Oh, I had these ideas so long ago….
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. I do not own the characters Dave Karofsky, Brittany Pierce, Santana Lopez, Artie Abrams, Kurt Hummel, or Blaine Anderson.
Sometimes Dave thought he understood how easily Santana had figured out his secret. After a while as an inwardly accepting gay, it was easier for him to see the signs when someone else was in the closet. It had only taken a couple of months as Santana's beard for Dave to find out what exact girl crush he was covering for. It wasn't hard for him to notice Brittany Pierce would often be nearby with that wheelchair kid when Santana would decide they needed to stand closer, or hold hands, or show some other form of intimacy.
He didn't exercise the same "precaution" nearly as often, but sometimes, if he was having a particularly bad day, and he happened to get assaulted by those fairies Hummel and Warbler PDA, he'd ignore the hypocritically condescending look the Latina would give him when he went to wrap his arms around her waist.
When he closed his locker door and someone was standing on the other side of it, he didn't flinch or blink, because Santana tended to do that. It took him a beat too long, in which he did jump, to figure out that it was Brittany who'd appeared.
"What- what do you want?" he managed to spit out. Recently he'd been one of the nicer personalities- having to be in the Bully Whips didn't leave him with much of an option. Having been taken by surprise, though, his question came out a bit more sharply than intended. Brittany didn't seem offended though- he assumed she was one of those trigger people. You had to cross a certain line to upset her.
Had to be, if she was that close to Santana.
"A baby panda would be nice… they're so adorable when they're young…"
He stared at her for a little over ten seconds before he'd completely decided she wasn't joking. Then, since it seemed she would say nothing else, he waved a little and walked around her towards his next class.
"Wait! Dave, hold up!" if she hadn't called him by his first name, like only a select few did, he probably wouldn't have stopped. He was used to stopping for those people… his parent… his teachers… Hummel…
When he pivoted to face the blonde again, the halls were nearly clear. He'd already been running late.
"Yes?" he said.
"Are you letting Kurt cheat on Blaine with you?" she asked, voice as spacey and distant as ever. Her expression, on the other hand, was fairly concerned.
"Umm… wha- No! What would make you think that?" flustered and fairly annoyed, he glanced around her, trying to think of an appropriate way to excuse himself.
She stared at him for a moment. Then as if she needed a better view, she stood closer to him and got on tip-toe to glare straight into his eyes.
"You know… making out with a guy isn't talking with your tongues super close, if that's what Kurt told you," she was very crisp about it, as if it was too stupid a thought for even her to fall for.
"Brittany, I wouldn't cheat on Santana," he sighed. Not like he'd be with Santana if Kurt would even blink his way, dating that dumb blazer kid or not.
"That doesn't matter to me," Brittany said shaking her head. "I just want to know if anything's going on between you and Kurt."
Surprised, but deciding not to question her reaction there, he continued, "Do you really think Kurt would do that to his boy toy, Blondie?"
"Kurt doesn't follow rules when he wants someone. Last year he made Rachel look like a shark because he found out she liked Finn."
"I'm not his type." He really wished he didn't have to argue this point.
"Yes you are. You're more his type than Blaine is, actually…" she was confident.
"What makes you say that?"
"He liked Finn and Sam. Tall jocks. Blaine's short and the only sport he watches is football. He liked Finn more and longer, and Finn was pale with brown hair." Brittany started to ramble, but ended promptly, so it seemed it was all in a list after all.
He shook his head. "You're imagining things."
"But I see the looks you give each other when you think the other isn't looking!" she protested. "I don't want to see this happen to Kurt… and I don't want him to keep being unhappy with Blaine."
"He's very happy with Blaine."
"No he's not. Even I can tell that."
They stared at each other for another moment. Dave turned right back around without even bothering to try and win the argument. The looks you give each other when you think the other isn't looking… had Kurt been looking at him too?
He spun quickly, suddenly needing a distraction again. "Hey, why wouldn't you care if I cheated on Santana?" He almost regretted blurting out the thought in the hallway, but no one, not even the reliable Jacob Ben Israel was there to watch them talk anymore.
"You guys are birding for each other, right?" she said.
His mind scrambled a bit too long before he figured out what she meant.
"I'm… I'm not gay…" a comment he realized would have helped his side of the disagreement earlier on.
She looked rather condescending to be as stupid as she was. "Kurt would be hurting Blaine if he was cheating. But when you bird for someone, there's no feelings, so it really shouldn't matter…. And… I bet Santana would be happy for you."
Once again, he found himself staring at the blonde, stupid, ridiculously insightful girl.
The boy in the wheelchair showed up, and she gave him a half-hearted smile before settling into the kid's lap.
"Tell Santana I miss her… but I can't help it."
He figured something else out he would have never picked up on before… but really, who would expect Brittany S. Pierce to be bi?
Yeah, so there… I think I meant for it to be different when I first thought of it, but I don't think Santana and Dave had gotten together back then… wow, I need to pick up the pace with these things.
