Till We Say Goodbye
A/N: I never wrote anything like this in my entire life, so I'm sorry if it's total crap. This is my first try to write smut and, well, I really don't know how it worked out. I would be grateful if you could review and tell me how to make myself better and did you like it or not. This is also the longest story I wrote in one piece, so I'm even pretty pleased how it came out. So, try to enjoy! xD
Louis' POV
Harry and I were cuddled up in front of our plasma TV. We were watching The Lion King and Timon and Pumbaa just came on the screen. We were laughing at their silliness and started singing Hakuna Matata along with them. My head was resting on Harry's bare chest and his hand was around me. I felt peaceful for the first time after a break up with Eleanor. It's weird that it happened two days ago and I sill haven't told Harry. Something told me it's not the right time. I don't know what I was waiting for. Well, maybe I knew why I didn't tell him, but I was scared to admit it. I was terrified, actually, and afraid of my own feelings. I sighed and Harry felt it. His gaze fell on me. He was worried.
"Are you okay? "He asked, his green eyes piercing my blue ones. I never knew how to lie. Harry always read me and I knew there's no chance of lying but I couldn't tell him my real reasons. So I just smiled to him weakly and let my head fall down on his chest again.
"Yeah, I'm fine ", I could feel him shaking his head but he let it go. His hand was travelling through my hair and suddenly I became aware of everything – the way that his soft fingers were slightly brushing against my skin. The way that his skin felt warm against my head; the way his breath was catching my face - and the way my lips were dry. I shivered wondering where did all that come from. My hand moved, touching his chest. He smiled still watching the movie. I couldn't watch it though. My vision became blurry and all I could think about was Harry. Then I did something I thought I won't ever do. I wasn't thinking; it was just something I did with an instinct.
I lifted my head, warm immediately disappearing. He watched me as I brought my lips to his ear. I kissed him slightly on neck, closing my eyes. My lips travelled down his neck making him shiver. We've done this million times but now it was just different. My teeth came to life as I bit hard. Then I heard it. I heard Harry moan. I was surprised and shocked at the same time but I continued. I bit one more time, same sound coming from Harry. And I found myself smiling at it. My hand was holding his neck keeping him steady. He grabbed it roughly and removed it. My lips abounded his neck. I watched him suffer. I watched him being scared. I didn't know what I was actually doing. My hand tangled into his curly hair and I pulled him closer. When our lips touched it was like something woke in me. I felt rush, desire, need, wanting and… love. So much love that it hurts. I felt him loosen up. He put his hands around my waist, pulling me closer, if that was even possible. At the same time it felt so wrong and so right. I was numb. I lost all my thoughts and all I could think was how Harry's lips felt good on mine. His tongue was asking for an entrance, so I opened my mouth allowing it. Our tongues started fighting for dominance. I found myself not wanting to lose this feeling. I didn't want to stop. I didn't want to lose Harry. His hands grabbed my T-shirt, almost ripping it off. I took his hands and guided them under it. It was bordering me and though I didn't want to break the kiss, we did. Harry pulled my T-shirt up and took it off, throwing it on the floor. His lips found mine again, none of us saying anything. His body was hot and so was mine. I wanted him for so long – I was just so damn afraid to admit it. And now, finally, he's in my arms. His lips were on mine and that was all that mattered.
He pulled me down so he was lying on top of me. He separated our lips and then he was kissing my neck. I breathed heavily, my fingers holding his hair tight. I could feel him getting hard, his cock pressed against mine. He put my nipple in his mouth and grabbed it with his teeth.
