A/N: How does a Celebrity stay clear of his or her Fans? Like this.

Fan Repellent

Are a celebrity? Do you have throngs of fans that constantly annoy, stalk or harass you? If you do then come on down to Hearts Above All and get your very own bottle of Fan Repellent. The all natural spray that is guaranteed to get rid of those pesky hanger on's and fan boys and girls. Not to mention those ne'er do well reporters that are just dying to kick you in the pants. (Metaphorically Speaking.)

Just listen to some of our satisfied costumers:

Albus Dumbledore,"I used it for the greater good. I am eternally grateful I didn't have to read through fan mail it wouldn't have been good at all."

Cornelius Fudge,"Fan Repellent helped me get away from my number one fan. Thank You Hearts Above All."

Viktor Krum,"This is a good product for the Qudditch players everywhere."

Lord Voldemort,"I never really needed this shit. (Just read the card already.) Fine. This stuff is the best repellent on the market for those like me with throngs of....FAN BOYS? Who wrote this shit?"

Now back to our regularly sch.....

Harry Potter,"Hey now what about me? I have fans too you know."

Lord Voldemort,"Indeed young Potter? Are you certain of that?"

Harry Potter,"Of course I'm sure. After all I'm the star, the hero, the savior and the boy-who-freaking-lived. So I, without a doubt, have fans."

Viktor Krum,"You are very how do you say, full of yourself."

Albus Dumbledore,"I quite agree Mr. Krum Harry does seem rather full of himself."

Harry Potter,"Oh alright so it's just four fans and only two speak English. I still have fans damn it!"

As they continued to argue the director of the commercial thought that perhaps he should have gone with the weird people from Middle Earth instead.


A/N: I just had one of those bleh moments in which I decided the world would be better with this in it. Ta -Grimm.