Disclaimer: Nope, not even a revision is going to help this piece of trash! Anyhow, you can still take a gander and see for yourself. I don't own any of these characters; just borrowing.





A Different Kind of Avalanche




"Dammit, Tseng! When you said we'd be going on vacation, I didn't know you meant we'd be wandering around in a huge freezer, digging ditzes out of trenches," Reno groaned as he leaned his head foreward while trying desperately to pat the melting snow out of his damp hair. Elena, having successfully tumbled down an extremely steep incline while attempting to punch Reno (for good reason) after getting out of the car less than an hour earlier, only glared at him as she wrung out her blonde hair, a puddle of water forming at her feet.

The quadruplet of Turks had decided to vary their vacational surroundings and go for a nature trip, vastly differing from the cultural surroundings of Wutai. Of course, a bit of persuasion was necessary; Reno was discordant at first, reluctant to abandon the Turtle's Paradise and alcohol altogether for the length of the trip.

All four of the ShinRa employees were shocked at the sight before them when they entered, though. The 'luxuriously furnished cabin' Elena had been promised when reserving a temporary home for them all was nothing more than a single-roomed shack embedded in the side of a mountain, containing only a blanket that lay in a heap in a corner of the room. The fact that she'd also been falsely informed that the warmth factor would already be taken care of with a reliable heater only added to their problem. Then there was the fact that there was no food supply in the cabin...

Only planning to stay for three days or so, each Turk had only brought a small suitcase filled with clothing and other necessities... with an exception of food. Everything they'd been promised, they hadn't brought. In other words... they were screwed.

Maybe *that's* why the curator altered his voice when I was on the phone with him and refused to see us in person..., Elena pondered to herself, her wide eyes scanning over the barren shack.

"What the fu-.. Elena, you'd better tell me that this's just the storage shack of the cabin!" Reno demanded after giving up on clearing his hair of snow and glancing around the room and its contents-- or the lack thereof.

"Hey, don't blame this all on me! We were gypped! Damn bastard lied and--" Elena's voice was abruptly drowned out by Reno's.

"That's why you're still called a rookie! Ugh... Because of you, we're all stuck here in a fuckin' dump, deprived of food, warmth, and.. SHIT, where's the alcohol you said that guy would have for us?!" Reno nudged Rude in the ribs as the latter was just slowly turning his head, carefully observing the room.

"That's the whole point! 'That guy' was lying the whole time...!" Elena was getting tired of being blamed for their misfortune, and was ready to punch Reno again, this time intent on hitting her mark.

"Elena, Elena, Elena...," he replied, solemnly shaking his head, looking to the dust-covered ground. When he spoke again, his voice was calm. "See, if you hadn't been such a complete moron and actually knew how to distinguish a--"

"Don't talk to me like that!" Elena angrily stomped her foot against the rotting floor, succeeding in cracking it. "Bastard!"

An exchange of insults soon began. Tseng, who'd been carefully inspecting the so-called cabin, finally finished and decided to end their argument. He couldn't risk getting a headache, especially when there wasn't even any aspirin supplied by the curator. The ebony-haired man stepped between the two quarreling Turks, parting them as Elena was just about to grab Reno's hair to rip out a lock.

"Come on, calm down!" Unable to ignore their superior, the two Turks parted, Reno's eye angrily twitching and Elena's face flushed pink from fury. When she remembered Tseng was watching them, though, she immediately brushed her hand through her hair and adjusted her clothing, embarrassed about momentarily having such a barbaric appearance in front of him. After clearing his throat, he continued in a calm, pleasant tone. "Now, Elena... Would you, by any chance, have copied down the wrong address...?"

"N, no... I'm sure of it! I mean.. No, Tseng, sir, this is the right place...!" she stuttered in response. At this, he let out a sigh, all hope lost.

"Hey.. Hey, Rude, gimme your money..." Reno could be heard whispering to the silent, bald Turk. Curious about what mischief Reno was planning, Tseng asked what he needed the money for. "I'm getting out of here and finding a BETTER place to stay. I'll go find a hotel, or somethin'... I'm taking the car, too. And as a bonus, I'll even drop of all your stuff once I find a place. Y'know, 'cause it might be getting late soon. Don't want anyone stealing our stuff while we're dozin' off..." Eager to leave the cramped area to find a more comfortable place to rest, Reno hurriedly piled everyone's bags into his arms and ran out to the car, somehow dragging Rude along with him in the process.

"Reno..!" Tseng was just about to pursue the two men, but knew it would be fruitless when he heard the roar of an engine outside.

"Well.. Now what?" Elena asked, sitting down on one of the cleaner spots on the ground. Her male companion shrugged.

"Now we wait," he said, not having any other practical alternatives.




