Author's Note: I'm at it again! I just wanted to write a one-shot but this wouldn't stop coming. Okay, so first off - I know Cailan and Anora were betrothed as children but it's relevant later. Creative license and all that. Haelia is mentioned as (according to the codex) the Bann that united the lords together under the Cousland banner to drive the werewolves out of their lands, resulting in Highever becoming a Teyrn. I also may have slipped up and referred to Oriana as Orlesian, but I think I caught those references. This won't go through all the gameplay, but it will touch here and there.

The title comes from this quote by Albert Camus: "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

Disclaimer: Not mine, Bioware owns it.


Haelia Cousland, named after a charismatic female ancestor, had never been a particularly violent young woman. She loved swordplay, certainly, but she had never killed a man until the Howe attack. She spent most of her time balancing herself between her mother's wants and her father's. She took riding lessons and dance lessons, practiced in the yard with her daggers, sat in on debates and conferences. When she wasn't being groomed, she took to the streets. She would spend time amongst those in Highever, doing what she could for her father's people. They never needed much, but someone always needed something.

When the rich families vying for her father's favors (or sometimes, just their friends) came to visit, Haelia would play her games. She began as a child, nicking bread and a coin or two when she could be sure she would not be caught. She then tried to convince the other children (and sometimes older individuals) of things that were outlandish but just believable enough.

Her (unwilling) partner in crime was one Ser Gilmore, a boy and then man that she grew to care for as she did herself. He was like another limb of her person; something that she had just accepted would always be there. She loved him in much the same way, though it was not until she was nearing seventeen that she actually came to realize it. There had been some talk when Haelia was too young to realize what marriage was when there were talks of a possible betrothal to Cailan, although they were short-lived as Loghain seemed determined to marry Cailin to Anora. The justification was, mostly, that Haelia was too young – she was, after all, almost a decade younger. Bryce was all too happy to end the discussions, while Eleanor was slightly disappointed – being the Queen would be no small success for her daughter. Bann Teagan was, at one point, brought up but she was again found to be too young, although these proposals came after puberty. So, for the most part, Haelia was left alone about her future husband for the majority of her youth.

When Bann Loren's wife and son came to visit, the discussion of her marriage was brought up once more. Eleanor and Landra made references (not too thinly veiled at that) about Dairren, the latter's son. Haelia's brother Fergus had been married for several years now and it was coming upon the time for the younger Cousland to do the same. Arl Howe, whom was visiting the same weekend before they took off to join the King's army, had also mentioned his son as a likelihood on more than one occasion. Thomas, she thought he had said. Thomas was a prig. Nathaniel – she had always liked him insomuch that he was patient while he tried to teach her with a bow when she was much younger and he rarely treated her like a child. But Howe didn't mention Nathaniel and she had no clue why.

All of the nuptial conversations had her running, despite her father's insistence that she go and find her brother. She wouldn't go right away; dinner had yet to happen, they could wait. Haelia disappeared into the orchard, over a hundred yards from the gates. Clamoring soundlessly into the same tree she had been climbing for years, Haelia curved her body into the nook that a branch created. She sighed heavily, holding her dress up around her knees so that there would be no sign of her from the ground.

Ser Gilmore, however, knew her far too well. Not ten minutes (because he had to keep far enough back as to not be seen, of course) after she found her beloved spot, the tall, sturdy frame of one her father's knights was haunting the ground below her. He clanked quietly from beneath her and Haelia stretched her head a little over her shoulder, careful not to lean too far.

"Roderick?"

"Yes, my lady?"

Haelia sighed and rolled her eyes, which Ser Gilmore knew but could not see, as she did nearly every time he addressed her so. Which he always did. "Why did you follow me?"

"Don't I always?"

Haelia snorted in an incredibly unladylike manner, something she would have never thought to do around her mother, before she moved in a way that would allow her to swing down from the branch she was on. She released her hands and, instead of ground beneath her soft shoes, warm hands caught her at the waist.

