A/N: Hey guys and gals, I'm back with yet another one-shot that I completed today. Given that I had been a bit busy recently, I've placed 'Fateful Decisions' on a temporary hiatus, for now. But don't worry, it will be continued...as soon as I'm able to continue that chapter, and to garner ideas of to continue on. So, don't worry. :)
This Rade (what else? lol) fanfic is based off on the Diddly-Bops episode, on the part where Cat asks Tori to help Jade put on her costume, only except I've replaced Tori with Robbie. Hope you like.
Oh yes, the usual disclaimer. I don't own Victorious.
Putting it on
"Ha. You're a pizza? And in a children's performance? How...fitting." Rex laughed. Robbie sighed as he gave his puppet best friend a look.
"Rex, it's not funny." He said, a bit exasperated. He had to dress up as a pepperoni and mushroom pizza as a part of a performance that he and his friends were due to give at Lane's old college roommate's four-year old son's birthday party. It was a part of Sikowitz's idea after the original kid band, 'The Waggafuffles', had disappeared in a mysterious plane crash, and truth be told, Robbie really was not looking forward to that, and his friends apparently had the same idea except possibly Cat, but the reward of a whopping one thousand dollars was not something that one would pass over easily.
"But it is! And I get to mock you. How fun!" Rex smarted off.
Heaving out another sigh, Robbie shook his head as he walked across the stage toward one of the dressing rooms to change into his costume when something - more like someone else - interrupted him.
"Hey, you gotta help Jade." Cat said, running up to him. Robbie raised an eyebrow.
"Uh, with what?" He inquired, a confused expression taking hold on his face as he and Rex looked at each other.
"She can't get her boobs in the hamburger."
Robbie stared blankly at Cat for a moment, blinking as his mind whirled around what the red-haired girl had said. Jade couldn't fit her...boobs in the hamburger? What did she mea - oh.
The hamburger costume, for the Diddly-Bops performance that was due to begin in fifteen minutes or so.
Feeling his throat get a bit dry, and sensing the hint of a blush creeping up his face, Robbie coughed and cleared his throat a bit awkwardly before addressing his ditzy friend who was looking up at him intently.
"Um...uh...you kno-" He was interrupted by Rex, who chose to add in his two cents at that moment.
"Boobs and hamburger, you say? Two of my most favorite things in the world in the same sentence." Rex piped up, sounding delighted. "Rob, take me there now!" He turned to Robbie in a commanding tone.
"Rex!" Robbie scolded his best friend, clapping a hand over Rex's wooden lips before turning to Cat, who was gasping. "Don't listen to him." He stammered before pausing to think over his next words.
"Um...I think you should help her out." Robbie finally spoke out.
Cat shook her head. "I tried, but we still couldn't fit Jade's boobs in. So I thought that if you helped out, you could get them in." Cat said innocently.
Robbie blinked again, feeling the blush on his cheeks intensify a bit, and something churn in his stomach a bit.
Was Cat...doing something with Jade's boobs...? Robbie mentally slapped himself to dispel the naughty thoughts that were beginning to form in his mind. 'Get a hold of yourself, Robbie!' He mentally berated himself before he felt Rex's mouth begin to move against his hand, knowing that Rex was trying to say something, but it came out muffled.
Robbie somehow knew what Rex would say. And he knew that Cat and himself probably wouldn't want to hear that.
"Uh...um...as much I-I would like to help out, I think you should ask Tori - hey!" Robbie was cut off when Cat grabbed his hand and began dragging him through the curtains to one of the dressing rooms, where Jade was in. Somehow, on nearly stumbling over himself while being dragged by Cat, Robbie had dropped Rex. The dummy landed on the floor with a plop.
"Rex!" Robbie cried out, trying to wrench himself out of Cat's iron grip, to no avail. He gazed helplessly over his shoulder at the crumpled heap on the floor that was Rex, lying there lifeless.