* * *





In the process of hotel-searching, Reno and Rude were successful in finding the local pub. Unfortunately, they came to the conclusion that drinking was more important than finding a suitable place to spend the night, so the two men enthusiastically hopped out of their car and got sloshed with gallons hard liquor.




* * *




Meanwhile, Tseng and Elena sat in the unfurnished shack with nothing to do.

"I finally have time alone with Tseng without doing anything suspicious to acquire it.. but why can't I think of anything to say!?" Tired of silence, with an exception of an occasional cough from Tseng, she blurted out, "Sooo, how do you like them Dodgers?"

"Elena..." he began, exasperated with her antics. He stopped talking when he heard someone laughing in the distance.

"Huh? What's that?" Apparently, Elena had also heard, but was soon quieted with a motion of Tseng's hand.

They sat in silence while the voices came closer. Soon, they were able to distinguish the voices as Reno's and Rude's. Completely drunk and out of it, they were merrily belting out their version of the song "Sober", only stopping to gasp for breath or laugh almost maniacally. Annoyed, Tseng rose from the floor and opened the door to watch them advance on the cabin with a disapproving brow raised.

(Author's Note: Disregard the cheesy plug insertion.)

"I WANT.. ALCOHOL...," Reno hollered. Elena felt and heard the floor rumble slightly. "C'mon, Rude, JOIN IN.." The floor shook a bit more.

"H, hey.. Tseng, isn't this cabin right next to a mountain...?" Elena inquired with a worried look apparent on her face.

"Yeah, it--"

"WE WANT... ALCOHOL...," the two drunken men roared. At that moment, there was an even louder roar coming from above. Having knowledge of what was very likely to come next, Tseng quickly shut the door. He did not escape when given the opportunity, knowing he couldn't run out and leave her on her own. His timing was just right, as snow came tumbling down in titanic heaps. There seemed to be a huge earthquake beneath the two people in the cabin as white boulders continued to plunge until the only door was blocked; they were trapped.



* * *




"Heeeey, Rude, the shack dis-tuh-ppeeeeared...," Reno slurred as he stared in awe at the white wall before him that was previously the location of the cabin.

"Sure looked like an avalanche to me," Rude mumbled.

"An av-Uhhh-lanche!? Well, then, buuuddy! We gotta save 'em fast as we can..!" Reno waddled over to wall of snow and began digging ineffectively with his hands. After a minute, he turned to demand help from his friend, but saw he'd passed out face-down in the snow. "Heh, heh.. Purty good idea..." At that, he took after Rude's example and fell forward into the cold white blanket for an untimely nap.



* * *





"Ts-Tseng... It's getting pretty c-cold.." Elena shivered despite the heavy coat she wore. A single lantern lit the room, and she look to the wall across to see him, shadows of the flame flickering across his face. "How're we gonna.. ge-get out of here..?"

"Not much we can do but wait for help to come to us. Trying to dig our way out would be futile, after all." Tseng shrugged and tossed the crumpled blanket to her, struggling to refrain from shivering in order to keep up his strong facade. She gratefully accepted the rag and draped it around her shoulders, but a look of concern appeared on her face.

"But, Tseng, aren't you cold, too...?"

"No, I'm fine."

"... Then why're your teeth chattering?"

"They're not. I'm just... chewing on my tongue. It's a habit..."

"You must be bleeding by now, then..."

"Uh..." Tseng let out long sigh that pretty much expressed all the frustration and annoyance he'd felt within a couple hours all at once. "You're right. It's freezing in here, we're stuck for Holy-knows-how-long, and we've got two drunks laying around outside the cabin with no clue as to what to do. And this is how I spend the first vacation I get in eleven months..."

"Hm... Yep, life is peachy, wouldn't you say?" Elena jokingly inquired in an attempt to lighten the mood. Instead, Tseng gave no visible reaction and merely gazed boredly at her. "... Well, you can have the blanket back..."

"I'm quite all right. I've been in worse situations."

"Y-you know, er... body heat--"

"Yes, I know. No, it's not necessary. Thank you for the offer." Elena pouted, not exactly thrilled about being rejected twice within thirty seconds, and turned her head to the side and pretended to examine cracks in the wall so that he could no longer see her flushed countenance.

Deep in thought, Tseng unconsciously stifled a yawn and lay down on the floor, his back haivng acquired pains from leaning against the wall. Unfortunately, he hadn't noticed the puddle of water Elena had made when drying out her hair earlier until he landed in it. He grumbled a few profanities and something about the water, the words hardly intelligible to Elena except something about 'freezing to death in wet clothes.'

Pitying her superior, she removed the blanket from her shoulders and stood to hand it over to him. The man took it, returned her favor with a mumbled 'thanks', and began to remove his shirt. This caused Elena to turn an even rosier shade, but she tried to hide it by gazing at the ceiling in a false show of amusement. Of course, her eyes would occasionally dart back in his direction, and she would catch a glimpse of his topless form once in a while.