"Harry", I moaned. He grinned and he continued kissing my chest leaving love bites all over it. He unbuttoned my pants with his teeth and pulled it down. That gave him a good look on my situation which made him grin ever wider. One look was enough to know that we both wanted it. We both needed it more than we needed anything else. It was terrifying and exciting in the same time. I pulled him up by his hair and kissed him hard, my tongue in his mouth immediately. He moaned and pulled my boxers away at the same time. There was so much passion and love from both of us. I loved the feeling Harry's giving to me. I never felt anything like this in my entire life and I never wanted to lose that. His lips once again left mine, getting lower again. He grabbed my cock making me make noises that I didn't even know I have in me. It was all so fun to him so he giggled. His hand was replaced by his mouth. He was kissing the head and then he got the cock deeper in his mouth – licking it and kissing it. I thought I was going to explode. "H-Harry, fuck!" I was so close and Harry felt it too. I knew he was pleased with himself. But before he let me cum, he pulled my cock out of his mouth and kissed me again, letting me taste myself. He pressed his cock against mine and moved. That was enough. I let a scream – painful and pleasing at the same time. Harry was looking at me, with his beautiful green eyes that made me love him even more. I smiled to him gently and run my hand down his back. I grabbed his butt and pressed it. Harry groaned – I loved when he's doing that – and shut his eyes. I pressed my lips against the skin of his ear. "I want you – inside me. Now", I whispered. That seemed to assure him to continue. His fingers travelled through my body coming to my cock. I felt him putting one finger in me, teasing me. I groaned in pleasure and he smiled. He moved it up and down making me moan more and more. Second finger slipped in, joining another one. Sometimes I thought that he wasn't even aware of how he makes me feel… but he knew – and he was taking advantage of it. He put the other hand on my chest and pulled me close to him again, kissing me with same passion as always. He pulled his fingers out of me and, within seconds, I could feel him inside me. I groaned in his lips and he had along with me. His eyes opened watching me, still not moving. He was asking for permission. I smiled at him, running my fingers through his hair. I nodded, assuring him again. I would never expect Harry to ask permission for anything, but he did. And I was kind of glad because it's like that. It made me feel special. Harry wasn't like that with everyone.
He started moving. We were both feeling pain and pleasure. I stuck my fingernails in his back, tears showing around my eyes. At first, he was going slowly. None of us had done this before with a guy and we were both scared. I wrapped my legs around his waist, moving along with him. He got deeper in me, moving faster. Both of us were moaning and both of us never wanted this moment to end. He was mine and I was his. Finally, after such a long time, we were both where we belonged.
"I love you", I whispered. Harry smiled and kissed my temple. We were both close so Harry slowed it down. We weren't ready to end it just now.
"I love you too, Lou", he whispered back and these words were the only words I needed to hear. He kissed my neck, my shoulder and my chest almost as he wanted to feel every part of me. He fastened once more time and I came. I let scream escape my lips. I could see that Harry was there. After a few seconds, he let out a loud groan, breathing heavily. I could see in his eyes that he really meant it – those five words.
We were lying on the couch. His head was resting on my chest, his whole weight on me. We weren't talking. We were enjoying silence. I listened to Harry's steady heartbeat as I was running fingers through his hair. That was when he said something that surprised me.
"You have no idea how long I waited for this to happen." He seemed distant. He was staring at the wall in front of him. I never actually thought of how he felt and when he started to feel it. Maybe I was ensured that he was confused as I was. I was wrong.
"How long?" I asked him, staring at the ceiling. He snorted, shaking his head. He looked at me, his chin on my chest.
"About a year… I don't know. It was so hard being around you and not being able to do anything. Gosh, how I wanted you. Sometimes I was so close to grabbing you at some concert and fucking you in front of everyone that I barely controlled it." My eyes widened. A year? He was feeling this way for a year now and he didn't say anything? I took a deep breath, looking away and then turning my gaze back to Harry. He looked so vulnerable that I barely found words to say.
"Harry… Why didn't you say anything? Why would you keep your mouth closed for a year? Harry, that's not what I wanted. Ever. Damn, I should've said something and not let you go through that alone." He looked away and I could see guilt in his eyes. Then he shook his head again, lifting it a little.
"Louis, you were with Hannah. You were suffering from break up. Then you've found Eleanor…" That was the moment when Harry stopped like he remembered something. His eyes widened. "Eleanor! You're with Eleanor! O my God, Louis, why didn't you say anything?" Fuck, I forgot to tell him. I held back a laugh and stroked his cheek.
"I forgot to tell you. I kind of broke up with her two days ago." I looked away with my lips pressed together. I could clearly see shock on his face. I thought he was going to get mad for not telling him but he didn't yell.
"Why?" He asked and I couldn't escape his deep gaze. I watched him for a few seconds and then I took another deep breath. I lifted one corner of my lips, trying to smile as best as I could.
"I told her that I'm in love with someone else." Now was Harry's turn to be surprised. "Don't be surprised. I figured it out – I was just denying it. I told myself that I cannot love you because you won't return my love. But I still broke up with her because I couldn't pretend. Maybe if I knew sooner, we would already be together. I never had to hide it." Harry smiled widely and then kissed me softly. Just as kiss was getting deeper, there was a knock on a door. "Fuck." Harry muttered, pulling away.