Slowly, Roderick lowered her to the ground. His gauntlets were there beside her feet, having been removed hastily as to catch her gently. Haelia looked up at him with the pale blue eyes she had inherited from her father and raised a sculpted black eyebrow, the color of her hair having been passed on from her paternal grandmother.

"Will you always?" She spoke quietly, her words refined from years of tutelage. A wisp of her dark hair broke free from the elaborate braid on the back of her head and Roderick's hand lifted a little. Instead of tucking the hair away, he removed both of his hands and clasped them behind his back.

"Of course, my lady."

Haelia frowned imperceptibly before she ducked down and gathered up the gauntlets that Ser Gilmore had tossed aside. When she stood again, the knight's dark green eyes were watching her. The wind ruffled his red hair gently and he did not bother to straighten it. Haelia offered her hands out to Ser Gilmore and from them he took his gauntlets, hooking them to his belt where they rested while they were unneeded.

"So, with so many guests today why have you taken to your tree?"

Haelia backed away a little and leaned her back against the tree she had previously sat in, knowing she would have to change before dinner but not caring. "No particular reason."

He gave her a long, knowing look and shook his head. "Both of us know that is not the truth, my lady."

The noble-born young woman crossed her arms defiantly over her chest and blew at the strand of hair she had yet to place behind her ear. "Of what concern is it to you, Ser Gilmore?"

"Ahh," he half-smiled and leaned against the tree across from hers. "Was it Dairren today?"

"And Thomas Howe. Next week, they will dredge up some relative of the King's or some long-lost cousin of my father's," Haelia groaned, letting herself drop to the ground at the bottom of the tree. Ser Gilmore moved from his spot and with little effort knelt beside her. Tilting her head back, she shifted her eyes from her hands to the face of the man at her side. "Sometimes I wish I had been born a milkmaid. At least then I would get to choose the Blighted arse I'm to spend the rest of my days with."

"Certainly your parents allow you some discretion – your father has always been a kind, thoughtful man," Roderick spoke plainly, adjusting his sword at his side to keep it out of the dirt.

"Yes, perhaps – but if I say no to every proposal, eventually they won't have much of a choice."

He chuckled a little and shook his head, "Then why say no to every offer?"

Haelia turned her face back to look at Roderick and her expression was blank, her eyes slightly wider than normal. Slowly, the edge of her lip curved up. She lowered her head, looking away from him. Her fingers began to fidget in her lap. "...They are not exactly what I want." Her voice was quiet and finally she splayed her fingers out across the dress that covered her thighs. Inhaling deeply she gently slapped her legs and offered a smile to the man beside her.

Ser Gilmore stood and then offered an uncovered hand to the young woman, whom he helped to stand fluidly. Dusting herself off, she took the offered arm of the knight and let him lead her back to Castle Cousland.

"...You should wear the blue and silver dress, if I may be so bold, my lady," Ser Gilmore spoke as they neared the front gates, his head tilted as to speak quietly into her ear.

"So that I may impress the Grey Warden? I do not believe that being color-coordinated will help win me any favors," Haelia laughed quietly, leaning gently into him. "It is likely the one my mother had laid out for me at any rate; she prefers it as well, which means she believes that Dairren will as well."

Ser Gilmore swallowed tightly but cleared his throat, "Grey Warden? I had heard he was here but did not know to what end."

"He – Duncan, I believe – is looking for recruits. My mother would rather join herself than send me," she laughed again, more deeply at the concept of her mother in Warden armor. "My father believes he is here for you. I would say he would be hard-pressed to find a better candidate."

The knight's cheeks colored a little and he chuckled nervously, "Thank you, my lady. Can you imagine it? Me, as a Grey Warden."

She could. In fact, she had been all morning. Were he a Grey Warden and not her father's knight, he would be a member of the once-prestigious (and hopefully again soon to be) order and therefore an eligible catch for Haelia.

"It would be an honor," she smiled, gently removing her arm from around his as they reached her room. "Warden Gilmore, eh?" Lifting her hand, she turned her body away from him and opened her bedroom door. "I thank you for your escort, Ser Gilmore." She lowered herself in a curtsy close enough to the floor to be for a king. This did not escape the red-headed kight, whom blushed in response before he bowed at the waist.