"Jade! Jade! I got some help!" Cat yelled out as she pushed one of the doors open.
"Finally." Jade rolled her eyes as she stood up from her dressing room chair, not seeing who Cat had dragged in. Picking up her oversized hamburger costume that she had been trying for, like, forever to put over her tight-fitting black body suit, Jade turned around.
And froze in her tracks.
"R-Robbie?" She said in a disbelieving tone, her eyes widening a bit. "You brought him here?" She shot a glare at Cat.
"I didn't see anyone else, so I took him." Cat explained, looking over at Robbie, who smiled sheepishly at Jade.
"Still, you couldn't find anyone - you know what, never mind. He'll have to do." Jade sighed reluctantly, a frown on her slightly-tanned face and slight irritation in her voice as she looked Robbie over, feeling slightly thankful at the notable absence of the damn puppet that Robbie was always carrying around. She had always found Rex to be...unsavory, to put it lightly.
'Of course.' Robbie thought a bit dryly to himself as Cat squealed in excitement, clapping her hands while Jade rolled her eyes. There was a reason why he didn't really want to help out, not least because of the fact that Jade couldn't stand him. He had tried to suggest that Tori help out, but he didn't have the chance to get the word in edgewise.
Hence, he was here, being forced to help Jade put on her hamburger costume. He hoped it would get done quick, and that Jade wouldn't kill him or anything like that.
But at least, he wouldn't be alone. Cat was here -
"Oh hey, I gotta get changed now. So see you all soon!" With that, Cat was gone, leaving Robbie and Jade alone.
Of course.
The silence in the dressing room was awkward as Robbie stood there, his hands twitching slightly, as he surveyed Jade, who was looking everywhere but him. Oh, he wished Rex was with him, it would help to alleviate the situation. But no, it was not to be.
Robbie was all by himself, alone. And in the same room as her. Jade West, the dark Goth girl who could barely stand him.
Feeling his throat constrict a bit, and his heartbeat speeding up a bit because of the sheer awkwardness in the air that was so thick that one could literally cut through it with a knife (more like a scissor), Robbie heard Jade heave out a sigh.
"...let's get this over with." Jade spoke, and Robbie stared at her blankly, his mind not quite...comprehending what she said.
Jade seemed to realize this as she quickly followed up with: "I mean, put this hamburger outfit on. I can't fit my boobs into it, so we have to do something about it." She looked at Robbie. "But don't get any ideas, you pervert! We have ten minutes before the act begins, you know." She glared at him.
Robbie nodded meekly. "Yes ma'am." Jade rolled her eyes at this.
"Well, help me get in my costume then." She said as she offered her outfit to him. Robbie took it, and noted that it felt...lighter than it looked. Shrugging, he walked closer to Jade, and lifting it up, began to put it on her. Jade put her arms out through the hem of the costume, but by then Robbie could see that she had some difficulty getting through the costume. For one thing, the collar looked pretty small, and Jade had some difficulty wiggling her body through.
"Pull it down some more!" Robbie could hear Jade's muffled voice from inside the hamburger costume, where she had yet to pop her head out through its 'collar', and he pulled down harder, succeeding in getting the costume over her shoulders and part of her upper torso. Although light, the costume was indeed a bit unwieldy to handle, and Robbie struggled to hold it in place and to pull it down.
However, it was at this part that Robbie realized Cat was right. The costume's small collar and Jade's large breasts didn't fit together.
'No! Don't think of that!' Robbie shook his mind to clear it up before it conjured some...images of Jade's ample breasts.
"Um...I can't pull it down anymore." Robbie said as he tried to pull the costume down more, to no avail. It was lodged there, due to Jade's breasts.
"It's my breasts." Jade's voice rang out from inside her costume. "You'll have to get them in. And don't try to grope me!"
Despite his hammering heart, heated cheeks, and nervousness coursing through him, Robbie nodded before he realized Jade couldn't see him. "I'll try, but how?" He inquired, confused.
