position along side of her. "I was," he commented, as he leaned back on his hands. His long legs stretched out alongside hers and then he was lying as she was, flat on his back with his hands behind his head.
"And if I had said no?" Tegan asked, a little miffed at the intrusion into her private time.
"You wouldn't have moved your legs aside to make room if the answer had been no," the Doctor pointed out. "And, it is best to enjoy a sunset with a friend than alone. It makes it all that much more real"
"Like if a tree is heard by two and not one person when it falls in a forest. A witness."
He looked thoughtful for a moment and then allowed a small smile to grace his mouth. "I suppose you could describe it rather like that, Tegan." His hat was laid above them on the grass and he scanned the heavens with his eyes. She was silent, but watched his face relax as he watched the light play on the clouds.
"I thought you were never the type to lie in the grass and watch sunset, Doc," she commented.
"In some regenerations, yes. In others, no. But in this one" he reached his hand up to point to a group of stars over the far eastern sky. "That is the Triad cluster, Tegan. They have some beautiful crystal palaces there. A regular castle in the sky. I was there once, a century or two agowhen I was traveling alone.what was I saying? Oh yesin this regeneration, I rather think I like to watch sunsets. Some things have to just be."
"Experienced?"
"Yes." He agreed, quietly. "The sky here is green during the day. Did I tell you that?"
"No. You didn't tell me anything."
The Doctor's eyes left the heavens and glanced at his friend. She had resolutely turned on her back to stare at the skies. Her eyes were locked on the clouds overhead. Her mouth was set in a firm line and she looked ready to let the world have it for something or another. He smiled a wide, toothful grin and nudged her arm with his. "I suppose I didn't, Tegan. But I can tell you now, you know."
"Yesnow that the work is done. You can teach Tegan all that she needs to know. Too bad she can't be useful to you, though," she scoffed. "Really, Doctor. It would be much better if you would just get that crate fixed and get me home than to waste my time teaching me something that has no relevance on my life."
"What is that cluster over there?" the Doctor rolled to his side and faced her, raising up on his elbow to glance at her.
"What?"
"Answer the question, Tegan. What is that cluster over there?" he asked nonchalantly. She shook her head, but then answered lowly: "The Triad cluster."
"Yes. And if I were to ask you how to get there, what would you say? Hmm?" he asked quietly. He settled his head on his hand and speared her with a glance.
"I don't know your temporal mechanics or Rassilonian maths, Doctor," Tegan said with an edge. "And I'll thank you kindly"
"How would YOU get there?" he murmured.
She sighed, seeing no way out of this conversation except to completely tell him to bugger off, and answered him slowly. "If it were with a rocket, I suppose I would have to get off the planet, away from the gravity. If it were with the TARDISI would say that I would have to get out that star chart thing you use and find the centeryou always do. And then where we are nowand thena guess look a little to the right and find the Triad cluster."
"Why to the right?" he asked, urging her to continue.
"Because that is the direction that we were traveling from the center when we came here. Well at least right as the chart had laid on the table" she sighed. "I wouldn't know the coordinatescouldn't do the maths to save my life."
"But you knew to look to the right. That is very good. I spend my time trying to remember the spatial and temporal coordinates rather than look with common sense. And I suppose that Adric would be the same. Nyssa might go about it a little less mathematically, but she would follow the same lines. And through it all, your common sense would have gotten us there quicker and with less stress. You know how to read maps"
"Of course," she answered, turning her eyes to him finally. He seemed intent on her for some reason. "I flew my father's plane in Brisbane, you know. Have to be able to read those charts to do that."
"So if you could understand the coordinate system and how it is spaced from the galactic center, you could figure out where to gowithout calculating"
Tegan tightened her mouth. "Yes. But a lot of good that would do us."
"And you learned all of this by simply watching me."
She shrugged. The sky behind his head was turning a violent rich purple.
"How long did it take you to learn the plane? The Cessna, wasn't it?" He lifted his head slightly and set it back down on his hand. His other hand picked at the grass blades by his and her sides. "I rather think you were a fast study"
"I don't know. A year, maybeyear and a half."
"When you were whatsixteen?"
"Fourteen. My father died when I was fifteen," she stated matter of factly.
"I'm sorry," he offered, with a small frown. "Fourteen? Rather young, wasn't it?"
"I don't knownot really." She rolled her eyes and turned them skyward again. "Doctor, what are you getting at"
"You are mechanically minded and can think through problems in a rational, common sense manner. You are adept with tools and your hands and have a basic understanding that you don't know everything. That is the best of all places to start, Tegan. And, you are not afraid of making mistakes"
"Doctor," she complained, whined almost, and closed her eyes. He talked over her.
"You would rather make a mistake than do nothing. I tend to sit on my hands rather than react sometimesit's the Time Lord in me, I'm afraid. You provoke me into doing somethinganything. And you inspire othersI've seen you convince Nyssa and Adric to do what must be done"
"Making a character study of me, are you?" she stated, slightly awed by the interpretation, but bothered just as much to feel like a bug under a magnifying glass.