"Who is it?" I asked and, along with Harry, getting dressed as fast as I could. I hated that someone interrupted us. We were having our perfect moment and, of course, someone had to ruin it.
"We're here!" My anger melted almost immediately as I heard Niall's happy voice. Harry was half-dressed – he just needed to put his shirt on. It wasn't weird for Harry to be without shirt (or naked, when we're already talking about that), so I told him to go open the door. I put my T-shirt on 'cause, let's be honest, they didn't get used to me being without some piece of my clothes. Niall, Liam and Zayn walked in our living room with grins on their faces. When they saw a mess we made… well, they were shocked. I would be too. The counterpane that was covering couch was now on the floor, the coffee table was turned around and bunch of stuff were on the floor. Fuck.
"What happened in here?" Liam asked, looking around room. I gave Harry helpless look but he wasn't much of a help because he was wearing pretty much same expression. I tried to save us because we both weren't ready to tell anyone what happened in here. Not yet.
"Ummmmm, w-we started to… play. Um, we watched The Lion King so we were playfully fighting." I scratched my neck. Fuck, I really sucked at lying. I was looking at the floor which wasn't a good sigh. They knew I was lying but they, to my own surprise, let it go. They helped us clean up so we were once again sitting on a couch, watching some action film. Harry and I weren't cuddling. We weren't even touching. We both knew that, if we do so, we wouldn't stop ourselves and everything would be ruined. I glanced at him few times – same times when he was looking at me. He would always give me a weak smile. I could see he's holding himself again. Truthfully, I wanted to jump on him and made love to him forever but I couldn't do that and it was killing me inside. It looked like film lasted more than two hours (which was too long, too) and when it was finally over, I let a breath of relief. Of course, boys weren't going home yet. Not that I don't love them, I do, but, you know, I needed Harry. Damn.
"So, what are we going to do next?" Zayn asked, getting a beer outta the fridge. "Maybe we could go to the club and get drunk." He really was on for it. He looked at me with hope in his eyes. If this was any other time, space, dimension, I would say 'Hell yeah!', but it wasn't. I smiled to him shaking my head.
"I'm not in a mood. I feel like sleeping…" …with Harry all night long. I finished in my head. Harry almost choked with his own beer. I smirked at him, giving him a knowing look. He just knew me too well. Zayn shrugged and got back to the boys asking each of them same thing. To my surprise, Niall accepted it. After a few minutes, they were gone. There was still Liam, casually chatting with Harry.
"…so when she walked into the room and saw what I did… well, her face expression was priceless. I will never forget it. God, how much I love her." I bear against counter behind them. Harry looked at me with love in his eyes and I gave him the same look. As Liam looked up to see where Harry's looking, we broke the contact. Liam looked suspicious and I almost thought he's got through the whole pretend thing. Maybe he did because he stood up, hugging Harry. "I've got to run. I'm meeting Danielle soon. See you tomorrow, guys." He came to me and gave me a hug. It was something personal about it, like he really knew. I sighed, letting the thought go because I didn't need one more thing on my mind. He smiled to me and then he was gone. Harry and I were alone again in a room filled with silence. He looked at me again. I approached to him and hugged him tightly.
"We'll be fine", I said to him and I could feel him smiling. I looked at him in the eyes and smiled seductively. "Now… Can I have my way with you?" He chuckled and looked away. His eyes got back to mine. He wrapped his arms around my neck and he jumped, wrapping his legs around my waist. I put my arms around his waist, smiling to a younger man in front of me that was mine.
"Of course you can." I kissed him deeply. All I could feel was love that was shared between us. It was all I needed. I got into my room, closing a door behind us. It's going to be perfect.
-1 month later-
Harry and I were lying in our bed, our bodies tangled together. I loved the way his skin felt against mine – warm and soft and it made me calm. I could feel his breath against my neck. I smiled at that. We were together for a month now but we kept it hidden from everyone. I was assured that at least Liam knew something, but nobody said a thing, so we kept it for ourselves.
"We should get going", Harry said with a sigh. I groaned. None of us wanted to leave the bed - not just yet. Harry climbed on top of me and smiled gently. His eyes were sparkling with joy. I think I will never get used to fact that he's all mine. It seemed like a dream. He kissed me softly and then he was already out of the bed. I watched his naked body thrusting in front of me. I knew he was just looking for proper clothes, but damn, it's was sexy. I licked my lips and Harry saw it. He lifted one eyebrow up with wonder.
