Holiday Treats
Please…let…me…catch…this…fool. The thought huffed out of my mind as I ran through puddles of slush and jumped over patches of ice. How in the hell could your thoughts be out of shape?
I was chasing Neilson Marconi, another distinguished FTA, and he seemed to be as challenged as I was in this chase. Maybe all those times my mother had crossed herself and lit all those candles were paying off. Or maybe it was because of all those mornings Ranger drug my ass out of bed to run a few miles.
"Damn it Marconi, it's a simple rubber check offense." I managed to leap over a frozen bag of trash as I rounded the corner onto Hamilton Street. "We're talking about one hour at the most to reschedule." I hadn't noticed Marconi wearing a watch so how would he know I was lying. Besides, I had promised Lula I'd meet her as soon as I was finished to go shopping with her. She wanted to buy something hot to wear for her and Tank's six-month anniversary.
"It's my third offense; you know what they're going to do to me?" He pleaded to me over his shoulder.
True, it was his third offense and if I brought him in, I'd make enough money to finish up my Christmas shopping. My left food hit a lump of frozen snow and I fell to my knees.
"Shit, that hurt." Well, there goes Ranger's gift. All he wanted for Christmas was me naked wearing 4 inch heels and a bow. Somehow, I didn't think two blue knees would add to the festiveness of the gift.
Painfully, I scrambled back up and began slip sliding after Marconi. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't get a steady rhythm to my feet. My heavy coat and frozen extremities robbed me of what little natural coordination I had.
Marconi and I rounded the block, Hamilton Street stretched out in all its holiday finest. I truly hated the weeks between Halloween and Christmas. One minute kids were at your door screaming "Trick or Treat" and the next thing you knew, kids were at your door singing Silver Bells.
I was gaining on Marconi when I saw his arms start to flail about wildly as he tried to maintain his balance, "Holy shit!" He screamed as his feet went out from under him, landing solidly on his back, knocking the air out of him with a loud whoosh.
My feet hit the same patch of smooth ice, but I managed to stay upright and slid right into him. I rolled him over and cuffed him before he had a chance to start breathing again.
I dropped Marconi off at the police station, congratulated Eddie on his promotion and made all the appropriate wows and omigods over his new badge as if it were a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes.
Lula and I pulled into the back parking lot at Vinnie's at the same time. I hopped out of my car and into hers. "I love a woman who knows the importance of shopping," she smiled.
"So any ideas on what you want to look for?"
"I want something so hot his hands will get burnt when he touches me."
"Okay." I was beginning to think that maybe I was too tired for this level of shopping.
At the first traffic light, Lula took a left. "Where are you going? The mall's that way."
"Girl, we aren't going to the mall, nothing there hot enough." Lula took a right and started hunting for a parking place. "Pleasure Treasures is under new management and they're having a grand opening sale. This time, the store's carrying a whole line of fantasy lingerie."
"Oh nooo," I shook my head. "I am not going back into that store. Nope, no way." I shuddered at the memory of our last couple of visits to the store and the interesting purchases I had unwillingly taken home.
"Come on girlfriend, I promise you won't have to buy anything this time and look on the bright side; probably with the new management, nobody will be pointing a gun at us!"
Lula had an armload of fantasy lingerie and was heading for the dressing room. "You want to come in with me? Help me pick out the right one?"
Just the thought of seeing Lula in one of those skimpy pieces, each covered with sequins and tassels, caused my eye to start twitching and all knowledge of the English language to flee from my head. All I could do was shake my head no.
"Well, just look around then," Lula disappeared into the dressing room.
I thought about waiting in the car, but Lula had the keys and I didn't want to risk a glimpse of her in whatever stage of trying on she might be in. Plus, it was cold outside and my feet were just starting to feel warm again.
The front door chimed as three more women came into the store, bringing the total number of customers to ten. Business was already looking up compared to the last time I'd been here.
Standing around with my hands in my pockets started to feel more perverted than actually looking around. I started walking and looking at the different displays, staying far away from the XXX section. I stopped to look at a pyramid built out of jars of Sex Icing. In the center was an open jar of the chocolate variety with small spoons for sampling. Hmm, now this might be fun.
I picked up the open jar and held it to my nose. Wow, this smelled wonderful. My mouth started to water. Oh, what the hell. Chocolate was healthy for you, right? Probably made bruises heal faster and my knees were going to look like two grapes tomorrow. I took one of the small spoons and scooped up a small taste. Whoa, was this good! Not wanting to double-dip, I picked up another spoon and dug down into the jar for another taste. I closed my eyes in delight as the chocolate melted on my tongue, leaving the smooth flavor of coco in my mouth. A shiver went through my body as I wondered how much better this would taste licking it off Ranger's tight body.
"That's one of our best selling items." My eyes flew open. Standing next to me was a well-dressed woman with a Pleasure Treasures nametag. "Would you like me to ring one up for you?"
"Uhm," Embarrassed, I put the sample jar back down on the table.
The woman smiled and pointed to the lower right corner of her mouth, the universal sign that you had something on your face. Even more embarrassed now, I ran my tongue over my bottom lip.
"Got it," she laughed quietly. "One or two jars?"
"Just one, unless you have something in a sugar and fat free variety," I asked jokingly.
"Strawberry okay?" My mouth dropped open and she laughed again. "I understand that it goes well with whipped cream."
Oh boy.
All the way home and even during the elevator ride up to the seventh floor, I tried to decide if I should hide the Pleasure Treasures bag or not. The last time I brought a bag home from there, Ranger teased me about it for days.
I closed the apartment door and set the bag on the floor while I took my coat off. I felt the familiar warmth of his body as he came up behind me, his arms pulling me into his front.
"Evening Babe." He whispered as he placed a kiss on the side of my neck.
I turned in his arms and hugged him around the waist. "Nice greeting to come home to."
He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me until I could no longer breathe. "Babe, you taste like chocolate." He flashed me one his beautiful smiles. "What's in the bag?" He bent down to pick it up before I could turn around.
He looked inside and then his smile doubled in size. "You giving up donuts?" He asked as he pulled out one of the jars. I felt my face grow warm and I lowered my eyes.
Ranger pulled me into his chest and softly kissed the tip of my nose, "Too bad you forgot the whipped cream."
Oh boy.