"I will return before dinner, my lady."

After closing the door behind her, Haelia's face fell considerably and her shoulders drooped. With a heavy sigh, Haelia began undressing. A bath had already been drawn, the once-hot water now warm. She slid herself into the water and removed what dirt had clung to her skin during the day. Afterward, she applied the scented oils that her mother had placed in her rooms.

A knock sounded on her door and in entered a young woman, one of the ladies-in-waiting of the Cousland women. She curtseyed to Haelia and began to help her to dress before fixing her hair into an even more elaborate up-do. Light make-up in the form of lip stain and kohl for the eyes, things brought from Antiva via Haelia's sister-in-law Oriana, were applied. A necklace and earrings were hung upon her person, her family's signet ring place on her hand. Finally, Haelia was released.

Ser Gilmore stood outside of her bedroom, standing guard unnecessarily with his back to her door. Haelia cleared her throat, watching him curiously from her place directly in front of the still-open door.

When the knight turned, he was struck momentarily with a bought of apoplexy. Certainly he had seen her in such a state before. He could not truly put his finger on why he was so taken aback but that did not change the fact that he was. It took him a moment to find himself again and he shook his head as if trying to shake the daze he felt he was in before he offered her his arm.

"Good evening, my lady. You look well."

"I look ridiculous," she responded with a half-laugh. "I love Oriana but I do not understand how one could stand to wear this much of a statement every day. A simple dress is often too outlandish for me. Give me my leathers any day."

"A milk maid would still, most likely, have to wear a dress," he chuckled and covered her hand on his arm with his unthinkingly.

"Will you be joining us for dinner this evening, Ser Gilmore?"

"Yes, my lady. Your father invited me, I imagine due to the Grey Warden's visit."

"I would hope so!" Haelia nodded emphatically, "He will fall for your charms and steal you away before the morning sun."

"Do you wish me to leave so soon, my lady?" Ser Gilmore prodded, laughter in his voice at her suggestion.

"Never," Haelia murmured before she could stop herself. Her porcelain cheeks flared with color and she turned her face away from him, trying to hide her embarrassment. "...It would be difficult to find a replacement for you."

He turned his gaze to find hers but she still would not look at him. He did what he could to hide his smile as they approached the dining hall. Escorting her to her seat, the other men in the hall all stood.

"Good evening, pup. And you, Ser Gilmore." Teyrn Bryce Cousland addressed his daughter and her escort, nodding to the two. He was at the head of the table, his wife to his side. Fergus, her brother, was to the left with his wife and son beside him. Lady Landra took up Haelia's normal position beside Eleanor, Dairren beside his mother. Howe sat beside little Oren with an empty seat for Ser Gilmore beside him, Duncan the Grey Warden at the foot, and Haelia meant to sit beside Dairren. Across from Ser Gilmore.

Haelia curtseyed as Ser Gilmore pulled her seat out for her, at which point he bowed and then moved over to take his seat as the other men did so as well.

"Is it normal to invite your knights to your dinner table?" Dairren asked quietly to Haelia, leaning over a little too close.

Haelia cleared her throat and looked across the table to the man whom had already struck up a conversation with Duncan. "No, my lord. We do not often have the opportunity have a Grey Warden at our table, either." Haelia could feel Eleanor's gaze on her and she sighed internally. "Nor do we normally have such fine guests as yourself and your mother either."

Truth be told, Dairren was a handsome young man. He was perhaps four years older than she was, give or take a few months. He was the son of a lesser noble, Bann Loren – a decent man, by all counts. Dairren himself was the sort of man that would rather read about a battle than partake in one, though not entirely because he was a coward. Mostly because he did not much care for violence, something that Haelia could agree with. He was pleasant enough but awfully dull.

"...and you spar often with the young Lady Cousland, is that correct?" Duncan spoke from Haelia's side, his words directed at Ser Gilmore.

