Blaine's eyes fall upon Kurt and he feels his heart clenching painfully. He wonders if Kurt had looked like that while reading his messages too, back before they got together and then when Kurt was at McKinley and Blaine still at Dalton.
The worst thing is that Kurt thinks it's all normal, as if saying, "I like the way he makes me feel," is something you're supposed to tell your boyfriend. He doesn't think he's being an hypocrite because with Sebastian he never thought about leaving Kurt, never even joked about being together with someone else.
He thought they could act like adults, that even if they are just at their first relationship, they could go about it in the mature way talking about problems when they arise.
It downs on him suddenly how much they haven't been talking about them, about what's going to happen come Fall, and even though Blaine knew from the start that Kurt was leaving, he hasn't anticipated feeling like Kurt isn't just going to leave Lima but him as well.
Blaine was sure Kurt would have noticed that something was different, would have somehow known how Blaine felt, would have understood that Blaine needed to be reassured about his place in Kurt's life. It turned out that for all the songs they sing and the kisses they exchange, they aren't okay.
Blaine finds himself sat in an absurd therapy session with Ms. Pillsbury of all people, shouting about his lotion and the way Kurt treats waiters and little things that shouldn't matter as much as they do when piled together.
Fighting makes him feel more real in some twisted way, makes him wonder if it will bring them closer. The problem is that Blaine has unconsciously started pulling away from Kurt before time in the hope that seeing Kurt leave would hurt less then. But he's honest when he says that Kurt is the love of his life, or at least it feels like that now that they're kids on the verge of real life.
However, he can't help but wonder if breaking up would hurt Kurt as much as it'd hurt him, wonders how quickly Kurt would move on.
Blaine is pretty sure he'll end up with his heart broken and no friend (not that he'd ever regret changing schools and spending as much time with Kurt as possible) but he still makes peace with Kurt because time is running fast and he needs to treasure every moment.
If I could say what you'd like to hear,
I'd whisper in your ear,
"It's only temporary."
A/N: Title and lyrics are from Marianas Trench's song, "By Now" which is like a Klaine song for me. This was just a little insight in Blaine's mind. Please, review!