"You know, if we aren't already ten minutes late, I would get you back in the bed and done things I can't believe I never did before." He chuckled and shook his head. He put on his boxers – to my very own disappointment – and stood in front of the bed. He took my hands and pulled me up.
"C'mon, pretty boy, up." He was smirking at me and I rolled my eyes. I got out of the bed and started to get dressed. I was wearing my red pants and white T-shirt and, for God's sake, Harry almost started to dress like me. The only difference was that he was wearing blue pants and his T-shirt was black. I laughed. He looked so confused that it was adorable.
"You're copying me." I pouted and crossed my arms on my chest. He was looking at me with dump look, but them he realised and started laughed. He came closer, grabbing my face with both his hands and pecking me on the lips.
"I'm sorry. It's not my fault you have such incredible taste in clothes." He playfully punched me in the arm and I couldn't help but to grin.
"I know. But I still won't accept your apology. We'll see what we can do about that later." He rolled his eyes but the smile still not disappearing from his face. We managed to leave the room, which was surprising, and boys were already waiting for us in living room. I lifted my eyebrows in surprise. Fuck. We just left same room together, holding hands. Harry immediately removed it, grabbing his phone as an excuse.
"H-how did you guys come in?" I asked and I already knew they're expecting some answers. I wasn't ready for it – not yet. But when I thought this through I realised that, if I'm not ready now, I will never be. Zayn rolled his eyes, looking kind of pissed. Actually, they all looked pissed. I hoped it was just because we're late.
"Please, we know where you're hiding your keys", Zayn said and I looked away. Harry was acting that he's texting. When I looked, indiscernible, I saw what he wrote: Think they know. Or assume, at least. Better tell it now than later. I sighed. He was right, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Zayn stood up, his eyes piercing mine so hard that I couldn't look away.
"What's going on here? You were at the same room together, then you came out of it looking all lovey-dovey and holding hands – not that you never did that before but it looks different. Not just now but for awhile. Do you have something to tell us?" I looked at Harry and expression that I saw was killing me. He looked so scared and so terrified. He looked desperate and almost guilty. I didn't know what I, we, should do. It's hard with hiding, but it would be even harder with coming out. I took a deep breath, trying to think. We were both silent, both of us just looking at each other. Niall, Liam and Zayn were all standing, waiting for an answer. I wanted to scream 'cause there was just too much pressure. My head was spinning and in one moment I thought I will faint. I closed my eyes, my palms turning into fists. When I looked again, my vision was blurry. Then I realised I was crying. I looked away. I wasn't a type of person who cries often, but when I do, I don't like to be seen. I felt Harry's hand slightly brushing against mine and I calmed a little. Harry was first to talk.
"I… we… look, it's not easy for us. You're just staring like that, with judging looks and it's not helping! Look what you're doing to Louis! And I can't even form a sentence." Even though he meant all of it, he was trying to give us time. Then I remembered we were supposed to be at the studio fifteen minutes ago. Seems like nobody cared. Somehow, the look on our friends' faces softened but they didn't say anything. They were waiting. I looked at Harry once again and shrugged. I was still scared as shit and close to falling apart but I came to a phase where I just wanted to get it over with. Harry sighed and grabbed my hand, pulling me closer. I felt relief immediately. It was amazing how he made me feel. I never felt safer. "We're together. For a month now", he blurted out, keeping an eye contact with them. I was sure they knew it, but their jaws dropped open and the anger faded away. I smiled, leaning against Harry's shoulder. Then Liam started laughing and Niall came to us and hugged us both. He started jumping from excitement which made us almost fall.
"I knew it! I knew that you're together! Agh, you're so cute!" I was taken aback by Niall's comment. I thought they're going to be mad for not telling them earlier or something. But Zayn and Liam joined the hug, smiling from ear to ear.
"You have to know that we're supportive and that we're always going to be there for you no matter what happens", Liam said and I smiled widely. I have Harry, I have my supportive friends, I have amazing career and that was almost everything I needed.
We were still hiding from the world. Boys knew and two days later, we told our families. They were okay with it – they said that it was obvious that it'll happen someday and that we should love who he love. I can't believe that everybody actually saw it. Guess we had special relationship from very beginning.
We were all cuddled up at couch, watching some romance film. Niall and Zayn were fighting for a food, Liam was silently watching a film and he actually looked intrigued and Harry and I were sucking each other's faces out. He was sitting in my lap and we really tried to concentrate on film but we didn't succeed. I was almost on top of him and, fuck, I didn't care that boys were there.