"Yes, though she prefers dual-wielding to a sword and shield. In fact, there were recently rats in the-"

"...orchard," Haelia interrupted, knowing that her mother would be incredibly frustrated by the suggestion that there were rats in the larder (which there had been) in front of guests, "...and Ser Gilmore took most of them out before I even had a chance to draw my weapons."

Ser Gilmore's cheeks flushed at the lie but he did not speak to correct it until Duncan, giving Haelia a look that said he was not fooled, smiled a little. "Is that so? Do you two have much experience fighting rats, then?"

"No, we tend to stick to the practice dummies. Mather – my mabari – found the rats and I was afraid there might be too many of them. We were taking a walk in the orchard when we came upon the scene," Haelia offered and could feel the eyes of her mother on her cheek again, knowing that she was paying too little attention to Dairren for the older Cousland's liking. Also, while her mother did not disapprove of the time that her daughter spent with the knight, she did not believe it was prudent to speak about it in front of a prospective match. For that was, of course, what Eleanor thought Dairren was.

"Do you walk often in the orchards?" Dairren asked as the first course was being served.

"Frequently, yes. I love the smell of apples and company is always appreciated. Occasionally we will bring Oren with us. Isn't that right, little one?" Haelia smiled lovingly at her nephew across the table. The boy was closer in age to her than her brother, whom was a decade her senior.

The little boy nodded vehemently. "Auntie Haelia and Ser Gilmore play hide-and-seek with me. Even Mather plays sometimes."

At the sound of his name a second time, Mather barked from behind Haelia's chair. She hadn't noticed him settle in behind her but she was not entirely surprised he had.

Dairren jumped a little – another strike. Not a dog person. Haelia chanced a glance across the table at Ser Gilmore, who seemed entirely unperturbed by Mather's announcement. Duncan, too, took little notice other than to smile slightly.

The dinner went smoothly, for the most part. Eleanor was pleased with the servants' performance as well as the cook's delicious meal. Duncan seemed interested in Gilmore, as Haelia thought he would be. Unfortunately, too, was that Dairren seemed interested in her.


Near the end of the meal, as dessert was being set down, Haelia jumped a little in her chair at the feel of a warm hand on her thigh. She knew exactly where the arm would lead and tried her best to gently remove the offending digits from her person. Ser Gilmore saw the interaction but remained quiet, though his cheeks reddened ever-so-slightly. Haelia cleared her throat and made to take up her fork. Dairren, nonplussed, leaned closer to her.

"...this evening, I would very much like to speak to you in the library."

Perhaps he was not as dull as Haelia had originally thought. However, the offer did not suit her very well. She knew that her mother would love the idea of a quiet rendez-vous (for conversation only, of course) between herself and Dairren but Haelia could not manage to bring herself to agree.

"I am quite sorry, my lord. I am afraid I must see my brother off this evening. Perhaps when you return we might be able to see each other again."

Dairren's face fell only minutely and he nodded his head. Obviously Haelia's intent to dissuade him did not sink in, which was beneficial because it meant that her mother probably had not noticed as well.

When the meal ended, Fergus begged a few moments with his wife and child before his sister came to see him off. She understood and so left the dining hall with Ser Gilmore, much as she had entered it.

"...Well, one party seems quite interested, my lady," Ser Gilmore spoke candidly when they were out of earshot of the remaining party. Mather walked beside his mistress and barked once in disapproval of the suggestion.

Haelia smiled weakly and leaned a little into her walking partner. "Fortunately I may yet be able to avoid his advances. When they return from the war I imagine I will be the last thing on his mind."

"Have you ever seen a man return from battle?" Ser Gilmore responded with a chuckle. "I would say that you will be the only thing he thinks about. Especially in that dress."

Haelia's cheeks colored and she wished her hair was down so that she might be able to hide behind the curtain it created. Instead, she bowed her head a little and tried to hide the embarrassed smile that held her lips. "It is my belief that he will think on many a women similarly and that I am only special because I am present."

"He would be a fool to think so," Ser Gilmore spoke quickly, hurriedly adding a "my lady" at the end of the sentence to make it seem as though he were still her lesser and not an open companion.


