So, yeah, umm, my first fanfiction(or rather, series of fanfictions) EVAR. I like funny parodies, and I decided to write a series of them. But, these are much more random and different than, say, YOUR stories. Please don't be mean and flame, if you would. I will write more, and not just for this category, I assure you. And, yes, this has references to fics written by the Gods of C&H fanfics: Swing123 and garfieldodie. Yes, I did run it by them. Yes, they said yes. So, on 2 da str0y:
Calvin An' Hobbes: Not Really A TV Series - Episode 1: Intro With Aliens
Calvin and Hobbes need no introduction. Just like Mr. T.
"Gosh," Calvin droned on, "I really HATE Microsoft Word auto correct!"
"You said it." Hobbes replied.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
-ONE MONTH LATER-
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand DONE!" Calvin droned again like a Drone from Halo 3. Lame joke, I know.
"You think you'll really get a good grade on this?" Hobbes examined the typed edition of Calvin's history report on some small Micronesian island colony that existed for 5 months as an off-shoot of some tribe on some crappy island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean that was around in the Dark Ages. Dang, school is hard!
"Um, yea." Clavin-I-mean-Calvin replied.
"Hobbes replied." Hobbes replied.
Hobbes replied.
"lolwut? Anyway, you'd better print that thing. The DOOM printer would appreciate it." Hobbes replied AGAIN.
"Where's that Verdana font?" The DOOM printer complained. "And the bold and italic buttons? This is getting tiresome, ya know! Oh, and RAWR."
Calvin said "Oh, look! A new way of saying 'Calvin said'! Neat! Anyway, I gotta stop using the word "anyway". Oh, and stop going "Oh, insert thing here too. And print that document. DOOM printer?"
"With pleasure, because I just found the italic button. HRRRRRRGGGGNNNNHHHHHHH!" The DOOM printer (who likes to play Doom on Nightmare!) complied.
And the paper came out.
"Calvin! Time for our obligatory introduction!" Calvin's mother tried to keep quiet yet produced an ear-splitting screech that didn't affect her, Calvin, Hobbes, or Calvin's father, yet DID affect everyone else, even in alternate fanfiction universes, where Calvin is too busy battling aliens like Rupert and Earl.
"GARFIELD DIE! Wait, what?" Calvin sputtered.
"Calvin! Time for dinnah! GIT DOWN HEAH NOW!"
"We better "git down deah"." Hobbes said to Calvin.
"Ok, Hobbes. And, I can't WAIT to show my Micronesia report to Mom and Dad! Maybe they'll let me have extra desert!" Calvin beamed with excitement.
"Fat chance of that, Calvin." I think you don't need to know who says that. Not Taurus, who WILL be introduced later in the series as a villain. And not a throw-away one, the MAIN one. (until season three, that is). Okay, it's HOBBES who says that. Info-gluttons.
Once they were down to dinner, and sat at the table, Mom went "FATKIDZSCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
"EEIUSDHDHKHFBFJGFD! So, calvin, how'd you do on that report?" Dad replied like an average dad.
"Dad, stop decapitalizing my name!" Calvin moaned and groaned in time to his plate of anthropomorphic slop.
Ohhhhhhh, ohhh OHH ohh ohhhhhhhhhh……
Weeeeeeee wooooooooooooon't be haaaAAAAAaaving a theeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeme soooooooooooooooooooooooooong!!11
"Calvin, that;s ENOUGH!" Mom slashed at Calvin with a SOOPRAWSOM NUNJITS0 SWORD MADE FROM CHUCK NORRIS!!11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
I'm sorry, that was too random.
"Mom! Please don't use grammatical mistakes like that!" Calvin said, frightened, to his mom
"SILENCE! I AM THE MOTHER OF THIS HOUSE, AND YOU WONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO IMT YPOJNG SO FASF MY EEBALLS RBELLEDFIOJUIREGHUTIGSHERMANHUIEORGHIEUPGHRT404-
BOOM!
The house exploded.