"Guys, please, pay attention!" Zayn's voice interrupted us. I separated our lips unwillingly and looked over at Zayn. He looked annoyed and almost offended.
"What?" I asked like I didn't just make out with Harry, their best friend and band mate, in front of them. Yeah, I am their best friend and band mate too, but you get the point. Zayn rolled his eyes, but smile still found a way to his face. He shook his head and looked at almost same situation, that were Harry and I, on the film now. I smirked and Harry was wearing pretty much same expression.
"Okay, I totally hate the fact that I find you adorable and kind of hot – and that comes from my friendly heart, by the way – but can you at least be two seconds without you, Louis, sucking his face or inversely, whatever?" I sighed and, like a mad child, sat back against couch. Harry still stayed in my lap and it was distracting – especially when he started to whisper me dirty stuff in the ear. I became hornier immediately and it took all my unwilling will to get myself together. I was holding his hand too tightly and he just chuckled. He knew what he's making me feel, so he continued.
"I want to rip that shirt and lick you all over. And I want to see that big thing under the pants and drive you crazy more than I'm driving you now. And imagine things we could do that we never did. Oh, what I still want to do with you. I can't wait to try it." He kissed my neck and by that time I was sweating like crazy. My grip on his hand became stronger. I couldn't control it anymore. I kissed him passionately, showing my tongue down his throat. He moaned and guys groaned in annoyance.
"Ugh, go to a room. Please", Zayn said and, this time, I listened to him. I took Harry by hand and made love to him like never before, not even caring that boys are in the room next door.
- 5 months later -
Harry's POV
I slightly shook Louis but he didn't respond. He looked so peaceful when he's sleeping that I found it hard to wake him up. I could stare at him forever. I brought my lips close to his ear.
"C'mon, Lou, wake up. We have big day in front of us", I whispered softly. He muttered something and then he slowly opened his eyes. He smiled weakly and gave me a little peck on lips. He sighed deeply and took a good look on me.
"You're already dressed", he stated. He gave me questioning look and then it was like he remembered something. He smiled widely. "Happy six month anniversary, Hazza", I laughed, loving the fact that he remembered. I kissed him one more time, wanting him to feel everything I did, even though I knew he did. Last six months were the best time of my life. I had Louis - everything I ever needed, wanted - and we had a blast. Of course, there was fighting, but mostly about stupid, little things... nothing that sex couldn't heal. When were already talking about that, it was more than amazing. He was amazing boyfriend and I hope that, one day, we will both be brave enough to come out to the world. Yes, we were still hiding and only the ones closest to us knew it. I guess we were both too scared of reactions we might get. We weren't prepared and I'm scared that we might never be.
Finally, I took him by his hands and brought him in sitting position. He groaned in disapproval but I just smiled. "Happy six month anniversary, Lou. I have prepared whole day. It'll be our first real date and you'll love it." I couldn't help but to feel excited and totally overwhelmed. I was smiling widely, looking at surprised Louis. He returned smile and he was out of the bed within seconds. I was wearing short trousers and T-shirt with V-cutout 'cause it was a hot day. I opened his wardrobe and grabbed pair of short, white pants that just looked so good on him and dark blue T-shirt. He was already wearing his boxers and waited for me. I smiled to him, giving him clothes. "Put on it and kill me with your hotness. Well, you already did, but do it again." I winked and he laughed. He took clothes from me and dressed it up.
"So?" he asked like he already didn't know that he looks dashing. I put my hands around his waist and pulled him closer. I closed my eyes, enjoying the way our chests were touching, heartbeats going crazy. I kissed him on a forehead, smiling slightly.
"It's not fair that my boyfriend looks better than me", I pouted and he just shook his head, along with smile. His blue eyes that would always take my breath away were watching me like I've gone crazy.
"Don't you ever say that again. You're beautiful and maybe even more than you should be because you're driving me crazy every time I see you. Your soul is pure and loving and I couldn't ask for anything else. You have an amazing voice and your green eyes are so hypnotizing that I always get lost in them." I smiled at his words and so did he. "That's what makes you beautiful", he said and I couldn't help but laugh. I kissed him, making it last just a little longer.