"You'll have to squeeze them in, and pull the costume down while you do that."
Oh. My. God.
Robbie swore he could faint right there and then. He was going to touch Jade's breasts...and she would probably do him in after the act.
"Y-you mean-" Robbie said, stuttering a bit.
"Yes, I mean that! Now hurry up, it's getting a bit hot inside the costume!"
"O-ok." Robbie said, gulping nervously. Little did he know was that Jade was blushing from inside the costume. "I'll hold the costume up like -" Robbie stammered a bit as his mind whirled around what he was going to do next, trying to figure out what to do next.
'Lord, help me.' Robbie prayed mentally as he walked behind Jade, holding up the costume with one hand. His hand shaking from a mixture of nervousness and anticipation, Robbie proceeded to reluctantly place it on top of Jade's left breast - and heard a soft gasp from Jade. He swore he was going to have a nuclear meltdown right there. He had never felt anything so...soft, so ample before. And Jade's breast was quite large, and his hand didn't quite cover it all up.
Almost immediately, he felt something...firm press up against the palm of his hand. Confusion dawned down upon him for a moment before his eyes finally widened in realization, and his lips parted in a soft gasp.
Jade...Jade...
She wasn't wearing a bra under her body suit.
Before he could mull over this surprising realization, Robbie knew he had to help her out before he pissed her off, or something like that. Or blacked out from fainting, or the combination of them both. He pressed down on her breast, trying not to inadvertently squeeze it, and slid the costume down at the same time.
What surprised him, however, was the quiet moan that emanated from Jade. It was so quiet that Robbie had nearly missed it, but he heard it nevertheless. And it took him off-guard...and even turned him on a bit.
Once again, not knowing what else to think any further over this in this situation, Robbie succeeded in getting the hem of the costume over Jade's left breast, and he proceeded to her right one, walking around her.
Taking in a breath to calm himself down - and failing miserably - Robbie proceeded to do what he had done to the other breast. He put his hand on it, feeling something hard protrude into it once again, and squeezed it down, eliciting the same reaction from Jade, and pulling the costume over it.
The hardest part was now finally over, and Robbie helped Jade to wiggle through the costume. At last, her head appeared through the opening on the top of the hamburger, and her hands soon followed through the two slits that were on the front of the costume. Jade shook her head a bit to try to untangle her hair from the costume.
The awkward silence ensued in the room once again as Robbie took a step back, putting his hands in his pockets as he surveyed Jade. Having gotten comfortable in her costume, Jade turned to him, her usual evil expression on her face. However, she looked a bit...flustered, her cheeks a bit rosy.
"Um...thanks, I guess." Jade said quietly after a moment of silence.
Robbie mustered a small smile. "Uh, you're welcome, I guess." He replied, his voice shaking a bit.
Silence prevailed once again as Robbie tried to think of something to say. Finally, a thought struck him.
"Um, well, I'm gonna get changed into my costume now, so...see you in a bit." Robbie said a bit awkwardly as he looked at Jade before leaving the dressing room, his legs feeling a bit weak, the recent...situation still fresh on his mind.
Little did Robbie know was that Jade was thinking similar thoughts as she stared after his departing back.
A/N: Yep, this is probably the first time I've written a fanfic where Robbie and Jade doesn't kiss (even though Robbie did touch Jade's breasts, lol). This is supposed to be a one-shot, although I can expand this into a two-shot if you want. Let me know in the reviews, or shoot me a PM. Whatever floats your boat.
Oh, and this is a T-rated fanfic, even although this has content that might be considered as 'mature' (well, that is, if touching breasts is considered 'mature'). Wait, oh yeah, this fanfic has some...suggestive content in it. Yeah, that's what I meant, lol.
With all said, enjoy this fanfic. :)
GallaudetLurker, proud member of the Rade Revolution.