He looked past her, his eyes growing distant. "Do you want to go home, Tegan? Really?"
His eyes centered on hers as she slowly swung her head around to stare at him. "I have seen the exploration fire burning in you. Couldn't have traveled around the universe for this long with as many people as I have without recognizing that spark."
"You buggeryou are trying to convince me to stop bothering you about home," she stated, her lips smiling in spite of her anger. She had him pegged, she knew it. He shook his head, slowly, picking up a blade of grass and holding in front of his eyes.
"Quite the contrary, TeganI'm trying to convince you to continue traveling with us," he answered and slowly slid to his back again.
Tegan squinted and kept quiet, staring at the blackening sky. Her eyes searched the heavens, centering on a single cloud that glowed an amazing crimson and violet. She had many questions and knew that the Doctor was, in his own roundabout way, trying to offer a proverbial olive branch. "Why?" she simply asked, quietly.
"You fit in better than you know," the Doctor answered matter of fact. "My character study of you is quite good, Tegan. As is my guess that you will remember this landscape, rather microscopically, and will draw it tonight. Probably in the cloisters, as is your habit. I've found your sketch pad in the eating areayou've sketched most of ourmisadventures should I say."
"How did you"
He waved a hand in the air. "Not important soyou are an observant companion who can offer a great deal to the efficiency of our adventures, and serve as the voice of reason more often than not. You love traveling. Are extremely pragmatic and are good with your hands. Andyou love beauty. Worship it in a way that is verydifferent. You want to see what the universe has to offer in that way as well"
Tegan opened and shut her mouth several times. Turning slightly on her side, she rose on her elbow as he had. He was gazing intently at the heavens and ignored her questioning look. In fact, if she looked closely, she could see the look of slight embarrassment on his face, as though the words had taken a lot for him to say. "Doctor? How did you know"
"I love beauty as wellin all of my livesin all of the places I have gone" he answered, slowly. " I told you I could see that spark in you. The adventurous, driving force that drives all of us to travel like this. But I can see that same love of beauty that I have in you as well."
His skin darkened in embarrassment, but he kept his eyes trained heavenward. She reached over and prodded his midsection, rewarding her with a start and a glare from her Time Lord friend. His eyes flew to hers and she could see how much it cost him to say what he had. " Doc?"
"Yesthink on it, Tegan. You are more than welcome to stay aboard the TARDIS. Might not be as homely as wellyour home, I'm afraidbut it can be a rather good home away from home. And I think Nyssa and I and Adric to a certain extent, would miss you if you left."
"Even my mouth on legs approach to life?"
"Yesit can be trying, Tegan, at times, but I am willing to try to mend some of the bridges that you burned rather completely"
"I burned."
"Obliterated?"
"Doctor" she warned lowly.
"I believe another way of saying it would betore down, stamped on and then torched?" the Doctor offered with a smile.
She fumed, but soon lowered her eyes to stare at his hand. Its slender form still held the blade of grass. He tossed it to the side and then centered his gaze on her. "Lay back, Tegan, you are missing the best part"
She frowned, but as she laid back she saw he was correct. The sky was incredible. It looked to her to be a flickering flame, all blue and green and orange, red, purple and yellowall at once. It was every color in between. Her breathing hitched as she stared above, at the stars breaking through the now black clouds and the last rays touching the underside of those same clouds. It was golden and silver and copper.
"Incrediblelike a dream." Tegan breathed.
The Doctor smiled, understanding her interest. "Isn't it, though? I always loved Aros 3, a little gem of a planet."
She and the Doctor laid side by side, not touching and yet closer than they had ever been, for an hour watching and commenting on the slow mutation of color in the heavens. They stayed until the last of the rays of the day had disappeared and the entire sky was pitch black save for the thousands of stars shining overhead. And then, as the twilight drew close and the air grew chilly, Tegan and the Doctor rose and walked to the TARDIS, exchanging only small talk.
The Doctor held the door as Tegan stopped to stare out at the rolling hills now under a deep black night sky. She laid her hand on the solidity of the TARDIS and her eyes scanning the beauty of the world around her. It was her eyes, shining black in the night, that caught his interest. He could see the deep seated shyness that keep her from expressing her real thoughts, keeping them hidden in layers of sarcasm and brashness. That shyness shone for a few moments, transforming her face into a softer, more wonder filled version of her usual expression.
"It is beautiful, Doc."
"There are more planets like this one, Tegan."
She centered her stare on him for a moment and he could see the thought process flashing through her mind. And then, her mouth formed a perfect smile and she released an audible sigh. "I hate that you know me this well, Doc"
"Someone has to, hmmm" he commented.
She frowned. "I have to think on itI miss home."
"We all dobut if we let that hold us back, I rather think the universe would never have been explored."
She nodded, her eyes finally staring at him. He gave her a half smile. She turned and glanced at the interior of the TARDIS, the brightly lit console room hidden in the darkness of the open door. She disappeared within, her jacket slung over her shoulder.
When the door closed, the Doctor knew his Australian companion had made her mind up. She was going to stay.