"I love you so much. You're everything to me, Louis." I sighed. "I don't know what I would do without you." His smile never left his face. I never thought any person could make me feel the way Louis did. It was insane and wonderful at the same time. Then I let out the hold on his grip and came to the table where a little, black box was. One corner of my lips lifted as I was holding it. I turned back to Louis. "I thought that I'll give you this tonight, but I figured out that, if we're already here, I could give it now. I just want you to remember that, even when it seems like it's too hard or that you have no one that I'm here. I'll always be." I gave him a box, waiting for his reaction with anticipation. He opened the box and his jaw dropped open. I could see tears that were finding his way to his face. He looked at me and gave me the most special smile I've ever got.
"Harry, it's… it's beautiful. I can't even find words to describe the feelings I'm feeling right now. I love you, Harry. I love you that it hurts sometimes. You're the most special person I've ever met and I never want to let you go." I was taken aback with words that Louis just said but I got it all back together. I smiled and shook my head. I couldn't believe that this beautiful man with beautiful soul is just mine. I couldn't hide my emotions anymore. I was never good at it. "Put it on my hand", he said and I took a silver bracelet from the box. It said: My love will always be there. I wanted Louis to know that. That's why I bought it on a first place. I put it on his hand and kissed it. "I have something for you too." I looked at him surprised. I didn't expect anything – his love was all I ever needed from him. Still, when he took out little, white box, I couldn't help but to smile. When I opened it, I was shocked.
Always yours. - That's what dark red necklace said. It was in a half heart shape and it was absolutely breath taking.
"Louis, it's… oh my God, I've never expected this. It's gorgeous." He took it off the box and stood behind me. He put it on me and kissed my neck.
"You're gorgeous. Don't ever forget that." I tangled my fingers in his hair, turning my head toward him. I kissed him passionately, meaning every emotion I put in that kiss. I never wanted to be without him. And I knew I will try to accomplish that.
"Where are we going?" Louis asked and I just smirked, taking him by the hand. I didn't say anything. I wanted him to be surprised because his expression was priceless. I loved seeing him that way. That was a sign that I did something good. I've always tried around Louis. I've always wanted to be the best boyfriend I could be. I was trying and I think I was pretty good. Sometimes, or even the most of the times, Harry that public saw and Harry that Louis saw, were totally different person. Harry that public saw was a heartbreaker, cheeky, funny and a little bit selfish one. But the one that Louis saw was one full of love, maybe even adorable (yeah, I'm a little selfish), grateful for the love of his life and the only person he saw and care was Louis. I wanted to show that person more. I wanted to shout, scream and sing how much I love Louis. I wanted whole world to know that and I was really hoping that, one day, we'll both be less afraid and we could do that – tell the world. He was the only person I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I knew that already.
We got into a car, with a bodyguard by our side. Even though I organized everything that way that nobody can actually see or find us, it was for the best if we had the bodyguard. There were always fans that could find us; by accident or that they knew where we were. Louis was looking at me suspiciously while holding my hand. I just smiled at him. We were driving about ten minutes when we came to the cinema. That was the moment when that adorable surprise look came. I laughed, but then he started to look scared.
"But people will see us." Car stopped in front of the backdoor and we came out of the car.
"No, they won't. Believe me." I smiled, trying to calm him down. I squeezed his hand tightly, giving him knowledge that we'll be fine. We always were. As we're walking to the head room of cinema, Louis loosened up a little bit, aware of the fact that we will be alone. I managed to arrange us one film that we can watch without the "audience". One good thing about being famous is that you can practically get everything you want. We sat in the back of the cinema and I could see that Louis is really happy. Seeing him happy, made me feel even happier because I knew that I did something good. "Do you like this?" I asked him, wrapping my arm around his shoulders. He snuggled up as best as he could. His smile was just infectious.
"Very. This is perfect", he said and gave me a peck on the lips. I choose 'The Vow' because I thought it would be perfect romance film for us to watch. It seemed like Louis liked my choice too which made me loosen up. He, being in my arms, was the only right thing. It was always right. Sometimes I like to think that we were meant to meet and be together. If somebody, two years ago, told me I'm going to meet amazing, gorgeous guy and fall in love with him, I would say that he's completely out of his mind. I've never expected that I'll fall in love with a guy. I've never had anything against gays but I always liked girls and Louis managed to change that. Never have I ever felt the connection I feel with Louis with someone else. Never have I ever loved someone like him. He's my world, my inspiration. He makes me braver and stronger. If I ever lose him, I don't think I'll survive. It was a crazy thought but I knew it was true. So I whispered him the words I knew I will repeat over and over again like I did now.
