Closing the last Manga of FMA i sighed. This would be the third time I've read the whole series. Life tends to get boring here in the hospital when you've been here for about..eh four years. I'm in 10th grade now and I really feel like killing myself. Everyday I have to wake up to the smell of disinfectant and medicine, then the stupid nurses that seem way too happy to be in a hospital skip their merry way into the boring white room that they say is only 'temporary' while they set their clipboard on my night stand with the occasional colorful flower sitting next to me so they can give me my medicine then stick a new needle into my arm for my iv once in a while.
I have some kind of sickness that I don't know how to pronounce and it has bound me to this disgusting hospital. Sometimes thought it's not so bad when there is some other teen around my age because we get to visit, but now I've figured not to get too close to anybody here at the hospital because they usually always leave before I ever get to, or will. I'm starting to feel that I will never leave...But at least I have Mr. Morgan. He's the 60 year old man that lives across the hall from me. He's been here for over eight years, half the time I've been here. I feel really bad for him..I think that's why a year after I checked in I decided to go and pay the wrinkly old man a visit.
Mr. Morgan is a really nice man. Over time I started to call him grandpa M. Every afternoon after lunch I trudge my way over to his room and we visit until the nurse comes in and tells me to go to my room.
Mr. Morgan is always making jokes about the nurses, telling them that they aren't hip with the new generation and they always pop all the balloons at the party. Usually though when I go to talk to Mr. Morgan we talk about FMA. It may not seem like it but after I introduced him to the manga and the T.V. series/movies he has been about as addicted as me. He is always talking about how he hopes I can get well soon so an Edward can come along and rescue me from my personal hell. I always laugh and pretend that his brain is all whacked up before I remind him that FMA isn't real but deep down inside there is this little beat of pain that wishes it were real, my body wishes I could fall in love and be swept away by a heroic Edward Elric, but I can't and never will...Especially because last month my condition got worse and they moved me to a different part of the hospital which scared me. They moved me to the west wing which is where all the people who have critical conditions are placed, the west wing is usually where they place people when they think they are going to die soon.
I asked the nurses why they were moving me and they told me it's because they were running out of room and it would be fine but I knew they were lying. The first night they moved me they talked to my mom out in the hallway where they thought I couldn't hear then broke the new to her that I was expected to pass away soon but they were going to try their best to help me, to save me.
That night when my mother left I cried in my hospital bed. I trashed my feet and threw my pillow at a pretty water color that was framed on a suttle blue wall almost making it fall. I hated that picture so much. It was of a happy little girl who was picking flowers in a field with a cute little cottage waiting for her in the distance.
What were they thinking putting a picture like that in a hospital room for people who will probably never get to be that happy, people who will never get a chance to be that free again.
Finally after a while I go so fed up with that stupid picture I took it down and placed it in a small closet I had in my room for extra blankets and such. The nurses not long after found it in there and the only thing They gave me was an apologetic look before taking it out of my room, Leaving me alone again so I could thrash my feet and arms in anger while tears floated down my face. Hoping that if I cried enough I could create a sea and I could just swim away like Alice in Wonderland,but Today for some reason I was feeling extra tired. My eyes felt heavy and my body couldn't be heated as easily as it could before. I knew something was wrong because more people started to visit me today, even Mr. Morgan dropped by and cracked some jokes but silly stuff but something about him just didn't seem right today, he seemed depressed and even though his smile was the same his eyes were dull and full of sorrow when his dark brown orbs looked at me.
I asked him several times what was wrong but he just told me that he wasn't feeling too well today, that's what he told me before he kissed my forehead then waved goodbye promising me he would visit me again tomorrow before he quietly closed my door and his soft feet slid on the floor outside my room while he trudged away.
In reality I knew what was going on. I knew I was dying but my mind didn't want me to think that. I was too tired that night to protest me dying so instead I went to bed early that night. Hoping that in the morning I would wake up feeling better so I could be moved back to my old familiar room and trudge my way over to Grandpa M's room that smelled like old people like always so he could tease me about my crush on Edward. But I knew that tomorrow would never come...Well, at least for me it wouldn't.