Calvin was utterly amazed. The whole house was leveled(except for the dinner table), nobody died(Mom was nowhere to be found, though), and no-one but Calvin and Hobbes seemed to notice(Susie, Moe, Candance, and everyone else ill give a speaking cameo later on in the season didn't notice, obviously).
"Hmm. Seems Dad hasn't done much talking lately." Hobbes commented.
Suddenly, a spaceship came into view!
"Woah. Times a billion." Calvin amazed himself with his manly voice.
Hobes was too shocked for words, and so was Hobbes.
Dad was still eating his dinner. (read: dinner dead facehuggers from Aliens. Keep it secret!)
The spaceship landed, and out came two generic-looking aliens, with big black eyes, tiny, flat noses tiny mouths, and gray skin. Oh, and big heads.
Did I mention their spaceship wasn't big? And I can't stop using big?
Anywho, they didn't speak(nobody did), instead, they took Mom, whole and everything, out from their galactic space pockets.
"'Galactic space pockets'? AHAHAHAHAHA! That's even lamer than MST3001! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAZOMBIESAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!11111111111111111111111" Calvin and Hobbes laughed together.
The aliens shook their heads. Suddenly-then(the newest generic word hybrid, in stores now, only 3.95 bucks! BUY IT NOW FOR YOUR STORIES!), a big mechanical hand came out of the spaceship. I'm not even going to DESCRIBE exactly how it puts the entire house back together, to the state before Mom blew. Up. Sick 'tards. Then-suddenly(the even newer version of the generic word hybrid! Designed to suck the monies from your wallet! BUY NOW! ONLY 4.95! USE IT AGAIN FOR YOUR STORIES!), the aliens placed Mom on the empty chair at the dinner table, flicked a switch on her back neck (omg future plot device), and quickly got to their spaceship, and flew away.
"Well, Calvin? How's your report?" Mom asked Calvin.
"I just finished it! Here, have a look." Calvin handed his report to his Mom.
"This is wonderful, Calvin! I'm sure you'll get a fine grade on this!"
"Yeah, thanks Mom."
Calvin took the report back from Mom, went upstairs, put it in his green gaping maw of a backpack for safekeeping, went back down and rejoined the dinner party. Don't ask me how he did that with the permission of his parents.
"Say, Hobbes?"
"Yeah, Calvin?"
"Who do you think those aliens were, anyway?"
"Eh, probably from the planet Plot Development. I can tell by their long hands."
"I didn't know you were so knowledgeable, Hobbes!"
"I didn't know you could say 'knowledgeable'."
"Are you insinuating anything?"
"Look, let's just skip the boring dialogue, and get to the fight that Mom and Dad CONVIENTLY won't notice."
"Okay, Hobbes."
insert fight scene here
"Well, that was lame."
"You said it, Hobbo."
C & H finished their dinners (respectively), went to bed, slept, got up, went to school, got beat up by Moe('cuz Calvin took Hobbes to school, to show him that he WOULD get a good report on that grade-I-mean a good grade on that report), and got a D on that report.
"Aw, MAN!" Calvin was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO disappointed.
"Well, young man, do a better job next time!" Miss Crab-I-mean-Woodworm replied. Replied replied replied. Replied.
"But I did!" Calvin moaned and woaned and groaned.
"Don't forget we told you so!" Hobbes sang.
"Oh, shut up. Hey, does anyone notice these different quotation marks? Cool!" Calvin managed to spurt out the LAST LINE IN THE FIRST EPISODE OF THE FIRST SEASON OF THE FIRST UNIQUELY UNIQUE NONBORING PSEUDO-TV SERIES ON THE CALVIN AND HOBBES OF THE WEBSITE OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
And that concludes this 6-page-long(in Microsoft Word, that is) fanfiction, NOT story. I enjoyed writing this, and i'll write more if you want. By the way, this was written at midnight. No joke. And, yes, this IS a series, an unorthodox one at best. Remember, R&R! Suggestions are always welcome!
Oh, and all the so-called leaked plot development in this chapter? Well, it all WILL happen. Just you wait. See if you can find all the leaked plot info while you wait! And one more thing, this will not be updated regularly, like every Saturday. It will be updated whenever I feel like it.
