Zamunda Exhibition

"Akeem, your country is so beautiful" Lisa Joffer, the former Lisa McDowell said to her husband as they returned to the royal palace. She had been introduced to much of the country, both city and wilderness, on their honeymoon tour. The population seemed to embrace her as the new bride of Prince Akeem with much gusto.

"But you must think of it as your country now, too. After all, you have married a prince" Akeem responded.

"Conceded, but you weren't a prince when I met you. I mean you were, but you were pretending to be a student."

"Don't think I wasn't a student. I learned much from my time in America. How hard the people there work, and struggle, and try to find love. It was very educational." Forsaking his arranged marriage and home, Akeem and his friend Semmi had come to America and pretended to be poor exchange students in order for Akeem to find a woman who would love him for the person he was, and not as an heir to the throne of Zamunda. He found menial work at a fast food restaurant owned by Lisa's father, Cleo McDowell. While he learned about life in America, he also came to fall in love with Lisa and she with him. His identity was uncovered, and he returned to his country only to find that on the day of his arranged marriage the bride was switched and it was Lisa after all, much to his astonishment and joy.

Even now, three weeks after the ceremony, it still seemed like a dream to Lisa. The couple had toured most of the country, which consisted of a great deal of wild savanna with plentiful game. "Do you think you'll ever want to go back to America?"

"For a visit, yes. To live, no. Queens was an interesting place, but I do not like too much city. Zamunda is my home, and it is in my heart."

"Go to most other places in my country and you'll find it's very different. We may have a few cities like New York, but much of the country is open and vast all the way to Hawaii."

"Hawaii is an island, yes? Is it as crowded as New York?"

"I've never been there, but there are parts that are jungle-like in addition to its cities. But there must be parts of life in America that you will miss."

"Just as I was thinking, my wife. I will miss seeing some of the colorful people that I met there; many more different types than I've met in my country. And I will miss sports. America has so many different kinds, a person could not watch them all. They even have a game called football that is nothing like our football; I wonder why do they call it that when you can use your hands? And basketball too; I watched some Blue Wild Grass Cats play a most riveting game on television."

"Kentucky. It's the Bluegrass State, and the team in the Wildcats."

"Lisa, that is what I said. It would be so wonderful to have sports like that in my country; I think the people would be entertained. Our only sports are what you call soccer and hunting wild game, unless you count being chased by the animals as track and field that is."

"Maybe you can start a sport here! You don't think your father would object do you?" Lisa asked. King Jaffe loved his son, but he was much more traditional in his tastes.

"No, he would not object as long as he was not involved in any way. As king he is involved in many important matters so he does not concern himself with entertainment for the people. But it would be hard to organize such a large undertaking; I think it would be better to start small. We already are planning on sending someone to the next Olympics."

"Olympics take place in other countries, though" Lisa considered. "You want an event your people can watch. How about baseball? You told me you watched some old games on TV and enjoyed it. Many people play baseball in America, even children. Maybe you could get one of the big teams to come here."

"Professional teams? I don't think we could get them to come here even for an exhibition. But there must be two teams somewhere that would be willing to put on a goodwill game for our countries; maybe even from a poor college. My father does not approve of sports and wants nothing to do with them, but if I can succeed I think he will see the value of them. I will get no help from him, but his aide Oha would help if I ask him behind my father's back." Akeem sent for the man to make arrangements.

Quickly, a game was arranged between two college teams, with travel and expenses paid by Zamunda. The capital's arena, located on the outskirts of the city next to a game preserve and used chiefly for soccer and parades, was reorganized into a makeshift field and two months later the game took place in the arena. The crowd roared its approval as both teams were introduced; although they weren't familiar with the game or the rules, the Zamunda people were enthusiastic as the athletes got down to playing the game. A large scoreboard told the crowd that both teams were evenly matched and the battle was tooth and nail. Some confusion ensued when the seventh inning stretch occurred and the public address told everyone to stand for the song. Some left, thinking the game over until the announcer told everyone to stay for the conclusion of the contest.

Running to catch a long fly ball in the eighth inning, an outfielder crashed into a temporary wall and knocked over a large section. The opening allowed a multitude of wild animals from the preserve next door to stream into the arena and onto the field. Predator and prey ran among the players, who in turn scattered to the nearest exits while the people in the stands screamed and fled. Soon a few wardens arrived and attempted in vain to herd the wild animals away.

Semmi looked over the situation from high in the royal booth. "The situation looks serious, Akeem. We will not be able to continue the exhibition. What do we do now?"

The prince sighed and sadly surveyed the field. A few injured players were being quickly dragged off the field by assistants. As soon as an animal was shooed out the opening, a new one would bound in. Lisa stood by his side in a supportive hug. "End the game" he said. "As much as it pains me, have Oha call the palace and speak with my father to inform him. I am afraid this will set back my hopes for sport in this country for some time."

"Understood." Semmi left the booth to inform Oha and see what could be done.

Very much later, near sunset, Akeem and Lisa were still in the booth. The field had been cleared, the stands were empty, the wall replaced, and very little remained of the earlier festive event or the disaster that interrupted it. Semmi returned from his errands; in the meantime he had been informed that the animals were all contained back on the preserve.

"What of the people?" Akeem asked. "From what I could tell up here there were no serious injuries. Did you get any additional information from the hospital?"

"X-rays showed no broken bones, although some will take time to recover from their cuts and scratches; they certainly got a big scare. But you might say it was an historic event" Semmi smirked.

"You both have a very devious grin on your faces." Lisa observed. "Go ahead, tell me..."

"Zamunda" Akeem said as he shrugged "has achieved baseball history: For the first time ever, the reign was called on the account of game."

The End


A/N: I probably would have written this story a little differently under normal conditions but I wanted to use the pattern I did as an exercise. What, you didn't notice a pattern? Just examine the beginning of each paragraph.

It wouldn't have changed the pun, though.