Author: viva321
Fandom: smallville
Ship: clex
Warnings: none
Rating: G
Status: complete (oneshot)
Summary: Clark deals with fears.
Fears
Chloe is afraid of being forgotten. She worries that if there's no record of her life, did she exist? She strives for remembrance and struggles for individuality, dressing wildy and assuming outrageous beliefs, so that in a crowd of people she'll be recognized. She wants to know everything, because that way she's part of it.
Clark thinks Chloe will be a great reporter.
On the day he told her his secret, she washed the blue dye out of her hair.
"I don't need it anymore," she said.
Lana is afraid of failure. That she'll make a mistake and no one will love her anymore. Deep down, she's a perfectionist, and beats herself up for every little mistake. She dates the football star, dresses in pink, and mourns her parents excessively. Sometimes, at the end of the day she can't remember anything she's said. When Whitney asked her to marry him, she said yes and thought she was dead. But if she keeps pretending, maybe one day it will all come true, and she'll be happy.
Clark brought her flowers on her wedding day. It's okay, the note said. You don't have to pretend.
She got a divorce.
Pete is afraid that he won't figure out what to do with his life. He pictures himself drifting from job to job, place to place, and never settling down. He doesn't have any talents, and fears that whatever career he undertakes will be the wrong one. He vacillates between academics and sports, math and history, football and baseball. Smallville entices him with its stability, but there he can never be more than mediocre and he doesn't know if that will satisfy. Metropolis is overwhelming with options but how can he choose the right one?
Clark smiles and tells him to go to Metropolis, because Smallville will always have a place for him and so will Clark. He goes, and some days he calls Clark for help. Some days he doesn't.
The calls are getting less frequent.
Lex is afraid of being alone. That everyone will leave him and he'll never see them again. He pushes people away, because Lionel taught him to embrace his fears. He's terrified when Clark won't leave.
Clark holds him tightly.
Every time Clark touches him Lex can feel himself relax, and waves of tension that he has no recollection of gaining roll off his back.
It's good to be held.
Clark has dreams of test tubes and scissors and syringes. He worries that he's a bad son, that he should fear his parents death more, but the thought's so unreal he can't grasp it. Sometimes he wakes up screaming and he'll cry for hours. He flinches every time he hears the word experiment.
Lex hates it when Clark cries. He kisses Clark's tears off his face and makes him hot cocoa. The routine is set now, and they retreat to the living room to wait out morning.
When Clark finished his last science class, Lex took him out to dinner to celebrate.
Lex doesn't know how to teach Clark not to be afraid, but he must have done something right because yesterday Clark visited him in his lab.
Lex doesn't know that Clark can't fear anything connected with Lex for long, and Lex has always been a scientist.
They don't have to hold each other anymore.
They still do.