The two took a turn about the castle while awaiting for time to elapse so that Haelia might visit her brother, speaking on the Grey Warden and what it could mean for Ser Gilmore. Eventually, he left her outside her brother's room – across the hall from her own – and Mather stood guard outside as she went in. Oriana and Oren were gone for the moment, which left only Haelia and her much-older brother standing beside the fireplace.

"Sister?" he called and she smiled as he did, crossing the floor to meet each other atop the Orlesian rug his mother had purchased as a wedding present years ago. They embraced each other tightly and Haelia's head rested against his shoulder. "I am glad you came."

"Did you think I wouldn't, Fergus?" she laughed a little, squeezing him tighter a moment. "I have only one brother to see off to battle. My biggest regret is that I am not to ride out with you."

"Someone has to stay behind and watch after the women," Fergus ribbed his sister and, as if she were still a child of six, she quite perfunctorily stuck her tongue out at him. "And, of course, Ser Gilmore."

Haelia had not been expecting the latter and she instinctively puled back a little, giving him a quizzical look.

"I am quite sure Ser Gilmore can look after himself. Moreover, he may be leaving with the Grey Warden. Duncan seemed quite fond of him."

"You and I both know that Duncan came for you," Fergus responded, his eyebrows raised a little in disbelief at his sister, who was adamantly shaking her head. Her brother only nodded, disagreeing. "Father would never have it. He suggested, instead, Ser Gilmore."

"If – and I am not saying I believe you, Fergus – but if that is the case, he must never know."

"Oh, I believe he already does. Despite your aversion to inflicting violence on living things, everyone that has seen you train knows that you are a formidable woman."

Again, her cheeks flushed and Haelia shook her head. "It is child's play."

"If you thought as much you would not wish to ride out with us, I think."

Haelia frowned at her brother's truth and moved away from him far enough to lean against the hearth over the crackling fireplace. As she did so, Fergus spoke again.

"It appears Dairren is quite taken with you. I imagine Mother is ecstatic."

She frowned a little, not saying anything. Fergus laughed quietly, "I thought as much. He wouldn't be able to keep up with you at any rate, sister. It was kind of you to let him down early."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Fergus. I had to come see you off; you are far more important than he could ever be."

"Haelia," he clucked his tongue, shaking his head as he took up the other side of the hearth, "you needn't use me as an excuse. I know you well enough to know that there is another reason Mother is having a devil of a time finding you a betrothed."

"Oh? Would you care to enlighten me so that I might right this wrong done to our beloved mother?"

Fergus remained silent and instead gave his sister a look that spoke more than words could. Haelia's cheeks flared with color.

"It doesn't matter, Fergus."

"It matters as much as anything else might, Haelia. Certainly I was lucky beyond thought with Oriana but I cannot imagine a nobleman suiting you. Had you heard that Arl Eamon suggested Connor as a match for you most recently?"

Haelia's eyes widened and she felt bile rise in her throat. The boy was...well, a boy. "They may as well have suggested I marry Oren, Fergus."

"Father dismissed it out of hand, as graciously as he could. I imagine Eamon now hopes that Anora will birth a little girl and all will be well."

It was a belief of the youngest Cousland generation that every other noble family in the country had a particular desire for "bettering" their family line. Their mother and father had suggested several candidates for Fergus but ultimately allowed him the choice of bride and they had saved Haelia as well from a number of less than prudent options. The Couslands were content with their lot in life and attempted only to improve Highever, not their standing. Though many had believed that Bryce, their father, was a better candidate for king than Cailan (not that any spoke it aloud any longer) he had never seemed upset that he had not been offered the crown. They were happy in Highever.

Haelia shook her head again and crossed the space between them to hug her brother again. "Perhaps when you and Father return I will be able to find a suitable match. For now, let us speak no more of weddings and silly things."

It was then that Oriana and Oren returned, with the Teyrn and Teyrna in tow.

The small family had a rather strained evening, with Fergus and Haelia attempting to lighten the mood and their father Bryce helping when he could. They spent over an hour with the roaring fire, saying their goodbyes. Fergus had to set out and wished one more moment alone with his wife and son, so the other three left them to it.