Transplantations, Story 1

Rating: PG-13, only for the language; could probably pass for PG

Disclaimer: Kaho Mitsuki is CLAMP's. The FMA characters are similarly not mine. Who woulda guessed?

Series Summary: Stories wherein characters from other universes are integrated into the FMA universe.

Chapter Summary: Colonel Kaho Mitsuki. Everyone loves her. Except Roy Mustang...

Notes: Evidently I think it's fun to find someone who just bugs the heck out of Roy... Knowledge of Card Captor Sakura would be helpful, but my goal is for it to not be absolutely necessary. How well I'll succeed at that, I don't know... But the only background you might need is that Kaho Mitsuki is psychic. And provokes strong reactions in people. Though all that's implied in the fic...

(-)

1. Kaho Mitsuki

(-)

"So. You've been transferred here."

"Yes," Col. Mitsuki said cheerfully.

"Wonderful," Roy muttered. "You're going to say you predicted this, right?"

"I did tell you that our paths would cross again--"

"Wow, THAT was out of left field. Never could've predicted that one. I have a question: when do you leave?"

Col. Mitsuki chuckled. "I've always found it amusing that I seem to be the one woman on base that you don't like."

"And I seem to be the only person on the base who doesn't like you. Yes, it is strange. I seem to be the only discerning person on base."

"Colonel Mustang?" Hawkeye walked in, and stopped in her tracks when she saw the willowy colonel stanging in the center of the room. "Colonel Mitsuki! I didn't know you'd been transferred here!"

"I don't think I'll be able to stay for long," Col. Mitsuki said, with her perpetual warm smile.

"Oh, THAT prediction took precognitive ability," Roy muttered.

"Well, we'll have to catch up tonight, then. I know this place--"

"I'll meet you after work," Mitsuki said. "You'll have to lead the way."

"Of course..."

Roy let his head bang on the desk, amazed and infuriated that a sensible woman like Hawkeye wouldn't be able to see through this damn charlatan's machinations.

"Colonel Mustang," Hawkeye said, and snaped a salute. "Edward's here to see you, sir."

"Wonderful," Roy sighed. "Bring him in."

"So, how're you plotting to get me killed THIS-- who're you?" Ed blinked at Col. Mitsuki.

"Colonel Kaho Mitsuki," she said, and put out a hand. "I've been transferred here, but I'm afraid I won't be staying for long. Your commanding officer hates me."

"THAT took a psychic," Roy muttered.

"Huh," Ed said. "Too bad. I'm Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. And this is my brother Al."

"I've heard of you two," she said. "You must be very proud of your older brother, Al. You'll have a long shadow to find your way out of, but I'm sure you'll be all right."

Roy almost moaned in irritation as he could practically see her little spell taking effect on the two entranced boys. How had the old wench known their weak points!

"Thanks!" Al said.

"Huh," Ed said, with a surprised half-smile. "I thought all colonels were assholes."

Roy cleared his throat. "If you'll recall, I have a new assignment for you, Fullmetal..."

"Arrgh." Ed stomped up and snatched the file out of his hand. "Ceralyn? Hell'm I going there for?"

"A rumor of a Stone there, what else?"

"Ah come on, I can tell from this the guy's a con man..."

"If you could," Roy said sweetly, "why would I be sending you?"

"'Cause you're a sadistic bastard?" Ed suggested.

Roy rolled his eyes. "Why I let you question orders like this I don't know."

"--Oh God, AKERS is stationed there! God, no! I'm not going!"

"Fullmetal--"

"I'm serious! I hate Akers!"

"Which is why he wants you to go," Col. Mitsuki said serenely.

Ed's head snapped around. Roy almost snapped himself.

"You see, he needs you to cause trouble for Akers so he'll be focused on other things for a while," Mistuki said, still with that perpetual warm smile that completely pissed Roy off. "With Akers distracted by the scandals, paperwork, and twelve kinds of frustration that you will inevitably cause, certain... projects of Roy's are much likely to go unnoticed. This isn't entirely frivolous. Will you go?"

Ed blinked and smiled at her sweetly. "Ma'am, yes, ma'am!" He snapped her a salute. "Will there be anything else, Col. Mitsuki?"

"No, Fullmetal. You and your brother have a nice trip, okay?"

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am!" Ed snaped her another salute, threw a smug smile at Mustang, and marched out the door.

The silence was broken by the steady thumping of Roy's head against his desk. Col. Mitsuki waited three seconds for him to realize he was doing it, stop, and say something.

"...You do realize he's only obeying you to spite me," he said.

"Partly, yes," she said, turning that unbearable smile on him again. "But partly he's trying to persuade you to act the same way. He really would be so much more tractable if you'd just tell him a few things. Treat him with a little more respect."

"...Get the hell out of my office."

"I'll see you at the meeting this afternoon," she said, and exited.

Roy knew there was no meeting scheduled for that afternoon, but with that woman's damnable luck, there no doubt would be.

He sighed and, for once, hoped that her prediction of not staying long would come true.

-

"Col. Mitsuki!"

Roy nearly hurt himself trying to restrain his fury as Ed walked into the room. Kaho Mitsuki was, of course, there. Ed was, of course, actually on time with his mission report for possibly the first time ever. And, knowing his secret objectives, Ed had, of course, accomplished them all perfectly, maybe even better than usual, because God obviously hated Flame Alchemists and Kaho Mitsuki was the simpering, damnably serene angel of his wrath.

"My report," Ed said, and threw it on his desk.

"I already know what's in it," Roy said, his head in his hands. "You don't have to tell me."

Ed blinked rapidly and looked at Col. Mitsuki.

She shrugged, still smiling serenely. "I tend to provoke strong reactions in people."

"Evidently," Ed said.

"But like I was about to tell Col. Mustang, I have news. I'm being transferred again."

Roy's head snapped up, giving him no time or inclination to hide the smile of joy that spread across his face.

"Aw, man!" Ed cried. "Who the hell decided that!"

She just kept smiling, a little more softly, and got down to his level. "But there's something I wanted to tell you, before I have to go. Something you may someday find useful."

Roy rolled his eyes.

"Do you know how to get out of a maze? This kind of thing comes up."

Ed blinked. "Uh, something about keeping one hand on a wall?"

"But that only works if all the walls are connected," Al noted, equally puzzled.

"True," she said. "But remember: the best way to get out of a maze... is to break down the walls."

A slow, delighted grin came over Ed's face as he processed this.

"Good luck," she said, ruffling his hair as she got up. "You'll find what you're looking for... but not today."

"Madame Sibyl," Roy muttered.

"Goodbye, Mustang!" She waved cheerfully and left. Ed snapped her a salute as she went.

"FINALLY," Roy sighed.

"The hell is your problem with her, anyway?" Ed snapped.

"She-- thinks she knows everything-- she's so damn--uh--" Roy paused.

"You know, come to think of it, I'm not entirely sure..."

"Useless wench," Ed muttered.

(-)