"I love you." He closed his eyes and sighed. When he looked at me again, his eyes were a bit shiny and smile that was covering his face was enough. I kissed him softly and I actually wouldn't care if someone even walked through that door. My hands cupped him face, keeping him close. I never wanted to let him go. "Thank you, Louis, for existing."
We were, once again, in a car. Film has finished and, even though we didn't pay much attention, it was still amazing experience. The next stop we made was at the city where we brought ice-creams. Well, we weren't but our bodyguard brought us, so we ate it in the car. Whole Boulevard was filled with people and wherever we looked there was at least one person wearing something from One Direction which was pretty fun to watch. But, then the one thing happened that scared us both. Two girls were close to our car (thank God for dark windows) and we overheard their conversation.
"…oh, I know! And that moment when Harry said they're dating. I mean, I know they aren't really together but it's still fun to imagine, right? Imagine them, kissing, hugging… and doing other things." Two girls giggled. Blush found a way to my face and I couldn't hide it. Louis wore same expression too.
"But, I really think it could be true. You know, they are acting like couple. They're teasing each other a lot and everything but it sometimes seems like there's more underneath, don't you think? By the way, Louis and Harry are perfect match", said the other girl. I felt my heart beating fast. Louis' hand was supporting me, but he was scared too. Were we that obvious? We were always saying things in interviews like that we're together or just pretended to be a couple. Of course, we were actually but we would always laugh it out. We knew that there are people that assumed we are together but we never took it seriously. Now, I wasn't so sure.
"Yes, I know what you mean. Sure, most of the times it seems like teasing, but the other time it looks like there's more. And I could bet there is. Maybe there is but they're afraid to show it or something. If it's so, I hope they'll find their strength. They know that Directioners are always there for them." I felt tears streaming down my face. Suddenly, I had an urge to came out of the car and tell those to girls that they are right and that we're broken and that we don't know what to do. I looked at Louis.
"I think it's time", I said, almost sure in my words. But I knew that Louis felt it when he nodded shortly. Our faces were covered with tears and none of us tried to stop or hide them. I wanted to do this right. I meant to show the world my real face, not a mask. I kissed Louis' temple, trying to stay strong for both of us. "We'll be fine", I said and thinking that that's our sentence. 'Cause we'll be fine no matter what happened. I saw a couple of paparazzi and that was enough. I put my hand on a knob. I sighed deeply one more time, holding Louis' hand tightly. I pulled the knob and door opened. I stepped with one foot outside. That two girls that were turned around from us, now were watching what's going on. My heart beat as crazy as my head felt fresh air. Girls screamed. I pulled Louis with me. With whole body outside and Louis by my side, both of us looking like we just came from hell, we were surrounded in milliseconds. I tried to keep my shit together and if Louis wasn't there I would probably broke. I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't see anything. Paparazzi were asking questions, people were screaming, my heart was beating fast. I tried to come back to life, looking blankly in front of myself.
"So are you two really together?" Paparazzi asked. I blinked few times and I tried to find the words. They were there, somewhere, I could feel them. I sighed and smiled just a little.
"Yes, we are. For a six months now", I said surprisingly calmed. Louis squeezed my hand even tightly, giving me support and strength I needed so bad. There were 'O my God's', 'I can't believe it' and many other things in the crowd but the only thing I could do now was to smile even widely. Truth was out and I felt like a big stone fell from my heart. Questions were asked but I've never asked one of them – nor was Louis. I pulled him with me and we were hustling trough the crowd. Fan girls tried to grab us, paparazzi tried to catch us but none of us really cared. We were here, walking and holding hands and there was nobody happier than us in that moment.
Story of us being together came out in The Sun next morning. Boys saw it and congratulated us on courage. Management was mad that we came out because they thought it was going to harm our image. Some fans were lost but, what's the most important thing, we got more support. Reading fans replays on Twitter was priceless and it made me crazy. With Louis beside me, I thanked them for support because we did appreciate it more than anything. The following day, we had an interview. Of course, interviewer basically asked questions about Louis and me and 'Larry Stylinson'. We answered it all because we didn't have anything to hide anymore. It was such a relief to be out. We didn't have to pretend anymore. We were in love and we were showing it wherever we could – concerts, interviews, Twitter… I loved Louis Tomlinson. Always have and always will.
'Cause we'll be fine till we say goodbye.