Meanwhile, Tseng was pondering some of the day's events to himself. Though Elena probably wasn't aware that he knew, Tseng did know of her fairly large 'crush' on him. He couldn't help but crack a small smile for her ignorance as he caught her staring at the walls. He rarely had time alone to think, especially in such a quiet environment. Now he had plenty of time to contemplate. To say the least, Elena was... interesting. Sure, her mind could seem vacant at times, commonly bringing frustration upon him. Still, it also gave her character, oddly enough. Elena was charming, except he could never admit that. Relationships with coworkers would most likely result in failure, also meaning the whole thing would be a waste of precious time. His job was important to him; romances, on the other hand, were just a form of entertainment, and Rufus would have a tantrum if he found out; he wanted his employees working to the best of their ability, especially if they were in charge of guarding his life. Tseng couldn't help but pity the blonde woman, though. Knowing nothing of his infatuation with the Ancient, she blindly continued to pursue him.

He yawned again, causing his train of thought to collapse. He checked his watch to see it was half past midnight. "Elena, you should be getting to sleep. Take the blanket, before you freeze." She shook her head, but was hugging her knees to her chest in an attempt to warm herself, and appeared to him for a moment to be a defenseless little girl, lost in a huge city with no one to assist her in finding her way.

Tseng studied in wonder for a moment, trying to figure out how someone as slight and delicate as she had been accepted into a group such as the Turks. "Underestimating a woman, again... That's what got you in trouble last time," he mentally chastised himself. Ignoring the woman's protests, he covered her with the heavy blanket, taking more care than what was needed. "The Turks are already short of people. Wouldn't want one of us out of commission because of pneumonia..." Or was that the *only* reason he'd so carefully placed the blanket on her, hundreds of thoughts and emotions flashing through his mind in that one short moment? He shook his head as though it would clear his mind and lay back down on his side of the room. He shaped his previously wet jacket to resemble a sort of pillow and rested his head on it, arm nestled beneath. After glancing at his female companion, who had already dozed off, he, too, drifted to sleep.




* * *




At around 2:00 a.m., Elena opened her eyes to see Tseng still in a restless slumber. He continually adjusted the position of his head, seemingly incapable of feeling comfortable, shivering every few seconds.

"Tsk, tsk..." Again, she removed the blanket from herself that had been passed back and forth so many times between them and knelt down to place it on Tseng's tremulous form. "Even out on vacation, you never really find peace, do you, Tseng?" Finally satisfied when he stopped shuddering, she sat beside him and pulled her knees up to her chest again. She felt content, and dazed, as she watched him; his usually stoic demeanor had diminished for the time being. Now, she saw him as a young boy finally finding release from whatever problems plagued him, unconsciously relieved... and happy, despite the fact that they were still trapped within an avalanche.

Her body shuddered in reminder, and she was no longer immune to the biting cold of the northern continent as she had been while thinking. Having nowhere else to go and no other means of warmth, she lifted a side of the blanket, but hesitated to crawl beneath. After studying the man's softened visage, though, she proceeded. The warmth beneath and the sight of Tseng's calm face brought her a feeling of euphoria. She snuggled up to him a bit, at first worried that he would reject her yet again, but soon changed her mind. If he asked her about her intentions in the morning, she could always blame it on the weather.

"Aeris..." She heard Tseng whisper in his sleep. Elena frowned at the thought of the Ancient whose name gnawed at her mind, and withdrew a bit, only to be encircled by one of Tseng's arms. Surprised at first, she soon relaxed and dozed off into a restful sleep beside him, the name of the girl who held Tseng's interest dwindling from her mind.

Minutes later, Tseng awoke to find himself in the awkward position. Without thinking, he would have pulled his arms away from the woman beside him. He realized, though, for some reason he felt... relaxed, as though everything was utterly fine. He didn't feel he was doing anything wrong. But it was strange. Less than half a day stuck in a cabin allowed him to acknowledge whatever feelings he had for Elena, while it took years for him to just realize the same of Aeris, those of which he was struggling not to accept. His eyes scanned the delicate, relaxed features of her face. By the end of his inspection, he had decided he would act upon his feelings for he blonde Turk at the next opportunity. If she could make him feel this way just by putting his arm around her, he couldn't imagine what she could do for him over a lifetime.

"Rufus can't have a tantrum if he doesn't know...," he thought.



Funny what a run-down shack and two drunks can do for a person, isn't it?





* * *



Author's Note: If you hated, liked, or really didn't give a damn about this fic, please review anyhow! I bask in feedback- it gives me an idea of whether I should continue writing, or quit for the well-being of humankind.